Gift of the Hidden Hero
by Iavalir
Summary: The night Legolas's mother died left behind many scars. Years later Legolas is faced with the same horror of his past, leaving him with wounds too deep to be cured by any healer's hands. What can Haldir do to help him? Full warnings inside.
1. Prologue

**Warnings:** character deaths, violence, torture, rape/non-con, and MPREG.

* * *

All of Mirkwood had been searching for Queen Glivereth that night. Though none could fully see the culprit, they believed it was one of the large spiders that had captured her. King Thranduil led the search party, and every single son and daughter of Mirkwood's King and Queen had been out looking, followed closely by all the guards and even a number of the civilians. They came with their bowstrings and arrows, their swords, and their torches, ready to wage war on the spiders who have long outlived their stay in their woodland.

But when Legolas, the youngest son of Thranduil and Glivereth, discovered his mother, he found that it was it no spider that had claimed her life. Legolas had strayed from the party when he thought he heard something far to the right of their path. He took no torches with him but used his keen elven sight to maneuver in the darkness, for the trees here grew thick and blocked what little light that came from the moon.

The strange sounds led him to a wide glade in the forest. A long slender creature shrouded in shadows was hunched over something. The sounds Legolas had heard was that of the creature gulping as the it fed on its victim. A long trail of golden hair could be seen underneath the villain; Legolas could also see an arm that protruded from underneath the creature; this arm still wore band of gold adorned with green leaves. With a painful leap of his heart Legolas realized the victim was his mother, and the creature was feeding from her neck, draining the elvenqueen of her blood.

Bile rose up Legolas's throat. Under the moonlight he could vaguely make out his mother's face. He didn't need to step closer to see that she was dead, for the stench of the body filled the air. Rage and grief gripped him; he pulled back an arrow against the bowstring, ready to strike the beast, but at that moment the creature looked up straight at him.

Its vivid eyes bore into Legolas, freezing him in his place. Though the moonlight shined directly on the creature, it was still difficult to see anything of it besides the bright red eyes and the blood that dripped from its long fangs. Like a dark phantom it was, fusing with every other shadow of the forest. Still, Legolas could make out its general shape: not of that of a beast, but more of an elf or human. He tried to raise his bowstring again but found that he could not move. Nor could he tear his eyes away from the feral creature before him. No matter how hard he tried, his body was incapable of moving. The bowstring and arrow slipped from his grip as a horrible chill overcame him. Thoughts of never seeing the sun again consumed him, and his heart leapt to his throat, pounding hard.

The creature's eyes continued to pierce through Legolas. Its mouth stretched wide into an exaggerated imitation of a sneer. In its eyes there were no emotions that Legolas suspected to find, not even hatred. What, then, was the look in its eyes that sent shivers down Legolas's spine? He felt strangely weak as though his very life force was being sucked out of him. Images before him blurred. Legolas focused his eyes again and saw hunger in the creature's eyes. It was the only emotion he could sense from the beast.

Legolas wished he could cry out for help, but since he had strayed from the path the search party had been on, he didn't know how far they were separated and if they could hear him at this point. His throat burned as he struggled to utter any sound at all. His brain screamed at him to move, to run away as fast as he can, but it was all in vain. He simply could not move. Yet his mind continued to demand him to run as the creature slipped over his mother's body and slithered towards him. Its grin burned itself into Legolas's mind. His commands to himself to move faded, replaced by the creature's laughter ringing inside his head. Legolas's heart grew still from the shock: the creature had full control of his mind. He could not even close his eyes in anticipation of the attack, nor could he blink. His eyes watered and his legs wobbled.

There was a sudden flash and a cry, breaking the spell Legolas was in. An arrow flew past Legolas and struck the beast, but it seemed to have went right through it as though the creature was truly made of nothing but a shadow. It gave Legolas another sickening sneer and slipped away quickly into the dense darkness of the trees.

Legolas could breathe again. The feeling returned to his limbs. His head spun with the events that had just taken place. He vaguely became aware that cold sweat covered the length of his back. His legs shook and he would have collapsed to the ground had his father not caught him at that moment.

"_Ai, Elbereth!_"

The cries of the Mirkwood elves shook Legolas from his trance long enough to look at his mother's body, seeing for the first time the extent of the damage. The beast had been feasting on not just the blood, but also her body. Large chunks from her torso were missing, and one leg had been torn. Her eyes were closed, but the expression was that of utmost agony and terror. Not a single inch of her was left unmarred.

With a horrible cry, Legolas buried his face in King Thranduil's chest and sobbed uncontrollably, unembarrassed by his display of weakness in front of his kingdom. Everything was crashing down on him at that moment as the full realization of everything that had taken place sunk in. He wept still when he thought of how close he was to suffering the same fate. His heart froze whenever the red eyes and bloody sneer reemerged in his memory.

King Thranduil was at a loss for what to do. His son was in a dreadful state, trembling and crying uncontrollably. Legolas was gripping onto his robes with such strength that the tiny beads and small jewels were ripped from the seams. Thranduil's keen scent picked up the smell of urine, and with a lurch he realized that it came from his youngest son.

"My child, what has happened this night?" he asked gently. "What did you see?" Legolas gave no response other than crying harder. Thranduil steered his attention away from his son long enough to observe the fallen queen. He shook at the sight of his beloved wife as grief and anger consumed him.

"The spider, where has it gone?" King Thranduil demanded no one in particular. No one had moved, devastated as they were at the discovery of their queen. The rest of Thranduil and Glivereth's children were holding each as they sobbed. Thranduil turned to his guards. "Find the fiend and destroy it at once! They have plagued our land for too long! Let no beast find mercy in your hands!"

Legolas shook his head but he was unable to tell his father that the beast was no spider. In his mind the horrifying eyes never left him. He could almost see the beast still, sneering at him from behind the beech trees, waiting for an opportunity to come back for him and claim him the same way he had claimed his mother's life.

But the beast was not there. It had slithered far away from the forest by then, licking its lips and savoring every last drop of the elf it had enjoyed. It was far from Mirkwood when the elves returned to their caves with the remains of Queen Glivereth wrapped in sheets. Past the Great River of Wilderland and the Misty Mountains the creature passed while Legolas lay in his bed, wide awake and crying from the horrors he had experienced this dreadful night.

It wasn't until the creature reached the river of Bruinen that it finally stopped to rest. It continued to smack and licking its lips, savoring its catch, but soon its mind was filled with the young beautiful elf. How he craved to taste the fear from the elfling again. Bloody drool seeped down its chin at the thought of sinking its fangs into the child, and for a time the creature stayed in Bruinen, its mind obsessed over the young elf.

One night he sensed an elf nearby. The creature's nostrils flared with desire when its eyes caught long strands of golden hair gleaming in the dark. Though the elf turned out not to be the elfling, the creature could feel something was special about this elf. His body was weak, but the elf himself did not seem aware of this. He had no wound on him and his stride spoke of great health.

But the creature could feel it, this empty void just waiting for someone to occupy it. With a silent leap like a flying shadow the creature slipped into the elf's body with great ease, and neither sound nor movement disturbed the night. The only thing the elf felt was a brief flicker of wind brushing past his arm, but Glorfindel thought nothing of it as he rode back to Imladris.


	2. Chapter 1 : Midnight Confession

It was the sound of a bird that roused Haldir from his reverie. He turned his head upwards to observe a small gold and silver bird chirping happily high in the tree before him. The bird leapt from its branch, and while still singing, whirled around Haldir's head before flying off in the distance.

"He's awake," he heard someone say behind him on the other side of the flet. Moments later Orophin crouched on his knees and presented Haldir with a cup of warm soup.

"Today you are going to meet someone who will forever change your life," Orophin said.

Haldir chuckled. "Are you back to making real predictions? You haven't allowed your mind to open to the unknowns since - how long has it been?"

"Since Rúmil's third begetting day," Orophin said. "These centuries have passed so fast, haven't they?"

"Aye, they have." Haldir drained his cup and thanked his brother. Rúmil approached them then, holding bread and the steaming small pot of soup. The sun was just starting to set, her golden rays beaming deep orange hues throughout the sky.

"I heard Orophin's prediction," Rúmil said as he dipped his loaf of bread into his soup (his brothers always found this an odd behavior of his.) "I wonder what you will end up doing that will make the Orc angry enough to break your legs - or neck, if that is what Orophin meant by forever changing your life."

Haldir gave a hearty laugh which his brothers all shared. It didn't seem like the family would ever find such a thing humorous. When Orophin first learned to talk, he told Haldir that he was going to slip from a large tree and land on his bottom. Haldir had laughed at the elfling's odd prediction, adored by the serious look in the elfling's eyes as he spoke of Haldir's doom. But then later that day, Haldir did indeed slip from the steps of the largest tree in Lothlórien, and he would have indeed fallen on his backside had he not grabbed onto a branch.

"Your prediction was half-correct," he told Orophin, whose eyes had grown wide and scared. He took another spoonful of his meal before looking up at Haldir again. A smug little smile filled his apple-smeared face.

"That's why you need to listen to what I say," little Orophin chirped.

In the years that followed Orophin regularly gave Haldir his morning predictions, half of which never came to pass, much to Haldir's relief. The other half of the time, Haldir wondered if his brother was gifted with foresight like that of the Lady of Light. But then he decided that perhaps his expectations of doom had led him to subconsciously making the events come to pass, so he never listened to his brother.

When the Lady Galadriel first met them, she looked deep into Orophin's eyes and turned to Haldir, informing him to always listen to his brother. As they were walking down the steps, Orophin turned to Haldir and smiled.

"I just got a vision of a third elf walking with us," he said. One year later, the two elves were cooing over their newborn brother Rúmil.

On Rúmil's third begetting day Orophin awoke from his reverie and went straight to his parents. Haldir was also with them, and once he saw the fear in Orophin's face, he groaned.

"Another one of his crazy predictions," he thought. But this one proved to turn Haldir's blood cold.

"I just had a vision of myself pulling Rúmil's body from dozens of fallen trees. Blood covered him everywhere, and there was fire all around us."

Haldir jumped to his feet. "What ill words you speak on a morning! Stop this terrible talk at once!"

And since then Orophin abandoned his craft, refusing to allow any images to come to him; so terrible was the sight of his brother near death. His parents begged him not to abandon the practice, as they were most thankful for having a warning. But Orophin refused to open his mind again. That night he had begged them not to become afraid of what he had seen.

"It was only a nightmare," Orophin had said. "Just a nightmare after hearing what had happened to Dínendal's sister."

Haldir was silently grateful for this change. He readily believed in the gift of foresight only in Lady Galadriel. He had a hard time accepting that his own brother possessed the gift when his visions were never accurate.

Yet the change took its toll on the elf. He became sullen and reclusive, so Haldir had taken the opportunity to engage Orophin in the study of elven law, his personal passion. The dreamy Rúmil eventually joined them, and together they became guards to the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien.

Rúmil often teased Orophin in hopes of bringing him back to using his gift. But Orophin refused - initially at least. Rúmil had grown into a strong elf; any worries of him getting killed ebbed away, for he proved to be very quick and agile. After the shock had wore off, Orophin was back to making predictions, but they were never real. He regularly gave them the most frivolous warnings of doom to amuse them throughout the day, and seldom was he serious with his words.

However, this evening there was something different in his voice. The sun had long settled, and the brothers had gone back to keeping watch, their keen eyes not missing a single movement in the dense forest. As Haldir wondered what sort of person Orophin had meant, he suddenly heard a song far in the distance that steadily grew louder as the singer drew nearer. Young the elf must have been, still innocent of the world around him. But there was also sorrow in his voice, and the longer Haldir listened to him sing, the more affection he felt for the singer.

"He is traveling with others," Rúmil said, who had climbed to the topmost branch to have a better look at what went on mile away. "They are crossing the Nimrodel, and ever they draw nearer to us."

"They must be the Company that Lady Galadriel said would be arriving tonight," Haldir said. "An elf from our Northern kindred would be among them." And Haldir was looking forward to meeting the one who sang so beautifully.

* * *

When Legolas popped his head over the hole in the talan, his eyes met with soft grey eyes in the distance. This elf was holding a lit lamp that gave a silver light. There were two other elves with him, and from the little that he could see, Legolas guessed they were brothers.

"_Mae govannen_," they said. Legolas was helped to his feet by one of the brothers. After thanking him and exchanging names, Legolas's eyes turned back to the one holding the silver light, so allured was he by this elf. Deep and soulful were his eyes, and Legolas found himself wanting to look away and never stop staring all at once. The elf was the tallest and oldest by appearance, and very beautiful. Though he was only a guard, a majestic and noble aura glowed about him that brought comfort to the prince. He regarded Legolas with equal interest through heavy-lidded eyes before stepping forward. He bowed low to Legolas.

"_Gîl síla na lû govaded_," he said in a melodic voice. Up close Legolas could count each of the elf's long eyelashes, darker than the silvery hair that cascaded down his back. "Welcome to Lothlórien! Haldir is my name, and these are my brothers Orophin and Rúmil."

Legolas replied likewise, never taking his eyes from this strange beautiful elf. "I am Legolas of Mirkwood."

"Son of King Thranduil?" Orophin said incredulously. His mouth hung open, and he suddenly glanced quickly at Haldir with amusement.

"Aye, I am the youngest of the Elfking's children," Legolas said, looking rather unsettled. "I hope the tales of me have not been of the unpleasant sort."

The three brothers laughed. "We have heard only good of you, but if you wish to tell us of your past mischief we will be all ears," Haldir said, "as we have a few of our own to share." Legolas smiled, sensing something inside him lessen. Haldir motioned to the prince to sit down by the tree stem. "You look troubled."

"My entire company has been suffering since we left Moria," Legolas said. He thank Rúmil, who had just offered him a cup of warm soup. "Some of the hobbits will be up here soon."

"Lady Galadriel has mentioned them," Haldir said.

"The Lady of Light?" Legolas's eyes shone bright, and all three brothers exchanged amused looks. "I have heard much of her but I have never traveled here. But in all my life I dreamt of coming to Lothlórien. From what I hear it is far more pleasant than my own homeland, not that I wish to speak ill of it." His eyes darkened suddenly as he studied his cup. "It is still my home, even everything that has come to pass."

The brothers exchanged looks, as all had sensed the shadow inside the prince, but just then the head of a little hobbit appeared above the hole of the flet, closely followed by another, and Haldir stood up to greet them.

* * *

With Legolas's help the elves got each of the Company comfortably settled in their appropriate talans. Gimli the dwarf had refused to sleep "up in a tree" and only obeyed when Aragorn - his patience already worn thin from the day's events - scolded the dwarf for not being more grateful to the elves for their hospitality.

Haldir assigned Legolas the talan where the dwarf slept, and Legolas dutifully took his position though he was disappointed that he wouldn't have the chance to speak some more with Haldir. He watched the two Men and dwarf doze into sleep. His eyes bored into Gimli, and for a moment he felt an incredible urge to kick the dwarf awake.

"It is because of you that Haldir sent me here," Legolas thought. "Otherwise I would be with him right now. For that you deserve my hostility, but then it wouldn't be very polite of me to attack another from the Fellowship, even if he is a dwarf."

An elf approached him, and looking up Legolas saw it was Orophin.

"I will take your position," Orophin said. "Rúmil just relieved Haldir of his duties. Go to him; he's resting against the tree. I think he'd love to spend some time with you." He gave Legolas a wink. Legolas found his face turning pink, but he thanked Orophin. Unable to hide his excitement, Legolas rushed to the other tree.

Orophin settled on the same spot Legolas had been moments before and rested back, a satisfied grin on his face. "By morning the two will be utterly inseparable!" he thought with a grin.

Haldir was slightly taken aback when he saw Legolas approach him. "Is something the matter?" he asked.

"Oh! Nothing like that," Legolas said in the Silvan tongue. "Orophin told me he will take my watch."

Haldir laughed. "And Rúmil offered to take my own spot! I now begin to understand - my brothers are planning something between us."

"Like what?" There was a mischievous hint in Legolas's eyes as he sat next to Haldir with his back against the tree and his arms wrapped around his knees.

"A chance to speak of our..."

"Attraction," Legolas finished. He glanced away. Haldir chuckled and inched closer towards him. "I have heard of much stories of how elves feel once they meet the one they wish to bond with," Legolas began. "My own brothers and sister - the three eldest ones - told such lovely tales of meeting their mate, like it was a sort of dream but also not a dream, something they have never felt before."

"And will you have such a tale to tell when you return home?"

Legolas grinned. "I believe so, but I do not know if the elf in question has felt the same when we met. It would become a sad tale if my love was not returned."

"Your tale will end in joy, for this elf has fallen for the young prince of Mirkwood before even seeing his face." He moved a strand of hair away from Legolas's brow. "It was your voice which drew me to you. There is much beauty inside you, and with each word you sang I felt my heart yearning for you even more."

Legolas moved his head closer till his eyelashes brushed against Haldir's cheeks. "And what did this elf feel inside him when he finally saw the prince?"

"An awakening and a comfort, like all of this world and the heavens had fallen into harmony and everything was well in my life."

"It is the same that I have felt," Legolas said. "I feel at peace in your presence, such a peace that I have not felt in so long."

Haldir's expression changed to one of concern. "Why do you say this? Even your song held sorrow."

Legolas sighed and moved away. "The dwarf is becoming unbearable," he suddenly said. "Watching Aragorn having to scream the dwarf into obedience nearly drove me mad."

"Tough conditions can break anyone," Haldir said, crestfallen by the sudden change in topic. "I do not mistrust Gimli but by law I must not fully trust him either."

"Do you follow everything by law?" Legolas asked. "It appears you would become friends with Gimli had this law not existed. I know not what makes me say this, only that this is the feeling I get from you."

Haldir laughed. "I believe you are correct," he said. "I do not think we should have such bad relations with the dwarves when we were once strong allies and friends. To continue with this animosity when we are all subject under the same threat will only secure our doom. I must confess I was surprised but also pleased to see that you are traveling with a dwarf, despite everything else. But listen to me speaking fondly of dwarves! It is not customary for one in my position to do so. I could be stripped from my status!"

"My father would love you! Do you ever consider breaking the law, even the smallest one?"

"Laws are in place for a specific purpose, and I must value each one," Haldir said, grinning when Legolas shook his head in amusement. "Laws give our daily lives a structure."

"Ai, what sort of elf have I fallen for!" Legolas laughed. "I hated studying elven law. My king required me to, of course, as I am a prince. But I much preferred song and poetry, and listening to tales of the elves during the first age. I should thank the Valar I was born last in my family. It would have been worse had I been the crown prince. I would much rather be among the trees..." Legolas grew suddenly quiet, staring into the dark, before continuing, "than rule a kingdom."

Haldir watched Legolas. The prince continued staring out into the dark, his eyes suddenly full of fear which was soon replaced with a deep sadness. Legolas shook his head as if trying to shake off whatever thought had suddenly plagued him, and he turned back to Haldir, smiling sheepishly.

"Is there something that is bothering you?" Haldir asked.

"You are determined to pick me apart," Legolas sighed.

"There was sorrow in the way you sang," Haldir said. "Already you've become sheltered in my heart, and to know there is pain inside you hurts me as well. Perhaps if you divulged what is bringing you pain, then you will begin to heal."

Legolas was silent once more for a few more moments before speaking again. "I will yield to your request even if I do not wish to think upon it tonight," he said in a whisper. "Grief is a thick presence right now among my Company."

"I see there is much that grieves your party, but there is something that troubles you in particular," Haldir said. He studied Legolas's face with a look of genuine concern. "I have never met an elf as young as yourself with such sorrow in your eyes. It grieves _me_ to see one so young in so much pain."

"What you see inside me is ninety years of grief over my mother's death," Legolas replied softly, "and the pain plagues my heart still."

"I have heard of the tragedy of Queen Glivereth, but not of the details. I only know that her body was found mangled in the forest, but it was not a spider that had claimed her, from what I heard. No one knew who or what it was."

"I have seen her killer," Legolas blurted out before he could stop himself. Instantly regretting his mistake, Legolas's face turned sickly pale. "I do not wish to say any more. The memory alone could render me bed-ridden for a week."

"I understand perfectly," Haldir said. "But ninety years is too much time for such a young wonderful elf as yourself. Were you given any help to alleviate your pain?"

Legolas smiled sadly. "My father tried. He sent his best healers to see what they can do. They were unable to do anything for me. It wasn't until sixty-five years ago that I could even bear leaving the halls."

Haldir said nothing, but he nodded for Legolas to continue. His eyes shone bright with compassion, and Legolas thought him more beautiful at that moment. Again came the comfort that washed over him. Feeling encouraged, Legolas took a deep intake of breath before continuing.

* * *

King Thranduil sighed. It had been many years since the death of his wife. The years had gone by rapidly, and though it was difficult to cope, he had moved on to living his life as normally as he possibly could with the absence of his queen. Her death had been hard on the entire kingdom, who loved the queen. She was fair and gentle, always the heart of their merrymaking. Though the memory still pained them, all the elves had learned to move on.

All except one.

Thranduil sighed again. His son Legolas had fallen ill again; he had lost count of how many times his son fell ill during all the difficult years since Glivereth's death.

At times Legolas was close to being the innocent bright elf that he had always been, the most cheery and lively of his siblings. Though Legolas refused to leave the halls, especially at night, Thranduil felt the boy was getting better. But then a shadow would fall over Legolas and he'd retreat to his rooms; everyone who passed his rooms could hear him muttering madly. The healers could find no explanation for his maladies other than a post-traumatic shock of that dreadful night.

But the heart of a father knew better. Something from that night had stayed with Legolas. The poor child would wake in the night screaming about devils crawling on top of him. Some healers explained it away as just his mind playing tricks at him, but Thranduil suspected there was more to it.

"What did you see that night?" he would ask him always, but Legolas never gave an answer.

"Please father do not ask me to remember," Legolas muttered. His body was drenched in cold sweat. "It's horrible enough to have him come crawling back to me every night. Let me not see those eyes again!"

"Was it a man?" Though Thranduil had good business relations with the men of Dale, he well very knew that not all men were pure of heart.

"No," Legolas choked out. "Please, let me not remember it!"

And it would always end there.

His brothers and sisters came to him as well with encouragements to leave his room.

"Perhaps the light of the sun will heal you," his eldest sister Arthiel would say. She ran her fingers through his tangle of golden hair to comfort him. "Come with me, and we can sing together with Ithildis."

"Your body is becoming weak," the crown prince Dínechir would say. "You need to go outside. Come with me and we can practice our skill with the bow and arrow."

Legolas declined every one of their offers, and soon even his siblings gave up on him. He was left alone in his misery, and for weeks he remained in this state. When he would finally emerge out from his room, it was to run straight to his father. Everyone he passed averted their eyes out of respect, for the prince was unkempt and in his tangled bedclothes.

The elvenking would attending a meeting with his advisors. Upon seeing his son, Thranduil would stand up and threw his arms wide. "Legolas, my child!" And Legolas would throw himself into the comforting arms of his remaining parent, and he cried, not caring they were in clear view of every advisor who had all averted their eyes to give the royal family some privacy.

When he was done shedding the last of his tears, Legolas would ask timidly as he wiped his eyes if there was anything for him to eat. And Legolas, in his bedclothes and unbathed for weeks, would sit down among the advisors and devour everything the chef brought him.

Thranduil never asked Legolas what made him finally leave his rooms, for Thranduil was very grateful to simply have his son back. But in time the pattern would continue. Legolas enjoyed a speedy recovery, and it appeared to everyone that the terror he had seen would never haunt him again, but in time Legolas would soon succumb into illness once more.

Thranduil regularly kept his son company when there were no duties to attend to that Prince Dínechir could not handle. He came with stories of what he has seen, though he often exaggerated to make the stories more amusing. But there was one story he told in truth, and it was the most entertaining story of all: of a time when a party of dwarves and a hobbit named Bilbo Baggins came crashing in the middle of their merry-making. Legolas at first didn't believe his father, thinking the king was now creating stories just to entertain him, as he always done when Legolas was a small elfling.

"Indeed hobbits do exist!" Thranduil said, defensive. "Tiny fellows they are, about this tall."

"Those are dwarves!" Legolas shot back, and the tiniest ghost of a laughter came upon him. It had been almost thirty years since the death of Glivereth, and for the first time Thranduil could feel a terrible weight that had been inside his son finally lessen. When Legolas left his rooms that time around, he was properly groomed, and his father was standing beside him, beaming.

Two years passed and Legolas didn't have another attack though he remained indoors. Finally his siblings, sick of how pale their youngest brother looked, forced him outside by letting Dínechir, Rothlir, and Handor carry him over their shoulders.

The rays of the summer sun warmed Legolas's pale face for the first time in many years. The elf took deep breaths, tasting the fresh air. His eyes took a minute to adjust to the brightness of the scene.

"Ai, I have nearly forgotten the beauty of the forest!" Legolas said. His siblings all grinned at him. "So long as we return before sunset, I will remain out here."

* * *

"Your family is wonderful for helping you during your dark time," Haldir said. "It must have been a relief to finally be back among the trees."

"Yes, it was truly a relief," Legolas said. "Dínechir was right; my body had grown weak during the many years I stayed in my rooms, but I was able to regain my former strength. I had to be taught again how to use bow and arrow, but I relearned quickly.

"I do not know what made me well enough to go back to my old life. Was my father's story about the hobbit Bilbo - who turned out to be real after all - what helped cure my spirits, or was it something else, I do not know. But in those sixty-four years I was happy. The memory of what I had seen never resurfaced in my mind, and there was an unspoken agreement among everyone in Mirkwood to never bring up the subject."

"And what of the sixty-fifth year?" Legolas's eyes bore into his, and Haldir felt his heart ache again for he could sense fear and turmoil inside the Mirkwood prince. "There is more to the story, I take it?"

Legolas struggled to answer. "Aye, there is. That year, my father came to my room one morning and asked me - I think we woke up Frodo."

They had been speaking softly in their native tongue when Frodo opened his eyes and peered up at them.

"I apologize for cutting your story short, but I must join my brothers," Haldir whispered, his words unheard by all except for Legolas's keen ears.

"Let me join you in your watch."

"No." Haldir cupped Legolas's face in his hands. "I have kept you too long. You must rest. You've had a difficult journey." They shared a smile before Haldir got up and disappeared beneath the hole. Legolas rested back against the tree, trying his best not to think of what he had just told his new friend. He willed his mind to focus instead on Haldir's soft hands and how nice they felt against his cheeks. The thought comforted him, and soon Legolas was deep in elven reverie.

In the middle of the night his reverie was broken by the sounds of heavy feet nosily trampling on broken twigs. Down below he heard an elf utter "_Yrch!_" and he sprung to his feet, grabbing his bow and quiver. Down the hole of the talan he went.

"Legolas, get back in the talan! It is not safe here!" Haldir said when Legolas had landed on the ground.

"There are Orcs about!"

"We have just evaded them. They had picked up on the sent of your Company, but we sent them away. Orophin has gone to warn our people, but for now you must go back to the talan!"

"What creature is this?" Rúmil suddenly spoke.

Legolas visibly tensed. It had just occurred to him how vulnerable he was standing out here, even if he was holding his bow and arrow in hand. Off in the distance he saw a creature crawling up the tree where the hobbits slept all the while softly hissing. A terrible coldness overcame him for a moment, but it disappeared the moment he recognized the creature.

He turned to Haldir and Rúmil. "He's come to attack Frodo and abscond away with the ring!" Rúmil rushed to the creature. Haldir stood behind, surprised at Legolas's reaction. He was wiping sweat from his forehead.

"It is only Sméagol," Legolas said to himself, seemingly not noticing that Haldir was right beside him. "Twice he's given me false fear!"

Haldir watched him but said nothing.

* * *

Haldir studied the party. Their journey had been terrible, and his heart especially went out to the hobbits. They were not accustomed to such troublesome travels. His attention went back to the dwarf Gimli. He could sense that no evil rested inside him. He was more than willing to help him, no matter how much the dwarf hurled insults at him or gave him dirty looks. But Haldir had no power to bend the law to his own will. The dwarf had to be blindfolded; it was the law of his land.

He was considering his other options when thankfully Aragorn came to a most reasonable compromise: everyone of the Fellowship was to be blindfolded. Haldir willingly accepted it, for it was the most fair course of action.

It became Legolas's turn to become upset. Speaking kindly Haldir was able to settle him down, but the prince still looked troubled as each of the members were blindfolded. Haldir came to him last, and it was then that he remembered Legolas's confessions from the night before. He had been so engrossed on solving the matter of Gimli that he had nearly forgotten about Legolas's fears.

"Do forgive me," Haldir whispered softly. "Will this bring back your fears of the dark?"

"Yes," Legolas shot back angrily.

Haldir winced slightly. "I apologize for doing this, but I must be fair," he said. "You will not be in trouble. I will never allow harm to come to you. Do you trust me?"

Legolas looked away. "Yes. I am acting foolish."

"Your actions are completely understandable."

Legolas turned to face him again, allowing him to place the strip around his head.

"Is this hurting you?" Haldir asked gently, but he didn't need a reply. Legolas's hand had already begun to shake. "Legolas!" He grabbed his hand and rubbed it between his own. "You are safe here. The monster will never enter these woods without our notice." He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. _You are free to speak to me in thought during our journey._

Legolas took a deep breath, smelling the scent of Haldir, and a smile came to him. "I have never noticed how sweet you smell," Legolas whispered. "Like the grass after a spring rain. I will keep this memory with me during our journey." He tentatively wrapped his arms around the Silvan elf, and he moved his head till his lips were brushing against Haldir's cheeks. _Hannon le, Haldir._

Haldir returned the embrace, but he soon had to let go. Turning around he could see his brother Rúmil giving him a knowing smile. Haldir nodded and pointed to him to go to the back of the Fellowship. Haldir himself marched to the front and commanded them to follow.

True to their word, the Company stumbled not once during the journey. Haldir kept a conversation going with them; while he had accepted that blindfolding everyone was only fair thing to do, a part of him still felt guilty that they had to travel in darkness, missing the splendors of the forest. He wished also to engage Legolas in the talk, or at least to sense that the prince's nerves had calmed. His mind was fully open to accept Legolas's messages, but rarely did Legolas communicate with him.

They walked till it became dark and the night became too chilled for the hobbits. Haldir allowed them all to rest against the trees, assuring them that they will not be attacked.

He noticed Pippin tugging at his blindfold. "I am afraid you must rest while still wearing the blindfold," Haldir said. Pippin made a face but said nothing more on the matter.

"I will watch them," Rúmil whispered. He inclined his head towards Legolas, who sat alone against a tree further from the rest of the Company. His head twitched back and forth, trying to take in whatever he could from his surroundings. "I told him to wait for you there."

Haldir thanked his brother, glad to be relieved from his watch. He called out Legolas in his mind as not to startle him as he settled besides the prince.

"How are you faring?" Haldir asked in a voice too soft and silent to be heard by anyone else but Legolas.

"Not as bad as I had feared I would," Legolas said in an equally quiet voice. "Over on the Naith I felt a peace wash over me. It feels strange to be speaking to a friend while blindfolded. Can I take this off?"

"It would be unfair to the others," Haldir said. Legolas made a face similar to Pippin's. "You will find that most cities have the same rules these days. They will blindfold even their own kin."

"Even a prince?"

"Even a friend." Haldir smiled. He wrapped one arm around Legolas, ready to take his arm away if Legolas flinched, but instead Legolas leaned into the embrace. He rested his head against Haldir's shoulder.

In silence they listened to the soft sounds of the night. The tree branches swayed slowly above them as if in a trance, gleaming silver under the moonlight. The scene was breathtaking to behold, and Haldir wished Legolas would get a chance to admire the leaves of this place. But, rules were rules, and Haldir always abide by them.

"Perhaps in another time, after this dreadful war is over, I will take Legolas back here and show him the forest," Haldir thought, and this brought a smile to his face; suddenly Haldir became aware that Legolas and he had their fingers entwined together, moving about in a slow dance that, Haldir realized, mimicked the swaying of the tree branches.

After a time, Haldir spoke again. "Legolas, I do not wish to bring up any undesirable topics, but you seemed rather terrified of this Sméagol. Was he the one who -"

"No." Legolas sighed. "Though my father thought it was. My people watched over him last year when Aragorn and Gandalf brought him into Mirkwood, sixty-five years after my mother died."

"I believe you told me earlier that last year brought back memories you wished to bury."

"Aye, that is true." Legolas laughed lightly at the memory. "It began on a morning when my father came to my room and asked me a question..."

* * *

"Legolas, I know these past few years you have been recovering from a dreadful illness," Thranduil said. "But I must ask you something very important: I request you help me identify whether a new prisoner brought in is your mother's killer."

Legolas just stared at Thranduil in disbelief. "You wish me to become ill again? Never do I want to bring back the demons of the past! How could you even mention this to me?"

Thranduil took a deep breath. "Child, I understand you have been through a very painful time, but please help me with this one request. If he is the killer than I will bring him to death immediately."

"And what of how I feel? Would you disregard the pain I've been through just to avenge your wife?"

Thranduil cursed. "You have not been the only one in illness, Legolas! My heart still grieves for Glivereth! For nearly ninety years I have suffered silently! For ninety years I have been widowed without any clue of who had taken her life, and the only witness of my love's death is refusing to speak!"

The Mirkwood king had never so much as raise his hand against any of his children, even if they misbehaved on the rare occasion. So to hear his father raise his voice in such anger shocked and terrified Legolas. And then his heart ached to see his own father - the great noble elvenking of Mirkwood - fighting back tears and losing. Legolas felt selfish then; he had been too absorbed in his own illness to realize that his mother's death had affected everyone till now.

He hugged his father. "I'm sorry, _Ada_. I will take a look at this creature."

The creature turned out to be Gollum, or Sméagol as he was known in his youth. Legolas gave him one look then turned to his father and shook his head. Legolas felt relieved, but the guilt came back for Thranduil was disappointed. His eyes silently begged him to reveal who the real killer was, and Legolas decided that it was time to open up. But at that moment he realized that he could no longer remember how the killer looked, only that the mere mention of the fiend still brought fear to him.

Instead Legolas offered to be one of the guards that watched over the strange being. It had been ages since Legolas had contact with peoples other than elves, and he was curious to know about this creature. Also, he felt it was his duty to do something for his father.

It had been his idea to take Sméagol out every day to breathe in the fresh air, as he personally knew very well how damaging staying indoors was. And it had become his worst mistake. One night he was roused by the shouts and screams of his people. He ran out just in time to see an Orc strike one of the elves with an arrow. Soon, half of Mirkwood appeared to be out at war with the Orcs, which they fought till daybreak. It was then they remembered Sméagol, but the creature was no where to be found.

Thranduil was devastated at having lost much of his people. But Legolas felt worse, for he blamed himself for his people's death.

"There is not much else that I can do than sending a messenger to Elrond in Rivendell," Thranduil said one evening, looking far more miserable than his children could ever remember him. He sat with his head down, one hand rubbing his forehead. "Lord Elrond must hear of this immediately."

"Then let me deliver the message," Legolas offered. "It is by my own foolishness that Sméagol escaped!"

"But you have not left this realm in over a hundred years!" Legolas hung his head, crestfallen. "However, perhaps what you need more than anything else is to travel beyond this place. Rivendell is fair, as I am sure you remember from your youth." He studied his son further before continuing. "Yes, I think it would do you well to leave all the painful memories from here behind, and go out into the world."

* * *

"And so a week later I left for Rivendell along with a few escorts appointed by King Thranduil," Legolas said. "For sixteen days we traveled, and at nights we rested in the trees while our horses slept below us. At least one of my escorts kept watch among the horses, just for my sake, so I wouldn't be afraid. Though I had become accustomed to being outside during the nights, the fear was returning now that I traveled to lands I haven't seen in so long."

"It must have been great relief to finally reach Imladris," Haldir said. "The horror of seeing your people killed must have brought back some of the fear from that night. Even now traveling to strange lands you have never set foot in must all be affecting you. But you are well now. You are among friends."

Legolas did not respond. He brought Haldir's hands, surprisingly soft for one so skilled with a bow and arrow, up to his face and gently rubbed them against his cheeks. He had not the heart to tell Haldir that there was more to the tale even still, that the truth behind his fears had nothing to do with traveling to strange lands. For so long he had tried to avoid seeing the monster again only to find himself facing it again in a place he called his second home: he had met the monster again in Rivendell.


	3. Chapter 2 : One Look

**Author Notes:** Another very long chapter. Proof-reading it alone took so much time. :) Some thoughts on the previous chapter: hopefully it doesn't seem too unrealistic that Legolas and Haldir fell in love quickly. I have read somewhere that elves can look upon another elf and know that they are wed to another. I assumed elves can also sense who is to be their bondmate.

* * *

Legolas's heart fluttered whenever he remembered his conversation with Haldir the night before. It had given him the first true rays of comfort since Gandalf's death. He was finding it more difficult to display good spirits in front of the Company when he himself was slowly spiraling into despair. Haldir had given him just enough strength to keep up with his facade just a little longer. For the Fellowship, for his friends.

Though they walked in blindfold, Haldir had kept a friendly conversation with the everyone, even the dwarf (though Legolas noted that only silence came from Gimli.)

Legolas sighed and slipped back into his own thoughts. He marveled at how just one look could forever change someone's life. Just one look was all it took to send him into a series of illnesses for many years. Just one look was all it took for him to realize he was in love and ready to bond. And just one look was all it took to bring back the horrors of his mother's death, just one look to remind him that the monster he saw ninety years ago was still alive and well and eager to destroy him.

* * *

When Legolas jumped off his horse, he was instantly greeted by Lord Elrond himself, great among Elves and Men alike. Standing besides him were some of his counselors, including Erestor and Melpomaen.

Legolas turned to smile at his traveling companions, all who were relieved to finally reach their destination. Ithildis, youngest daughter of the elfking and elfqueen, had wanted to join him, but King Thranduil had not allowed it. This was to be Legolas's own journey, to get him to travel the land without a family to hold his hand. And though Legolas would have loved to have delivered the message to Elrond along with his sister - he was closest to her from all his siblings - he was glad to have a chance to do something by himself, to prove himself as a capable elf once more.

Elrond sent Melpomaen to help with Legolas's escorts and he approached Legolas. "I hope your journey was without danger," he said.

"It was tiring for us all, myself especially," Legolas confessed. "But nonetheless it was a safe journey."

"You are still growing strong from your illness," Elrond said. "Any journey will tire you. Tell me: does the dark still bring you fear?"

"No. Not as much as before. I seemed to have grown accustomed to it, though my party was determined to embarrass me. They wished to keep a campfire burning for the entire night, thinking I was still a helpless elfling!"

Elrond chuckled. "They do this because they care much for you, young prince. Come, let me take you to your rooms."

Legolas followed, all too glad to finally be in Imladris for the first time in a century. Memories of his childhood came rushing back as they passed house after house. It was autumn and leaves of brown and gold littered the floor. Legolas smiled as he imagined being a young elfling again, running amongst the leaves and making a big mess before rushing to his father's arms, laughing while his father gently scolded him for his mischief.

Elrond interrupted his thoughts suddenly. "Glorfindel, well met! Legolas, from all the times you have come to Rivendell, you have never met my chief counselor."

"The great elf lord and hero of Rivendell?" Legolas said, quickly interested. "I've heard much stories of -"

Just then a tall golden-haired elf approached them, and Legolas's voice died in his throat. The moment their eyes met, Legolas felt a terrible jolt of fear run past him, and in that same moment Glorfindel's eyes flashed as if he recognized the prince. Glorfindel must have also felt a jolt overcome him, for his eyes widened momentarily in surprise before his face relaxed again to his normally jovial expression. However, something inside his eyes did not change.

Legolas tore his eyes away after much difficulty. His cheeks burned.

Elrond smiled; to his eyes, the prince appeared like the many starstruck elflings upon first meeting the legendary elf lord.

"Prince Legolas, I would like to introduce you to Lord Glorfindel," Elrond said.

"_Gîl síla na lû govaded_," Legolas choked out. Glorfindel's eyes were icy blue but in them burned an intense hot hunger. He regarded Legolas closely until Elrond turned to him. As suddenly as it had happened, his eyes returned to normal.

"Ah, Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, _mae govannen_," he said, his voice sliding out like wind against ice. "It is with great pleasure that I meet the young prince of Mirkwood."

Just then one of Elrond's servants arrived to show Legolas to his room, and Legolas jumped at the opportunity, thankful for a chance to escape. He ran after the servant. When he looked over his shoulder, it was to see Elrond deep in conversation with the elf lord. Right before Legolas turned the corner, Glorfindel glanced back and the mad glint in his eyes returned.

The evening went terrible for Saelbeth and Silinde, the elves who accompanied Legolas to Imladris. A madness had struck their prince, but none could obey his wish to leave back for Mirkwood immediately. They had been arguing loudly without realizing the loud noises they were making - a very uncharacteristic thing for elves - until another elf stepped into the rooms.

"What seems to be the matter?" the elf asked. He was tall and looked rather old, which was also rather unusual for elves.

"Galdor!" Legolas ran and embraced him.

Galdor of the Grey Havens smiled and returned the embrace. He knew Legolas since he was a tiny elfling, and to Legolas Galdor was a grandfather that he never had in his life. All young souls who've met Galdor loved him, for he was very gentle and had a special gift for comforting frightened children. "It is good to see you again after so long, Prince Legolas," Galdor said. "I have heard much grievous stories of you recently, and I hope none are true. Tell me, what is the meaning behind all this racket?"

"We arrived in Rivendell only this afternoon to deliver an important message to Lord Elrond, and already he is begging to leave back to Mirkwood!" Silinde shouted out before Legolas could reply.

Galdor pulled himself away from Legolas and gave him a questioning look. "Why is that? Surely you must be exhausted from your journey!"

"He is afraid," Saelbeth said. "He thinks he saw the monster that killed his mother, and now he wants to go back to Mirkwood."

"Oh? This would be a most rude gesture to Lord Elrond, my prince," Galdor explained kindly to Legolas. "Please, stay a little longer. Do not forget why you have come here. You alone must deliver your message, as you had promised, I'm sure."

"The demon is here!" Legolas shouted back. "Why don't you believe me?"

"You've done a lot of traveling after a long absence," Galdor explained. "You need to rest."

"I cannot bear the thought of traveling another sixteen days so soon," Silinde muttered this to himself, but the sensitive ears of the other elves picked up on it. Saelbeth shot Silinde a warning look. In his defense, Silinde said, "Galdor is correct in his words. Rest for the night, prince. Your mind could have been playing tricks on you."

"I don't understand why you're behaving this way," Saelbeth said to Legolas. "Throughout our travel you were just like the elf we have known all our lives - you were becoming yourself and all was well. Maybe we should not disregard his concerns. Perhaps Legolas has after all seen-"

"It could be just his mind twisting reality," Silinde said. "Anyone in his state could become nervous at being so far from home. He just needs to become familiar with this place again."

And that settled the matter among the elves. They made to leave Legolas to his rooms, but like a child he held unto Galdor's robes.

"Please believe me!" Legolas begged. "I speak not out of madness! Don't leave me alone in my room tonight! I have truly seen the beast again! He rests within one of the elf lords -"

Galdor sighed deeply. "Legolas, listen to how you are talking," he said gently. "You are no longer an elfling; by law I cannot sleep in the same room as you. King Thranduil would never approve of this, and my punishment would be severe. However, as a long-time friend and confidant I will watch over your door to make sure no one disturbs you. My own room is just across the hall, and from where I will be sitting I will have a clear view of your room. I will not rest tonight; I have my poetry to amuse myself."

Legolas thought of the long difficult travel Galdor had endured throughout his own journey from the Grey Havens. He was far older than Thranduil, and although elves did not age as men did, Galdor was clearly an elf who had grown quite old even for elves. On his face was etched the sorrow of seeing many tragedies that had long become simply stories to young elves like Legolas. His eyes were wise unlike any elf Legolas had ever met. But he was getting tired, and Legolas knew it; he knew that Galdor had been speaking longingly of sailing to the West ever since they had last seen each other.

So to expect this grandfatherly elf to deny himself rest in order for a much younger elf to rest peacefully brought great guilt into Legolas's heart. But Legolas was also terrified of Glorfindel slipping into his room while he was unaware, so he thanked Galdor for his help.

Regardless, Legolas could not fall into reverie that night no matter how hard he tried to will it, even though he was sure Galdor was watching his door, because Galdor always kept his promises even when he himself was greatly exhausted.

* * *

The next day Legolas took as much time as possible before he left his rooms. He made every effort not to cross paths with Glorfindel while alone. Some events such as meals were impossible to attend without being in his presence, but in those times Legolas was with other elves and thus felt slightly safer. However he never attended the Hall of Fire no matter how many times Lord Elrond invited him.

After the fifth night spent in Rivendell Legolas confessed to Galdor the identity of the elf who terrified him.

"The heroic elf Glorfindel?" Galdor said incredulously. "You understand he is very known. His deeds are told in tales across Middle-earth. If there was any drop of evil inside him it would be common knowledge by now. But he was once the lord of the house of the Golden Flower. The Valar would not have allowed him back to Middle-earth if he was truly wicked."

Legolas sighed. "I know all about Glorfindel's courageous deeds. I've read the tales many times in my youth. But please listen to my words, Galdor. Something happened when I looked into his eyes. The same fear I felt when I met my mother's killer returned when I saw him."

Galdor sat down and massaged his temples. "I confess, Legolas, this is too much for me to believe. I have known Glorfindel a very long time, and he never seemed he could be capable of killing anyone innocent. I want you to be honest with me. Was it an elf who killed Queen Glivereth, one who perhaps resembled Lord Glorfindel?"

"No, it was not an elf," Legolas said. "I am certain of that although for many years the face never resurfaced in my mind. I was desperate to forget its face. But when I saw Glorfindel, his eyes changed and I remembered how the killer's eyes looked - it was only the eyes that I remember. In fact, that was all I could remember seeing of it - and it's mouth! It had long fangs that dripped with my mother's blood.

"Now that those awful eyes are back in my memory, I am surprised I was ever able to forget them. There was no emotion inside but there was great hunger and a desire to inflict as much pain as possible to me."

Galdor didn't speak for a few moments, troubled as he was with Legolas's description. "I have never heard of such fiends during all my life, but there is still much that we do not know of this world. This creature could have powers we may have never dealt with before. I wonder if it could be taking control of Glorfindel's body…because I must confess I am very skeptical that Glorfindel could ever hurt another elf. But I will keep an eye on him.

"I must also say something to you." He stepped close to Legolas and held his chin in his hands. "I don't want you to let this fear consume your actions while you are here. You are a representative from Mirkwood - remember that. As you are the youngest of King Thranduil's children, you need time to build your reputation. The news of your illness has leaked among elves of Rivendell. Do not worry," he added, for Legolas furrowed his eyebrows, "Elves are very kind with ones who have suffered ill, but remember that as prince this is not an image you would want to be in everyone's memories.

"Please remain calm throughout your visit. You have been avoiding Lord Elrond's request to join the Halls of Fire for too long. He is becoming upset with you - yes, he has confessed this to me. You have to sit with him at least once; he has taken much time to make this visit an enjoyment for you. I will be there myself if you need me. And if Glorfindel speaks with you, remain diplomatic. At this point we have no evidence of what is going on inside his mind. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand, Galdor," Legolas said. His heart sank at knowing how Elrond felt about him. "I have been acting foolish. I should be stronger than this. I cannot let my fear of Glorfindel get to me. It's pushing me away from others. It's stopping me from _living_."

Galdor patted him on the shoulder. "Precisely. You must never let fear control your life, Legolas, or you will find that you will walk this earth alone forever, and it will be a prison far more agonizing than anything anyone will ever have to endure."

* * *

The next evening a feast was held in celebration of an injured hobbit named Frodo Baggins who had been ill in the past few weeks. Legolas mainly ate without talking to anyone, lost in his thoughts. He was not unhappy, but his mind was too full with thoughts: a hobbit named Baggins and his father's story that seemed to cure him, of the merrymaking in the Hall of Fire he was to attend at last, of his home. And he wondered how long the letter his sister Ithildis was most likely writing had gotten by now before Thranduil had to make her end it.

Smiling at the thought, Legolas glanced up without any reason to, and it was then that he noticed Glorfindel was studying him from across the room. The elf lord quickly looked away and continued his discussion with Elrond. Legolas turned away, his heart pounding. A little while later Legolas looked up again in time to see that Glorfindel's eyes had strayed back to him. The familiar unappealing sensation of his heart throbbing in his throat returned; the predatory look had crossed Glorfindel's face once more, and his grin stretched wide, exposing long fangs stained with the wine he had been drinking.

Legolas turned to see Galdor, who caught his eye and smiled.

"Did you see anything?" Legolas asked desperately.

"I have been keeping one eye on him all evening," Galdor said. "Nothing has been out of the ordinary."

"Were you looking just now?"

"Yes. When I say all evening, I mean all evening. Legolas, is something ailing you?"

It seemed as though the ground was falling apart beneath his feet. Legolas studied every face in the dining hall, growing paler by the minute with every cheerful face he encountered. Had anyone seen the evil look that crossed Glorfindel's face? Legolas turned to his dish, his heart sinking. Galdor could not see it. Elrond could not see it. No one could see it. Only Legolas could see the look of sheer lust in the handsome Vanyarin elf.

"I do not feel well," Legolas said under his breath. Before Galdor could question him again, he ran from the table without a backward glance. He did not stop running until he was leaning on the ledge of the outside porch, far from the dining hall. He took big gulps of air to steady his nerves.

"Have I completely lost my mind?" he asked himself. "Have I forgotten so soon what Galdor has told me? I cannot let Glorfindel frighten me like this! I am stronger than this! I will not have him destroy my life!" And after taking more deep breaths, Legolas turned back to the hall of Elrond's house.

* * *

The Hall of Fire was comforting to be in, even with Glorfindel sitting not too far off. Legolas was listening to the minstrels sing their sweet songs while at the same time trying to catch a glimpse of Frodo speaking to an old hobbit. He was much interested to finally catch sight of Bilbo Baggins the hobbit in his father's tale.

Old Bilbo was sitting at a far end of the Hall, and he had apparently begun singing for some elves were playing music to match his words, while others gathered around to listen to to his tale. Interested, Legolas stood up to get closer.

"A rather lovely evening it is," a cold voice caught Legolas off guard. Glorfindel stepped in front of him and offered him a glass of wine. "Care to join me while the others listen to the hobbit's tale?"

"I apologize, but I must decline," Legolas said calmly. "I have an important meeting to attend to. I must leave." He spun around and headed straight for the door, knocking over an elf.

"You must excuse him!" Glorfindel laughed as he came up right behind Legolas and wrapped his arm around his waist. In an instant, a horribly painful jolt shot through Legolas's body, and he began to feel weak. "My friend here has had too much wine."

Legolas fought to keep his eyes open. With another hearty laugh, Glorfindel led him far from the Halls; soon Legolas found himself outside once more, leaning against the ledge and looking out into the valley. His heart pounded inside him.

Glorfindel was regarding him with a coy smile as he took sips of his glass.

"The wine of this valley is exceptional," he said, "though I find my body craving something sweeter. And preferably thicker than this drink." He poured out the rest of the wine over the ledge.

Legolas said nothing. He continued to gaze out into the night. There were elves about everywhere conversing and laughing, and Legolas was glad he was in their view. However, this did not discourage Glorfindel. He studied every part of Legolas without blinking. Unashamedly his hand caress Legolas's back.

"You are beautiful, Prince Legolas," Glorfindel said. Legolas turned to him, struck by the irony of what he was seeing, for Lord Glorfindel was angelic in his beauty but behind the soft blue eyes was a demon glaring hungrily back at him. Legolas glanced away; the pounding in his heart was beginning to make him sick, and every minute that passed he felt weaker still. "Yes, so beautiful, someone I would love to just sink my teeth into."

His hand moved to Legolas's buttocks, and Legolas yanked his hand away. Glorfindel glared at him for a moment, but then that coy smile returned. He moved till he was pressing Legolas's body against the ledge, and to Legolas's horror he found he could not fight back. His body was frozen, yielding only to Glorfindel's touch. From the corner of his eye he could still see elves far in the distance, but he could not find his voice to shout.

Glorfindel's hands explored Legolas's body. Legolas trembled, and his legs almost gave out underneath him. Sweat was trailing down his forehead, his breathing was hard and labored, and his sight became blurry. And still he continued to feel his life force slipping away.

"Ah, your heart pounds louder than any drum I've heard!" Glorfindel laughed. "What is the matter? I will not hurt you. I will love you, every part of you, just like how I loved your mother…yes, cry all you wish, let me lick those tears for you…you taste wonderful…my body trembles with the thought of tasting all of you. Your body will shine red under the moonlight, how beautiful your mangled body will look in the night. No one will ever find you; I will hide you deep in a dark mountain where only I can drink from your body's fountain." He licked the pointy tip of Legolas's ear and dug into it using a long fang. "Ai, yes…there nothing more I desire than to feel you ripping apart inside!"

"Legolas!"

Startled, Glorfindel jumped away from Legolas, and Legolas's eyesight returned. He saw now that Galdor was the one who had interrupted. He made no acknowledgment of what he had just witnessed. Glorfindel was watching him with something dangerous gleaming in his eyes.

"Look at the hour, Prince Legolas!" Galdor's voice broke through the tense silence. "Come, the others are expecting you for the meeting. If you do not mind, Lord Glorfindel. It's business among Mirkwood elves and myself."

"It is no problem with me at all," Glorfindel said happily, but his eyes betrayed him.

Eagerly Legolas ran to Galdor's side without looking back.

When they left and Glorfindel was standing alone at the balcony, his eyes seemed to darken then brighten till they were a soft blue hue. He stood looking around himself in confusion, wondering why and how he was out here alone holding an empty wine glass.

* * *

"I am eternally grateful to have you as a friend," Legolas said, panting as he ran back to his room. Galdor could barely keep up with him. He paused in front of his door. "Had you not stopped him-"

Galdor placed his hand behind Legolas's back but quickly moved it away. "My dear child, you're drenched in sweat! And you're shivering!" Galdor was regarding him with concern. "Lord Glorfindel is truly affecting you! I did not realize it was this bad."

"Do you now believe me, Galdor?" Legolas asked softly. "Everyone thinks I have lost my mind, but they do not understand! Only I can see the monster inside him! But even you cannot deny what you have witnessed out there! He was going to-" and he stormed into his room without another word, unable to speak it.

Galdor followed him inside. "Legolas, please accept my apology. I was ready to think your fear came from the journey's exhaustion, but now I better understand the situation."

Legolas flopped down onto one of the chairs. Hunching over, he buried his face in his hands. "It is a relief that someone finally can see through him. His hunger was becoming too strong for him to control it."

Galdor took the seat beside him. "I see only his effect on you. When I discovered him on top of you, there was no sign of lust in his eyes, nor of any danger." Legolas removed his hands and stared at Galdor in alarm. "You did not even look scared! To any outsider you two appeared to be nothing more than elven lovers in an autumn night. I did not sense anything evil coming from him. I only knew something was amiss because I knew of your suspicion. I did not even notice that you were sweating until now."

"This is terrible!" Legolas sighed deeply. "It is no wonder then that no one came to my aid. I was terrified! He creates illusions…I wonder if this is how he trapped my mother. He has probably deluded Elrond as well!

"We must inform someone before he takes another victim! But who could believe me when they only see the smiling and charismatic side of him? Not even Elrond can see who he truly is!" He groaned. "He will be at the Council meeting tomorrow! I wish not to see him!"

"Legolas, you came here to deliver a message to Elrond," Galdor said sternly. "And you are to stand by your task. I too come with news from the Grey Havens. I will sit beside you; you need not fear."

* * *

True to his word once more, Galdor sat beside Legolas during the Council meeting. Glorfindel was sitting beside Elrond, his smile as radiant as his long golden hair. Legolas avoided looking in his direction as much as he could. He tried instead to remain focused on the meeting. He knew not how many of the elves attending had known of his condition. And if they had known of his maladies, he was careful to not do anything that could hurt his image further.

Glorfindel spoke as though nothing had transpired between them the night before. He was charming to everyone around him, and it made Legolas sick whenever he thought of how this charming elf had held him down ready to tear him open.

Legolas struggled not to let the tears come. He kept his mind on the matter at hand. There were other threats endangering Middle-earth, and he Legolas was responsible for losing an important figure in the war. Galdor beside him was obsessed with the discussion, and Legolas's mind became so full of what was at store for them in the near future that he was unaware of the deadly glances that Glorfindel continually stole at him from time to time, the hunger glint unseen by all.

* * *

Glorfindel's body was on fire one moment, and the next a dead cold storm would consume him. He knew not what caused his body to behave in such a manner. At times he seemed to wander to strange places and have no recollection of how or why he got there. As he'd stand and think hard on what brought him here, the fiery thrill would fill him once more. And he would become happy, forgetting all his confusion; the world around him would become more vivid than it was possible for an elf. He felt invincible.

The hunger would return. A face of an elf so young and fair would then occupy every corner of his conscience. At night he rubbed himself against the silk covers of his bed while hissing out the elf's name, his fangs biting down on his own lower lip while imagining it was the younger elf in his mouth. In his mind's eye, the elf was withering in agony as blood trickled down from every wound caused by the deep punctures of his fangs.

But fantasies were not enough to sustain the creature. He had to have the elf underneath him. He had to claim Legolas, to take him till he could bleed no longer, to hear his screams and to revel in his fear and pain. And to drink him, to consume every drop of life inside him.

Glorfindel sat up in his bed, panting. His mind became clear once more, and looking down he gave a small cry of shock at the wet stain in his night clothes. He tentatively touched the spot, wondering what had roused such a reaction in him.

And then as suddenly as it left, the feeling returned: the hunger, the lust, the need to rip Prince Legolas apart and laugh as the elf shrieked for mercy. And lying down on his bed again he resumed grinding his hips against the mattress, his mind intoxicated with the mad desire.

With a satisfied moan, he spilled his seed for the second time.

The body of the elf lord was perfect in every way, the creature decided. A perfect body to do far more damage than he ever could alone as a phantom. To feel these hands on the elf's pure body…he had been so close the night before…

With a growl he recalled the elf Galdor. Since that night on the porch, the old fool never seemed to leave Legolas's side.

Glorfindel propped himself on one elbow and began to scheme how to get Legolas alone. "Patience, patience," he told himself. One hand trailed down his torso and up his chest. "It would be too much a risk to do anything here in any case. Even if some think the elfling's mind is unhinged, there would be no way I could cover up the bite marks even with my best illusions. I have to get him far from Imladris, far from any elven realm."

By daybreak Glorfindel had a plan. It would take time, but the wait would only make Legolas's blood sweeter to his hungry lips. It was becoming harder to keep his bloodlust at bay. There were plenty of elves he could whisk into his rooms and claim them, but Glorfindel's feeding habits didn't work in that way. He selectively hand picked his victims. Only the most beautiful, the most innocent. They were the ones whose screams were best. But in the meantime he had only the nights to let his lust take over him. In the day, he kept to Elrond's side, who he had charmed to keep their relationship open and friendly. From Elrond Glorfindel listened carefully to every word, waiting for the perfect opportunity.

Several weeks after the Council meeting, Glorfindel's true good soul and the creature's wickedness had merged completely. His smiles were only a mask to the outside world. The lust swam inside him every minute, giving him a high he could never have imagined. Others have noted the change In Glorfindel, calling him radiant and more handsome than before.

"Why not select Prince Legolas of Mirkwood?" Glorfindel asked Elrond one evening when the opportunity arose.

Lord Elrond considered the matter for several silent minutes. "This is a very curious suggestion, Glorfindel. The prince has been through a lot. He is very skilled with the bow and arrow, and his father had personally taught him how to battle with swords. However, I am not convinced he would be suitable. He is simply not as experienced as others, such yourself."

"I agree Legolas has gone through horrors, but I believe this mission can be a chance for him to grow stronger. I do not doubt he will come out of it a changed elf."

"I suppose if another inexperienced person like Frodo is going…" Elrond glanced up at him. "If he is unable to accept my offer out of fear, would you be willing to come along with him?"

Even with the maniacal grin on Glorfindel's face, Elrond was blind to the demon within him. "It would be an honor to go with him," Glorfindel said. "A darling elf he is, and I would love to know him intimately, grieved as I am by his tragic past."

"Then it is settled." And Elrond said no more on the matter.

* * *

Legolas was selected by Elrond to be among the scouts traveling with other Rivendell elves and Aragorn. For two months they traveled in search for any signs of Gollum or the Riders. They had gone as far as Mirkwood, but Legolas didn't get a chance to visit his family. Galdor went with him though the journey took its toll on him. Legolas considered asking Galdor to leave back to Imladris out of concern, but traveling in groups were safer than alone.

Thankfully, Glorfindel had not joined the scouts. Legolas had resolved to tell Elrond everything if Glorfindel tried anything again. But the golden-haired elf lord didn't seem to pay much attention to Legolas after the night in the Hall of Fire, and Legolas secretly hoped the monster had either given up or somehow left Glorfindel's body after his last failed attempt.

At last they had reached Imladris once again with tidings from their journey. Legolas returned to his rooms to find a guard standing beside his door. He bowed to Legolas when he approached.

"Prince Legolas, you have a package from Mirkwood," the guard said, and he showed Legolas a thick stack. Galdor's eyes widened at the size, but Legolas laughed.

"This must be from my sister," Legolas said. "Thank you."

His spirits, already more cheerful than two months ago, rose even higher as he cut open the package and began to read. Galdor glanced over the pages written in a tiny neat handwriting and had a good laugh.

"Blessed Ithildis!" Galdor said. "Has anything of such importance happened during your absence that Ithildis felt the need to write to you?"

Legolas shook his head. "She feels compelled to describe in as much detail as she can of every moment that has passed while I'm away. I have gone through an entire page and all she's written thus far was how everyone felt after I set off on my journey."

There was a knock on the door, and Galdor answered. "Lord Elrond!"

Legolas stood up to welcome Elrond into his room. "Good afternoon, Lord Elrond. How may I assist you?"

"Legolas, I have been thinking much of the Fellowship that is to set out for the quest," Elrond said. "There will be at least one representative from each free race of Middle-earth, and I have decided to offer you to be among the Nine. Do you accept?"

Legolas glanced at Galdor with a look of disbelief. His heart seemed like it would burst. In all these weeks he had worried for his reputation among the Rivendell elves, that he was viewed as the weak elf in the Mirkwood royal family, one who was incompetent. He had been scared that Lord Elrond's disappointment with him would never be reversed. But at that moment all the insecurities left him, and he could see that Elrond was smiling warmly at him.

"It will be my greatest honor to serve in this allegiance!" Legolas said, fighting to keep his voice from showing his excitement. His mind went to Ithildis' letter and how his own letter back home would be just as long. Galdor patted him on the shoulder, his eyes shining with pride.

"And it is my greatest honor to see you among the Nine Walkers," Lord Elrond said. "Your service will be much needed in the Fellowship of the Ring. I understand that you have gone through difficult illnesses. I apologize if I had seemed I doubted you. Nonetheless, understand that the world is very large, Legolas, and this will be the first time you enter such a journey. You won't be the only member who has never traveled far. Frodo is will be the journey, Gandalf will accompany him. You also will have a guide - not Galdor. The previous journey has been too tiresome for you. For Legolas I am considering that your guide be Glorfindel. He is a great elf from whom you will learn a great deal."

Legolas's smile remained on his face, but his mind had gone numb. Galdor's hand squeezed his shoulder. "I believe I can do this mission on my own. You shouldn't have to find me a guide. If I will only be a bother to Lord Glorfindel…"

"He expressed great interest in training you," Elrond said. Galdor squeezed Legolas's shoulder again but spoke nothing.

"Oh. Thank you." It was all the prince could think of to say without blurting everything out. Legolas only let his smile falter when Elrond was far from his rooms.

"He wishes to trap me with the fiend!" he cried to Galdor.

"Nothing has been finalized yet," Galdor said. "Do not fall into despair!"

"The fiend has tricked Elrond!" Legolas said. "He has the him completely under his thumb! Elrond cannot see past the illusions Glorfindel has created around him! Ai, the ring! He must be after it as well!"

"That is another problem all together," Galdor said. "Though I have personally not heard him say anything about wanting the ring for himself. But perhaps he may be hiding that desire from us. It wouldn't surprise me if he wished to throw the ring into the Sea only to come and take it at a later time."

"In all your watch, have you ever seen him speak with Frodo?"

"Not once. To be honest with you, as luring as the ring's power is, I have suspicions that Glorfindel does not desire it. I never got the feeling that he wants it."

"But he wants me," Legolas said. His once cheerful face was turning paler every minute.

"You need not despair!"

"But how am I to escape him?"

"Legolas, let me help you. I can think of one who will be willing to listen to us."

* * *

Galdor found the wizard sitting alone on a porch with a pipe in hand. He approached Gandalf slowly, hoping he was not interrupting him on his meditation. But the wizard looked up and gave him a warm smile.

"Galdor! _Mae govannen_," Gandalf said.

"Gandalf, good friend!" Galdor said. "How does this day find you?"

"Very well, very well. I see you have come with urgent news for me."

"Yes, I have." Galdor sat on the stone bench. "It is admittedly a strange conversation we are about to have. You see, I am much concerned for Legolas. We have both noticed that-"

"That Glorfindel has not been himself and a demon lurks within him," Gandalf finished casually. "Yes, I know that already."

Galdor gaped at him. "Well, this certainly makes the discussion a little easier! Please assure me: is Elrond aware?"

"I'm afraid the great elf lord is blind to everything Glorfindel is thinking," Gandalf said. "Glorfindel has especially protected himself against Lord Elrond so he can have more control over matters. That was what occurred to me during the Council meeting when I first became aware that something odd was settling inside Glorfindel."

"Do you know what it is that has plagued him?"

"I know not though I have my theories. The hunger in his eyes are not much different than those of any ordinary vampire bat."

"From what I understood from Legolas, his mother's killer was not a bat. A sort of phantom Legolas had described it, like a shadow that can easily slip from your grasp."

"No matter the form of the beast, its purpose is to drain blood from others," Gandalf said. "That is how the fiend lives. I suspect this particular one could possess bodies, though why it picked Glorfindel is out of my grasp."

"An elf drinking the blood of another?" Galdor winced. "Do you know of any unexplainable catastrophes that has occurred in Rivendell in recent years?"

Gandalf shook his head. "That is an unusual trait among blood drinkers. This particular creature can live a long time without feeding. I assume he had marked Legolas as his next victim, and for a very long time he's lived dormant inside Glorfindel's body undetected by even Lord Elrond himself. He was awakened only when he laid eyes on Legolas again."

"This is very grave," Galdor said. "We must inform Elrond at once! This fiend is as much a threat to Glorfindel as Legolas and all of Rivendell! Legolas and I also suspect he's after the Ring."

"The Ring is safe, I assure you. However I'm afraid to say that Glorfindel and the creature have merged completely into one," Gandalf said. "In time, if it has not happened already, the two will become so inseparable that killing one would end the other. Glorfindel will come to desire what the fiend desires. To draw attention to Glorfindel now would be a danger to everyone."

"How so?"

"It would be like awakening a volcano. No one will be able to withstand his power at that point. Consider that we have forever lost Glorfindel by now. There is nothing we can do for him. It is best to leave him wallowing in his desire for Legolas, as much as it distresses the prince. But, at the very least Glorfindel's attention is only on one victim. Everyone else is safe from him.

"Galdor, I see you are worried, but I know more of what's happening inside him than you possibly can. His lust has reached high peaks and he is becoming desperate, but even in his deepest desperation he will never harm another save for his marked victim. Though there are plenty of elves around him to seduce into death, his mind is set on only Legolas. He is a slave to his sinful desires. He will keep obsessing over Legolas until he has him, but we will not give him any opportunity to do so of course. If we take Legolas away from his sight, he will still suffer the bloodlust, but he will still function as Glorfindel in society. No one has to know of what he does in the privacy of his own rooms. Exposing the beast inside him will only endanger everyone. As long as he continues living as Glorfindel, there is nothing to fear."

"Unless you are Legolas," Galdor pointed out.

He nodded before taking another puff of his pipe. "The fiend inside Glorfindel feeds on the blood and fears of others, and he needs nothing else. He will never desire the Ring simply because of this. The only power he desires runs in Legolas's blood, and he is vain enough to think he will achieve this without a ring of power."

Galdor threw his head back and watched the clouds above them. The sense of helplessness was overcoming him. "This is grave," he kept muttering. "I love Legolas as though he were my own grandson, and it pains me to see him in this state. He was such a happy elf once. Now it surprises me that none can see the strain behind his smiles." Finally he looked back to Gandalf. "How do you know so much of this beast?"

"I've had dealings with one in my past," Gandalf replied. "I still have the scars."

* * *

It took a loudmouth wizard and two eager hobbits to defeat Glorfindel in becoming one of the Nine Walkers. When Elrond had informed Glorfindel of the names of those who will undergo the Quest of the ring, Glorfindel kept a cheerful face, laughing over the story with hobbits Pippin and Merry, but once Elrond left him, Glorfindel exploded with rage.

Someone had planned against him, he was sure of it. He stormed around his room racking his brain for who the enemy could be. Indeed in his anger he did not stop to ponder if the wise wizard could see through his illusions. Instead his mind turned back to the old elf from the Grey Havens. Of course. Galdor had stopped him from enjoying the prince on that night. He has been alongside Legolas ever since.

Glorfindel flung a vase against the wall. Getting onto his knees, he studied the broken pieces one by one in a mad obsession. He had to get rid of Galdor before he revealed him to Elrond. Mangling the old fool would rouse suspicion. It was not so easy to dispose a corpse around Imladris, for the scent would be picked up and he discovered before he could escape. He also couldn't bear the thought of leaving the body he lived comfortably in for ninety years; indeed, he couldn't understand how he had once hunted without a body.

But what to do with the elf? There were other ways to rid of him besides death. He could simply leave Galdor alone and hunt after Legolas, but what if the fool decided to speak all he knew to Elrond then?

Growling, Glorfindel ran his sharp fingers through the carpet.

The prince. How was he to take the prince under his grasp? His status in Rivendell made traveling alone difficult; far too frequently he was expected to stay in Rivendell holding counsels with other elves. He had to make do with the new turn of events. Glorfindel rocked back and forth, his eyes glued to the intricate designs on the pieces. Amazing how the vase now looked. Despite its pieces scattered all over the ground, the vase was still a complete image. It was not hard to visualize how everything fit together: the lines of a square began on one piece and continued in another.

Glorfindel suddenly leapt to his feet, a mad grin twisting his angelic face as the first ghosts of an idea came to him. He decided that having Legolas once would not be enough for him any more. Like the vase Legolas would become broken but also whole.

The elf lord set off to work immediately.

* * *

At last the day had come for the Fellowship to depart. Galdor had shared with Legolas everything he had learned from Gandalf earlier, and both had agreed to remain silent about the monster inside Glorfindel.

Legolas would be lying to say any optimism sat in his heart. He had already written a letter - far shorter than Ithildis' novel - to be sent to his father when Saelbeth and Silinde left back for Mirkwood. His eyes scanned around the peoples in the Hall of Fire who were to see them off. Galdor was in the front, and though he kept his face stoic his eyes twinkled bright. Silently he gave Legolas looks of encouragement. He had promised to meet Legolas again once the quest was over, no matter how long it took.

With a heavy heart Galdor watched the Fellowship of the Ring depart on their quest. He continued to silently pray for Legolas's well being as he stepped out into the porch, watching the Nine make their way towards the Ford of Bruinen.

"What a perilous journey awaits them," a voice behind him said. In the corner of his eye Galdor saw Glorfindel come to stand besides him. "The thought of what dangers they may face fills me with concern. Does it not for you?"

Galdor spoke nothing. But he turned to face Glorfindel, and it proved to be the worst move to make, for all it took was one look and the elderly elf from the Grey Havens was under Glorfindel's spell.

"You look much too tired, my dear Galdor," Glorfindel said, his voice as sweet as honey. "Too tired to journey back to the Grey Havens alone. I will come with you. You need to rest. To Valinor you must go, and never shall you look back to this time."

Galdor glanced back out into the valley silently, his eyes watching a spot some point far from where even their elven eyes couldn't see. Then he turned again to Glorfindel with a tired smile, and his promise to Legolas was broken. "The Sea calls to me, and I can ignore it no longer. My body has grown much too weak. It is time I sail West."


	4. Chapter 3 : A Gift For Legolas

**WARNING for this chapter**: there is a rape scene towards the end; though it is not graphic, it does focus on the emotional turmoil of going through the experience.

First couple lines spoken by Haldir were taken straight out of _Fellowship of the Ring_. Also, what with all the craziness of the new semester beginning, I hope the quality of the writing was not compromised here. :)

* * *

They had reached their destination, and when it was time to remove the blindfolds from the Fellowship, Haldir went straight for the dwarf Gimli.

"_Your pardon!_" Haldir said, bowing low to Gimli. "_Look on us now with friendly eyes! Look and be glad, for you are the first dwarf to behold the trees of the Naith of Lórien since Durin's Days!_"

He smiled up at Gimli, privately hoping this would be the beginning of a renewed friendship between elves and dwarves. But Gimli simply grunted and turned away. Sighing inwardly, Haldir went next to Legolas while the other members of the Company were tended to by nearby Lórien elves.

"The dwarf was rude to you even when you showed him nothing but kindness!" were the first words out of Legolas's mouth when he was relieved of his blindfold, and he made to confront Gimli but Haldir held him back.

"It matters not to me, dear one," Haldir said gently. "Look, he has already fallen for Lothlórien! This alone makes my heart glad." And indeed the dwarf was looking about in wonder despite himself. Legolas stubbornly tried again, but Haldir held his arm tighter, silently willing him to stay.

Sighing, Legolas's attention strayed to the beautiful golden flowers that grew beside the foot of the hills. He heard Haldir chuckle and release him.

"You have never seen the splendors of Lothlórien. Take a moment and look around yourself!"

Legolas crouched down to study the flowers while Haldir spoke with the hobbits Frodo and Sam. He motioned to them to follow him and up he took them on Cerin Amorth. Legolas watched them silently, debating if he should follow, just to be beside Haldir for his heart already ached for him seeing him so far away, his lithe form glowing under the sun. But his attention turned instead to Gimli, who settled down on the fragrant grass looking around himself, both impressed and disgusted at the world he was in.

"What does Haldir see in dwarves?" Legolas wondered to himself. "Why is he willing to befriend someone who would never consider you a friend?" He made to speak with the dwarf but quickly decided against it. Haldir may have the ability to calm anyone, but Legolas knew any conversation with Gimli would only resort to an argument, and the last thing Legolas wished was to upset Haldir.

* * *

Legolas waited until the rest of the Company had settled for the night before slipping away from their pavilion. He found Haldir washing his hands at a fountain at the base of a tall tree.

"Legolas! Is something the mat-"

"Haldir!" Legolas laughed, running up to him. "Do not worry so much about me."

"I do not wish to see anyone I love dearly in so much pain."

"No pain has plagued me since setting foot in this blessed land." He took Haldir's hands in his, looking deep into his soulful eyes.

"Come with me," Haldir said gently. He led Legolas into the deep forest away from the eyes of meddling elves. He stood against the tree with Legolas resting his head on Haldir's chest. In silence they resumed their little dance with their hands from the night before. Fingers entwined, their thumbs exploring the soft joints and knuckles of the other's wrist.

Legolas was the first to slip his hand away and bring it to stroke Haldir's chest. Haldir in turn stroked Legolas's hair, his cheek rubbing against Legolas's own. The faintest kiss he gave to Legolas right below his ear. Legolas moaned softly. Taking Haldir's chin in his hand, he gently pushed him away till they were looking at one another again. They brought their heads closer till their lips met.

Soft moans filled the forest as the two explored their mouths, deepening their kiss till the two had to move away to take in air. The barest whisper, "Haldir" came from Legolas's lips as they parted, eager to again feel his lover's lips touch him. And when Haldir granted his unspoken wish, Legolas could feel his own name leaving his lover's lips before they met again. Legolas moaned back Haldir's name, letting the word be engulfed inside their mouths, as his tongue licked the length of Haldir's own tongue, tasting every bit of him that he could.

The winds around them became colder, and Haldir felt the tinniest shiver from his love. He brought his cloak around him, wrapping him in a tight warm embrace, and Legolas awarded him with another soft moan and nibbling of his lower lip.

Haldir laughed lightly. "I was worried you would deny me for being overprotective."

"I would never refuse your embrace," Legolas sighed. "Hold me as tight as you can. I will always yearn for your strong arms around me. Hold me, Haldir. I love you. I love as the budding flower loves the rain that awakens it at the twilight of winter."

Long lashes fluttered against Haldir's cheek and their kiss deepened. They moved closer till their chests were pressed against one another and they could feel their hearts pounding, muffled by the layers of their clothes.

The sound of singing, first too far for them to hear, had finally penetrated the forest. It was a lament for Gandalf, and Legolas pulled himself away from Haldir.

"The words are too terrible to hear," he said. "It fills me with guilt to be here holding you when one of my Company had suffered such a horrifying death."

Haldir held him close. "Be not filled with guilt for a deed you had no control over. Your heart breaks for him, but you must not forget that life continues. See the dying flower over there, surrounded by blossoming _niphredil_? This pattern will continue till the end of this world."

"I need but a few words from you to find comfort. Would I had met you while I grieved for my mother!" Sighing, Legolas nuzzled under Haldir's chin. "It seems I would forever grieve over someone."

"Such is life," Haldir said. "We are forever bond to this earth, and death we shall witness to all we care for while our own bodies will stand unchanged by time. But this burden is not just yours to bear. I too carry this burden, as every elf you will meet throughout your life."

"What have you seen to bring you burden?" Legolas asked softly, resting his head against Haldir's chest. Haldir responded only with placing a kiss on the top of Legolas's head. "My father carries the burden of losing his wife. I was so lost in grief that I never knew that he too suffered."

"So now you see, this burden you will not carry alone," Haldir said. "In time you will find ways to rest your heart enough to still enjoy the splendors of this world.

"Soon I will need to return to my watch with my brothers. In the meantime you must go back to your company. We are deep in the night and I wish not to alarm your friends by keeping you here. I will watch over you if you wish."

"Rest among us," Legolas said. "Let us give ourselves comfort again tonight."

"I have a talan where I rest in, not too far from here."

"Take me inside with you!" Legolas gave Haldir a little squeeze and looked up, a small coy smile on his face.

As calm as Haldir normally was, the last words spoken and the look Legolas was giving him sent a bashful flush on his cheek. His bright eyes sparkled as he chuckled. "Legolas, patience please!"

Legolas rubbed his nose against Haldir's own. "I am ready to bond, love."

"As is myself," Haldir confessed. "But please...there is so much happening, so much grief. I wish not for your memory of our bond to be surrounded by the grieves of war."

Legolas moaned softly, pressing himself against Haldir again. "I will go back to my men, but I wish not for this to be our last moment together."

"It will not, for the longer I spend here with you the more reluctant I am to let you go." Haldir smiled. "Soon I must return to my watch, but before that day comes I wish to spend all of tomorrow with you. Do you think we can meet before the sun reaches the peak in the sky?"

Legolas's eyes widened with joy. "Yes! I see no reason why I cannot join you!"

"Wonderful! And if you can bring the dwarf Gimli with you on this next visit," Haldir said encouragingly. "There is someone I think he would enjoy seeing."

"Who would know Gimli in Lothlórien?" Legolas asked but he held to his promise.

* * *

Gimli studied Legolas's back as they made their way to the gates of Lothlórien.

"Why again did you request me to join you?" he asked. "I would be lying to say that I was not surprised when you invited me this morning." And he wasn't the only one. Every member of the Fellowship had given the pair an odd look when Legolas had approached Gimli that morning.

"Haldir wants you to be with us," Legolas said. "For what reason, I know not." He glanced down at the dwarf with a hostile look. "Though if it were up to me, I would have preferred you not to join us."

"The feeling is mutual," Gimli grumbled.

Haldir was waiting for them away from the gate guards, beaming when he saw the strange pair.

"Good morning! Gimli, I am so glad you joined us!" Haldir said, bowing to the dwarf. Gimli just snorted and threw curses under his breath. Legolas glared at him. Haldir, on the other hand, simply ignored the rude words.

"I have received permission from Lady Galadriel to leave my post for today," Haldir told Legolas before returning to Gimli. "She agreed with me to take you to meet someone."

"The Lady herself requested that I join you?" Gimli's face instantly lit before his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Or perhaps this is a trick."

"Oh, dear! No trick at all!" Haldir laughed. "Come! Both of you will find this visit a great joy!"

Legolas and Gimli shared a look before following Haldir. A million questions spun in their heads.

They had past many trees when Legolas leaned into Haldir and whispered, "Where exactly are you taking us? Does the Lady of Light request to see us together?"

"Unfortunately that is not the case, though I am sure Gimli would love to see her again." Haldir chuckled.

"Then where are you taking us? Do you plan some mischief for the dwarf?" Legolas could not stop the hope from showing in his voice.

Haldir gave a hearty laugh that earned him another suspicious look from Gimli. "Oh, no! Dear Legolas, I wish you both to meet my father and mother!"

* * *

Thavrondir and Ullenn lived humbly and had no furniture fit for such a royal elf to sit on. Had Haldir and his brothers never studied law, they would have held no status in society; nonetheless, the elderly couple had never asked their children for money, content only to live off what they could make with their own hands. Rarely did they ever meet the Lord and Lady, so ever nervous they were to have a prince in their humble little home, for they had lived their entire lives as commonly as an elf can.

Legolas had sensed the tension evident in Thavrondir and Ullenn's nervous smiles, but he was kind to both, embarrassed that his own status brought them such discomfort. It was hard not to like Haldir's parents, but his heart particularly ached for Ullenn, for he could see much sorrow in her soft grey eyes.

Gimli sat with them in silence in the beginning, as uneasy as he was among elves as the first night. But once the sweet yet skittish Thavrondir learned who Gimli's father was, his face lit as he exclaimed in the Common Tongue, "Dear Glóin! Tell me, how fares he these days? Much has his brother Óin companied me during his youth!"

Gimli was taken aback, but soon a conversation carried between them, hindered only by language barriers, for Thavrondir had not spoken in the Common Speech for many years.

"Perhaps this is where Haldir got his love of dwarves," Legolas thought, watching the exchange in amusement. Most of the tension in the home had subsided. A change came over Gimli; he was smiling and talking more freely, and ever did he praise Lady Galadriel in the company of the two elves with such abandon that startled Legolas to hear one speak fondly of someone who was already bond to another.

But Haldir's parents were greatly kind to Gimli, even chuckling at his infatuation for the Lady of Light. Legolas's heart warmed at the sight, for he could see how Haldir was their son, gentle and nonjudgemental. And soon not even stubborn Gimli could deny the kindness of elves, and though he understood little of their tongue, he talked merrily all night as he went through their wine while Haldir functioned as a translator for both parties whenever they needed his aid.

Legolas was also enjoying himself as much as he could though his heart still grieved for Gandalf. Ullenn seldom spoke, though every look she gave him was filled with affection.

Gimli had drunk himself into a stupor, and Haldir and Legolas were planning on carrying Gimli back to the pavilion where the Fellowship slept, but Haldir's parents, both greatly endeared by him, allowed for him to sleep in their home.

The sky had turned very dark when they bid Thavrondir and Ullenn a good night. For a long while they walked together, hand in hand, under the silver stars and up a hillside till they reached a tall tree.

"My talan," Haldir said. "I share it with my brothers when we are too far to rest in our parents' home. Come!"

Legolas loved Haldir's comfy little home the moment he laid eyes on it. It was rather simple - suggestive of the little time the brothers slept here - but it was comfortable, cozy, and very Haldir. Legolas took joy in simply looking around, wanting to take in as much of Haldir's life as he could. Books were filed on many shelves that made up most of the walls, and some were lying on the floor. He settled down on a small furniture beside a window, looking out.

"Haldir, is that Mirkwood?" Legolas asked.

Haldir peered over his shoulder. "The farthest south of your kingdom, yes. In the years passed I've watched the realm grow darker, and always I wondered how we could help our fellow kin."

"You lived so close to me," Legolas said as he studied the ill trees of his father's kingdom. "Had the Dol Guldur not existed we may have met earlier, far earlier. I have never even traveled south in my own kingdom, as perilous as it is!" He turned to face Haldir. "Have you ever been to Mirkwood? It makes me wonder if we had passed one other before, or I had been bedridden when you came last to pass a message to my father and never saw me!"

Haldir laughed. "Unfortunately your great king has little relations with the Lord and Lady of Lórien." He stroked Legolas's rosy cheek with a gentle hand. "But in truth we have met on many occasions. In a dreamy night such as this we would meet halfway between Lórien and Mirkwood. So beautiful was this apparition that came to me every night, a face fairer than any elf that ever lived, hair like a shining star. And in his eyes I could see the cosmos, so deep were they, full of wonder, innocence, and sadness." As Haldir spoke his fingers found a path over Legolas's jawline and down his slender neck before retracing back his path.

Legolas's eyes twinkled in the dark as he leaned into the touch. "You have great imagination, my friend. You must write beautiful poetry."

"I am not a poet, but I have sketches here that, if you wish, I can show you."

"You're an artist?" Legolas sat up, interested.

Haldir nodded and left for his room. He came back carrying a thick book. Eagerly Legolas opened to the first page, and his breath was stolen by the first sketch. Though Haldir drew the scene in graphite, Legolas felt he could step into the picture and smell the many scents of the forest.

"So this is the reason for your hands being too soft for a warrior," Legolas said, admiring each piece. With every turn of the page, Legolas brought the canvas closer to him, studying each detail in awe. There was not a single flaw to be seen. The sketches of young Rúmil was everything that the dreamy elf was, Orophin with the enigmatic air about him, the forests of Lothlórien like a living song. And there were places he had never seen before, each one a place Legolas wished he could have visited with Haldir.

"Every stroke of your brush was done with great purpose. It reflects everything else about you and your mannerism: each moment is rendered with such meaning. There is much love for this world that rests in your heart! Ai, if you could pass this great love into me, I would never find a reason to grieve! I could never create something of such beauty as this!" Legolas looked up in awe, but Haldir did not respond. Shyness had overcome him after seeing Legolas's reaction to his works. With a gentle laugh, Legolas kissed Haldir's cheek.

After some time Haldir motioned to Legolas towards the bedrooms.

"Do you invite me to your bed?" Legolas asked with a brightness in his voice that only made Haldir more bashful. Without waiting for an answer, Legolas located the bed that Haldir slept on and prepared himself. Haldir stepped into his room, noting that Legolas had already made himself comfortable in his bed; the prince smiled shyly at him.

"I do not mean to be- if this is-"

"It matters not," Haldir said, chuckling. "Please, stay where you are. I do not think Orophin would be comfortable with the thought of his brother's future bondmate sleeping on his bed, and beside I believe my bed can hold us both."

He prepared himself, conscious of Legolas constantly glancing at his body, before he slipped into bed beside the prince. The bed was enough for them both to rest, but it provided little space between them. Legolas took this as a chance to bring Haldir closer for a kiss that deepened quickly as he groped around Haldir, squeezing him in a tight embrace.

But Haldir gently fought against him and held him back. "Not tonight," he said, his voice slightly husky. "Please."

Legolas sighed. "For how much longer must we wait till we bond?"

"At least till the war ends," Haldir said. "It is true that bonds can be accomplished in the midst of wars, but Legolas I wish for your father to know at the very least. You deserve a beautiful ceremony for your bonding."

Legolas plopped back down on his side of the bed, disappointed. Few words they exchanged after that. They held each other in their arms as they slipped into reverie.

Sometime in the early hours of the new day Haldir awoke. He turned to the beautiful young elf beside him. Haldir's eyes radiated with only the tenderest love, and his kisses soft as his gentle demeanor. Each kiss filled him with a deep longing to take Legolas and make him his life's mate, but he had to discipline himself. He treasured Legolas too much to hastily bring about their bond, no matter how much his soul begged to unite with Legolas.

Haldir loved Legolas too much to let this war force them to bond in such conditions. There will be a ceremony once they have received King Thranduil's blessing, a ceremony filled with dishes of every kind. Only the best minstrels would be allowed to play, and all around them would be nothing but the plants and flowers that Legolas personally loved.

"Since when have I obsessed over ceremonies of such grandeur?" Haldir asked himself and grinned. "Would I even have the gold to support such festivity?" He turned to Legolas, spooned around him with his large eyes wide and unfocused. Even in his reverie his eyes shone with sadness and a vulnerability that made Haldir wish to protect him from all harm. In them also was a silent begging to take him.

And it was this desire that was making it agonizing for Haldir the more he dwelled on it. He brought his face closer for another kiss, just a gentle kiss. But the moment his lips touched Legolas again, the soft lips parted and Haldir's name escaped in a whisper, and soon Haldir was kissing Legolas deeper than the night before, his body pressing hungrily against Legolas, pinning him to the bed. And Legolas was holding him tight, his fingernails digging into his skin, begging him to go further.

Haldir was only happy to oblige, having lost all sense of self-control. Though he had never engaged in the act, his body seemed to understand how to move, grinding his hips hungrily against the prince. He rocked on top of Legolas as he played with Legolas's hair, slipping his fingers through the golden tresses, spreading them around Legolas's head like a halo. Legolas responded by untying the silver braids of Haldir's hair - "You still kept these on?" - and taking a couple strands to lightly brush around the elf's cheeks.

Legolas had spread one leg away from his body without his knowing, absorbed as he was in simply kissing and loving Haldir. The two gasped and deepened their kiss each time they felt a tiny spark go off deep inside them, of their souls getting closer to forming the bond. Haldir was lost deep in Legolas's mouth, tasting every bit of him when a tiny voice grew louder in his mind, and he suddenly pushed himself away from Legolas.

"No! Please, this is not the night for us to bond!"

Legolas stared at him in complete shock before a look of rejection shone on his flushed face. He spun around so his back was facing Haldir.

Haldir felt guilty instantly; he kissed Legolas's shoulder. "What elf would I be to bond with you now and not make this an enjoyable memory for you? You have been through so much. I wish to bring you joyous memories to hold on to forever."

There was a long silence before Legolas finally responded. "I would be most happy if the memory held only me and you in your talan. But now I begin to wonder if I am truly in your heart."

A crushing pain came to Haldir. "I love you deeply," he said. "I love you so deeply that I want every moment of your life to be filled with happiness, for you've seen too much misery in your youth."

Haldir contemplated trying again, but the mood had cooled enough that he felt guilty if he tried to kiss Legolas. An awkwardness fell between them before Haldir got an idea. He left the bed to search through his cabinets, and his return brought with him another sketchbook and a few drawing supplies.

"What do you wish for us to do?" Legolas asked.

"We don't have to wait for our first bonding to create memories." Haldir gave Legolas a graphite. "Let me teach you some basic techniques of shading."

A smile came to Legolas, and for the rest of the night the two lay side by side taking turns working on their shared drawing.

* * *

Haldir was scheduled to leave for his post, but with Legolas in Lothlórien it was difficult for him to remain with his brothers for long. Legolas had taken to bringing Gimli with him everywhere he went, and they often visited Thavrondir and Ullenn, for both had become a part of the family.

After that night in Haldir's talan Legolas never slept with the rest of the Fellowship. He met Haldir half-way towards the north borders, and the two would go off to any uninhabited talan to spend their moments together.

Haldir made the trip to Lothlórien far more times that month than ever in his life. It was a two-days's walk from the north borders to the city, but being far from Legolas for too long brought him grief. The other elves who saw him teased him, but in truth all the elves were glad of this development. Rarely was there news that merited merriment, but their happiness was only dampened by the knowledge that the young lovers had not yet bonded, for the signs of their bond was not yet in their eyes.

Legolas had grown more disciplined where bonding was concerned, for he wished to be compliant to Haldir. Nonetheless at times he would terribly wished he would be united with Haldir, for the pain of being too far from him for long was unbearable.

"It is common in young elves new in love," Thavrondir assured him, laughing heartily when Legolas made his confession.

The Fellowship hadn't noticed this change in Legolas for they were stunned to see the elf and Gimli talking more with each other as though they were friends since childhood. But the watchful eyes of Aragorn did note the brightness in Legolas's eyes as the grief deep within was lessening every day. But it was not just Legolas who's spirits were healed in the blessed realm of Lothlórien, for nearly every member of the Fellowship seemed happier than the day when they first set foot in this land.

To Legolas's dismay, the day had come for the fellowship to depart. The month spent in Lothlórien had changed him, though the other members of the Fellowship could not explain why for none had known of Legolas's past. But they welcomed his smiles which seemed more radiant than before. Even when faced with leaving Lothlórien, something inside him seemed lighter, and when Haldir suddenly showed up with the news that he was personally taking them to the south borders, Legolas's smile glowed brighter than ever before.

"Wonder how having a lovesick elf among us will affect our mission," Pippin whispered to Merry as they watched the prince talking with Haldir, looking away only when an elf came to Haldir with a message from the Lady of Light.

* * *

"You wished to speak to me in private?" Haldir asked, bowing as he stood before Galadriel's room. She smiled and motioned him to come in.

"I have been working on Legolas's gift to give to him when it is time to depart," she said. "I would like your opinion as someone who is very close to him." She picked up the object from her dresser and brought it before him. Haldir could not hide his astonishment at the beauty of the bow. No bow had he ever seen such wonderfully crafted, and he told her so.

"But, my lady, it is still without a bowstring," Haldir said.

"It is the only piece missing," Galadriel said. "And that is the real reason why I called you. I wish for the bowstring to come from your own hair."

"From me?" Haldir chuckled. "My lady, normally it is elf-maidens from your house who give a piece of their hair for bows. Why would you ask this from a simple guard?"

"I think we both know the reason to that, Haldir son of Thavrondir," Galadriel said, smiling. "Legolas would love to have you beside him, even if it's but one strand of your hair."

"Then I will glad give it," Haldir said. Galadriel plucked one strand from his hair and thanked him.

"Haldir," she called out when he was about to leave. He turned around, noticing that Galadriel seemed to be struggling with something inside her.

"My Lady?"

Galadriel shook her head. "Go back to Legolas."

* * *

They reached the shore, and while the elves helped the fellowship load their boats, Legolas took Haldir by the hand and led him a away from the others. He cupped Haldir's face in his hands and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

"With a heavy heart I must leave you," Legolas whispered in Haldir's ear. "My heart shall weep until it sees you again."

"Be careful in your journey," Haldir said as he returned the gentle kiss. "May all stars shine upon your path."

"We will reunite again after the downfall of Sauron."

Haldir nodded and with reluctance they departed. As Haldir watched their boats sail away from the shores of Lothlórien, a small feeling of dread swallowed him, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. Elrond had specifically chosen Legolas to go on this journey, and Haldir had utmost trust in Lord Elrond's judgement.

He turned around and locked eyes with Lady Galadriel. Her face held no sign that she had witnessed the exchange of kisses between the two elves.

Haldir bowed to her and moved away.

"Haldir," she called out, and her guard stopped. "Celeborn and I would like to have a final feast with our guests for we have yet to do so. Would you care to join us?"

Haldir turned to her with an amazed look. Galadriel simply nodded to him and motioned him to follow her.

* * *

Haldir felt self-conscious dressed in only his traveling clothes when the other elves attending were in their finest robes, but he was ever so grateful for Galadriel allowing him to witness the giving of the gifts to the Fellowship.

After Merry and Pippin were given their gift, Galadriel next gave Legolas his, and all of the elves attending in the feast looked upon his gift with slight envy, for it was the most magnificent bowstring ever crafted in Lothlórien.

"This bow is like the ones used among the Galadhrim. It is longer and stouter than the bow of your king's land," Galadriel explained. "I attached a single elf-hair upon this bow." Legolas glanced at Haldir with a private question. Galadriel smiled knowingly. "You will find this bow to be your greatest strength on your journey."

And she said no more on the matter, but Legolas continued to examine his new bow, stunned by its beauty. It was smoother than any bow he's ever touched; not a single splinter stuck out. And Haldir's hair was strung about it; running a finger through the single silver strand, Legolas glanced back again at his love and smiled.

When the Fellowship were preparing to leave, having said their farewells, Legolas took a _niphredil_ and weaved the flower around the base of the bow. "This flower is my chastity which I will gift you after our quest is completed," Legolas whispered to Haldir. They had moved off to the side for their final words.

"I await seeing you once more," Haldir said. He needed to thank Lady Galadriel for offering him a chance to remain longer with Legolas. If he could, he would have Legolas remain and for them to wed, to bring the celebration the other elves dearly wished to witness. But Haldir had no control over matters in Middle-earth, but as he bid Legolas a safe journey, he knew that had he had the power to change anything, he would wipe all evil from the world before he would even ask Legolas to wed him.

But he was simply a guard, and one who had pushed limits of societal bounds for too long during the Fellowship's stay. After the boats would disappear over the horizon he would go back to his watch in the North and resume his old life until Legolas - the pure star of his world - was reunited with him.

He was unsurprised to find that his heart ached for having to resume his watch, so joyous were the days when Legolas was with him. But he had a duty to fulfill, just as Legolas had. He turned around to see Lady Galadriel, and he was struck by how familiar this looked when they first crossed one another.

"You will miss him," Galadriel said.

Haldir nodded. "His journey will be dark still, I am certain, but he will walk away from this war in wellness."

Galadriel did not answer for a moment. "You will be reunited with him," she finally said when Haldir looked at her questioningly. "Sooner than you may expect."

Haldir smiled and nodded again. "This is good to hear," he said. "I have treaded on your generosity for too long. I thank you for all you've done for me. I will return to the North tonight," he said, and he made to leave, half-hoping that Galadriel could call him back for another chance to be with his prince.

But she never called him back. His journey back to the North was painful, for every step brought back memories of Legolas. But he kept the Lady's words in his heart, that their reunion could be far closer than he had thought. However, he had never stopped to think of the implications of those words, as optimistic as he was for the future. Indeed, had he been with his brothers he would have caught the conversation that now went between them.

"You mustn't tell Haldir," Rúmil warned his brother. "We must instead pray this doesn't come to pass."

"If it were me I would wish to know," Orophin said. "Except I cannot give warning when I do not know the details. I only know that I fear something dreadful is about to happen to Legolas."

"Focus. Does any image come to you? Do you know where this event is taking place? Perhaps it's not too late to warn-"

"It would take us four to five days to reach the south and by then the Fellowship would be far from our reach," Orophin said. "And nothing is coming to my mind. This is the first time I experience something of this sort. My heart is pounding as though I were about to face an invincible beast." He rested back against the tree, breathing deeply to steady his heart. Rúmil looked on in worry but said nothing more.

"All we have is to pray for him."

* * *

Legolas spoke merrily with Gimli throughout the ride down the Anduin. His heart still sang with joy at the beautiful gift Lady Galadriel had given him. He kept turning to his new bow, thinking that he needed to keep the flower somewhere safe where it would not be crushed. His eyes turned back to the bowstring - to Haldir's hair - and his happiness grew.

Night fell, and his mind was still intoxicated with the events of the past month, giving him a sense of peace and joy that he had known for a very long time, indeed a carefreeness he had not felt since his childhood.

Suddenly there was commotion among the other Fellowship. They were being followed. Legolas caught sight of something stirring among the low branches of trees behind them. He gave an alarm to the Company, and went to strike an arrow right at the beast, when in a blinding flash he was struck, knocked unconscious. And none of the Fellowship had seen what had happened, for one moment Legolas was among them and next he was gone.

"Something's taken him!" Merry's screams filled the night. Aragorn and Boromir jumped off the boats and chased after the attacker, but it proved worthless. They lost sight of the attacker and Legolas. Boromir was cursing under his breath, looking this way and that. Aragorn's eyes had caught something on the ground like golden strands darker than Legolas's hair. He crouched forward to take a closer look when another scream alerted them that the hobbits were still in danger. Gimli's axe was no match against several Orcs at once.

"We cannot leave them!" Aragorn said. "Come! We will look for Legolas after the rest are safe!"

* * *

Legolas's head spun with the sheer force of the speed they were going at. He gained consciousness enough to struggle against whatever had been gripping him, but moving was incredibly hard. His heart was pounding inside his chest. But why his body was reacting in this way, he did not know until when finally is seemed he could take no longer of the torturous speed, he was flung onto the earth with an incredible force. A terrible sound told him that a rib had cracked. Someone turned him over onto his back, and his mouth hung open in dread.

He was looking into the devilish eyes of Glorfindel. Long gone were the icy blue eyes of the former elf lord; in their place was the same maddening lust-filled eyes that haunted Legolas since his mother's death. He made to escape, but he no longer had control of his body. He was frozen on the ground trembling with terrible fright.

Glorfindel pulled out a small vial from his pocket, and uncorking it, he forced it down Legolas's throat.

"For so long I desired you," Glorfindel said in a low voice, his own breaths ragged from the anticipation of finally getting to taste the prince. "For far too long you evaded me. But look! You are here in my arms, as you should be! Some have sought to bar the way between us. The meddlesome fool Galdor. I was kind with him. I journeyed with him back to the Grey Havens, for he was too tired to make the trip alone. I helped him onto the ship to take him to Valinor, then I pushed him off before the ship could sail! Forever shall his bones lie in the Sea!"

A strangled cry came from Legolas, glaring at Glorfindel with all a look mingled with rage and horror. But he could not strike the elf lord, as Glorfindel's powers still rendered him immobile.

"How unlike your mother you are!" Glorfindel laughed coldly. "So obedient she was…but it matters not to me! The struggling only makes your blood sweeter to my lips!"

And a gasp tore from Legolas at the transformation before him, for Glorfindel's teeth grew into long strong fangs. Before he could dodge him, Glorfindel lunged at him, sinking his fangs deep into the ivory flesh. Horrified screams filled the air as Legolas's felt his entire body jolted with a pain he had never felt before. He could almost hear Glorfindel's cold laugh in his mind as his blood was drained from him. He could almost smell the pure hatred and pleasure Glorfindel was getting from making him suffer.

Glorfindel was growing more frenzied with each suck of blood. His hands roamed all over Legolas's body in ways that left a sick feeling boiling in Legolas's twisting stomach, but no matter how hard he tried to fight against the grip, he could not break free.

With his fangs still dug deep in him, Glorfindel pinned Legolas to the soft earth and tore his clothes off. A feral madness danced in his eyes, turning a vivid red as he ripped Legolas's leggings apart, digging sharp nails into his thighs.

Legolas couldn't tell if the screaming was coming from his mouth or his mind. The terror was so great that he could see nothing more than the once-elf that straddled him, and he desperately cried out for his father, for Haldir, for _anyone_ to rescue him as he tried to fight off hands, unnaturally strong for an elf, continually tore through his skin, releasing more of his blood.

But the worst had yet to come, and the moment _it_ began, Legolas wasn't even aware that he was shrieking. The pain blinded him from what little else he could focus on. The screams continued to rip through him, begging for the end to come. He could almost see the stars above Glorfindel's shoulders dim out and he kept screaming for them to come back, at least to hold him, tell him that everything will be fine again. Instead all his body felt was a foreign sensation that brought the sickness rising from his stomach into his throat. This feeling was the worst of all for it was the most pleasurable, this strange sensation that threatened to spill the contents in his stomach.

More terrifying still was how he seemed to absorb every emotion spinning inside the Vanyarin Elf; the hatred, rage, and sickening lust and ecstasy at tormenting him…these all suffocated the elf. Never had he been the center of such pure hatred, and the sensation brought about tears, his body trembling, cowering under the raw emotions.

Finally the ordeal had ended though the pain still remained inside Legolas far after Glorfindel removed himself from him. Legolas's body had become completely immobile, his arms lying limply on his sides. He looked up to see the enraged look in Glorfindel's face. He squeezed his eyes shut, dreading what was next. His heart pounded painfully hard in his chest.

Glorfindel grabbed him by the hair and yanked him into a sitting position. "Look at what you've done to me!" he hissed. "You disgrace of a prince tempted me to you, and look! Look at the damage you brought upon us!"

Legolas reluctantly opened his eyes, unable to stop the tears from flowing. His violated body was covered in blood and another substance he had never seen in his life but perfectly knew where it had come from. Whimpers escaped him, quickly followed by a fresh flow of tears. His face burned red at the disgust, fear, and rage that swirled inside him.

"Filthy little whore you are!" Glorfindel continued, pointing to the white liquid smeared on Legolas's abdomen. Legolas couldn't keep his eyes off the parts of him that had betrayed him. Bile rose up in his throat once more, and still his body racked with uncontrollable sobs.

"You see how much you enjoyed it? Do you? And all in tempting me into your wretched body! For this you deserve an eternity of agony!" Glorfindel grabbed Legolas's hair by the roots and shook him with such force Legolas thought his neck would snap. And he prayed that it would, for this to grant him death, to leave this bitter world. But instead he was pushed back to the ground.

Breathing was becoming harder. The agonizing pain and the heavy crying took all of his strength. His eyes scanned the stars, so cold and dim among the bleakness of the night sky, and he yelled out for Mandos to take him into his Halls. But no matter how long he screamed, how hard he begged for his mother to come for him, still his heart continued to beat.

"Why do you deny me?" Legolas mumbled under his breath.

Glorfindel laughed, his rage suddenly gone. "The vial I gave you contained a special drink I have been concocting only for you. You see, I have yearned for you for nearly a hundred years, and it seemed not fair that I get to taste you just this once. No, I deserve more. I wish to have you every night, and I have granted myself thus!"

Legolas watched him in silent dread. His already pale face had turned deathly grey at the words. He spoke no word, and no more tears fell, as his eyes studied their surrounding, numbly taking in the world around them. Once green and beautiful they once were the trees now seemed to mock him. He would remain here in this cold earth forever to feed Glorfindel of his bloodlust.

A long slender hand snaked through his torn abdomen, smearing as much blood in his hand before licking each finger clean. Legolas no longer protested, so numb he had become though the fear continued to pound in his heart. He suddenly remembered Haldir's gentle smiles and tender caresses, and a choked wail left him before he finally broke down. He screamed and ripped at his hair, pounded on the earth and shrieked for the Valar to relieve him of his wretched body.

Glorfindel laughed at watching the elf's tantrum. How he enjoyed drinking in his victims' fear, but most enjoyable was watching the mental breakdown of ruined elves. He casually wondered how far he could take Legolas before breaking him completely, if it was not already accomplished.

He strolled to where a pile of Legolas's torn clothes and other materials lay scattered.

"Oh, look at this," Glorfindel said in a cold imitation of a sweet voice. "This was the bow Lady Galadriel made for you. And it has a piece of Haldir's hair. This is so sweet, you must treasure this bow very much." And with a bright smile he tore the bow in half. Legolas flinched. "Oh, I am very sorry. It seems you love him very much to weep over a single hair from him."

An anger flared in his eyes, for he despised having the knowledge that his victims continued to feel for others, continued to think of anyone besides him, Glorfindel. That he would have to change in the prince. He considered throwing the object away, but soon a new idea formed in his head that brought about a demonic grin on his beautiful face.

He crouched down close to Legolas; already the desire to taste more of the prince was returning. "This is coming with us. You would want to hold onto Haldir, won't you, sweet Legolas?"

He offered Legolas the broken bow and hair strand, and like a timid and terrified child Legolas held it tight to his chest.


	5. Chapter 4 : A Curse For Legolas

**WARNING for this chapter**: Very dark. This chapter contains rape, torture, and emotional turmoil of going through the ordeal. Also contains thoughts of killing one's own unborn child. Please pay attention to the warnings!

Very dark chapter here. Things hopefully will get better from here, though the journey to healing will be long and difficult. And unfortunately, I don't know when's the next time I can post a new chapter. I can get one chapter done per week, but with the intense school program I am currently in, this will mean that I am slowed down considerably. However, I will still be working on it, if not at a slug's pace. :)

* * *

Boromir wiped the sweat from his brow. "Do you have any lead, Aragorn?" They had been running all night and far past the rising of the sun with never a moment of rest. Aragorn had picked up on the scent of Legolas and another being whose scent he found familiar but couldn't find a name for. At that moment, Aragorn was on one knee, a hand roaming around a patch of grass. Boromir watched him, feeling unhelpful. Not too far off, Gimli was busy steading his breath. He had refused to stop, so great had his friendship with Legolas become, but in time the length of the travel had far outworn him.

"For miles we've ran," Gimli gasped out between deep breaths. "And still we find no sight of Legolas. What beast has captured him?"

"I do not know - there is something here," Aragorn said, taking a few more steps before kneeling down again. He held up a single white flower for them to see, the one that was wrapped around Legolas's bow. It was crushed flat and half the petals plucked out, covered with the blood that also stained the flattened ground beneath them.

* * *

The blindfolds were removed and Legolas looked up to see a stone door leading into a cave. The area around them was unfamiliar, but it was the least of Legolas's worries. The terror still pooled inside him; his heart had never settled throughout the journey, his mind still raced with all that had happened since his abduction. And though his wrists and ankles were not bound, Legolas could not move. Glorfindel did not need any physical means to keep him in his place.

As if he read Legolas's mind, the elf lord grinned down at him before turning his attention back to the door. His hand scanned around the smooth surface of the door, leaving behind a trail of blood. A series of runes appeared, but they were not like the elven runes that Legolas's father had once taught him.

Glorfindel caught his eye and grinned again. "I have been working hard to make this cave just for you. You live in caves, do you not? You should feel at home here."

He grabbed Legolas by the hair and dragged him into the cave. The stone door slammed shut behind them, echoing ominously in the pitch darkness.

The demon inside Glorfindel heard Legolas whimper, but he did not punish the elf; his own mind was remembering the bliss he felt as he ravished the elf. How great it was to occupy this body! The desire to experience this euphoria again was consuming him. He heard Legolas whimper again, and the demon groaned, for Legolas's beautiful voice was making the desire greater. He tucked his leggings down and approached the elf in the dark, his demon eyes sharper than the elf prince. He easily found Legolas's mouth, and with a strong thumb he pushed his way through the soft lips, forcing Legolas to open his mouth.

A gasp followed that quickly turned to a strangled scream as the demon shoved himself into Legolas's mouth.

"Do not think of biting down, or your head will be torn from your body before you can escape," the demon hissed. Legolas replied with more whimpers. The demon laughed. How he enjoyed this feeling, how lucky elves were to feel such emotions. But how much more enjoyable will the pleasure be once he sunk his teeth into the elf, so he gripped Legolas's head in his hands and finished himself off quickly before scooping low to drink from the elf's vein again. Legolas's shrieks of pain were offset by loud gagging noise as he vomited everything he was forced to take in.

"You do not like the way I taste?" the demon said, laughing darkly. "Perhaps you may enjoy the taste of your own blood." He kissed Legolas deeply, hungrily lapping at Glorfindel's seed which only served to ignite his great lust further. Legolas seemed to sense the growing lust, for he vainly struggled against the invisible binds.

But no matter what he did he could not move away, and he was pinned to the ground again, subjected to a pain that pierced into his very core. As he lay sobbing loudly on the ground, the demon settled back against the cave wall as though watching a mildly entertaining play. His content smile turned into a leer when Legolas banged his forehead against the ground, screaming at the Valar for not taking his soul.

"There is nothing you can do to escape me," the demon said. "Your soul is bond to your body. You cannot leave Middle-earth."

The broken elf did not reply, unable to do so from the crying. "I will find a way to kill myself if it means you will never take another drop of blood from me," Legolas finally managed.

The demon's laughter echoed in the cave. "I expected that you would try, which is why I brought the bowstring." He stretched the long strand of hair. "This elf is the center of your heart. I have spied on the two of you from afar during your stay at the Golden Wood. How sweet is thine love for the elven guard, and how tragic this love shall turn. Would you believe him to return to you after you have so willingly gave your body to me?"

Legolas grit his teeth. "I do not offer you my body!"

"Your body suggests otherwise," the demon said. "And look! It calls for me once more! Already your body rejects Haldir!"

Legolas moaned in pain, his face burning red at seeing his body's reaction. He had no control over his body; he was certain the demon was controlling him to react in this manner, much as how he controlled his ability to move.

As though he were thinking along the same lines, the demon scooped down and took Legolas in his mouth again. Legolas felt bile rise in his throat as the guilt crushed him. How different Glorfindel's tongue felt inside his mouth, nothing like the warm tenderness that was Haldir. Glorfindel's eyes were wide open, staring down into Legolas with a smugness that Legolas wished he could destroy, for Legolas's body responded further to the uninvited kiss.

When they pulled away, Legolas covered his face in his hands. Never had his body responded to this extent whenever he kissed Haldir, not even when they lay in bed with their bodies pressed together. There was the intense need to bond with Haldir, but the feeling was far kinder, more sweet and innocent. That which men would call lust didn't dominate the need to bond, though the desire to have their bodies touch was there. But there was a profound sense of love in the need, to be close to one who Legolas wished to remain with forever. And this feeling dominated his heart rather than his loins.

The feeling which accompanied him now was nothing but pain and fear. He was a stranger to lust, and he felt disgusted at himself for how the feeling clouded his thinking. No matter how his body responded, Legolas did not want to bond with Glorfindel for he did not love him. He did not want his body to be touched by one he did not love. He did not want his body exposed in this shameful manner. He did not want to be weak.

But every minute he was reminded of how weak he was. He was completely under the demon's control, and when the demon licked around the base of his neck, he sent shivers down Legolas's back.

"I possess every part of you," the demon hissed in Legolas's ears. "And you give in freely to me. How disappointed Haldir will be if he knew!"

And as Glorfindel possessed Legolas's body, the young prince imagined seeing Haldir in his current state, imagined the look of hurt and anger in his eyes. And as his body erupted in pleasure, Legolas's heart and mind screamed in agony for Haldir.

Trembles wrecked his body afterwards. It did not matter how many times he went through this horrid ordeal. His entire being was ripped apart from the inside; a dull pain in his stomach quickly burned till he had to struggle for breath.

"Again you betray Haldir's trust, and again you use me! A most vile elf you are!"

Legolas brought his arms around his head for the blows that soon followed.

"You're raping me! I do not want you!" he screamed.

"And you lie!" The demon laughed coldly. "A being such as yourself deserves no sympathy! For your revolting behavior, a punishment is most needed."

Legolas shivered at the maniacal tone in the demon's voice. He disappeared from his view for a while, and when Glorfindel appeared he was carrying the broken bowstring with Haldir's hair strand still attached.

Legolas's eyes widened when he spotted his own long knife in Glorfindel's hand. The demon grinned as he straddled Legolas.

"As I am sure you have noticed by now, I have great control over all that surrounds me," the demon said. "And soon you will witness how great is my command of all around me."

He brought the knife to Legolas's abdomen about two inches below his navel, and Glorfindel chuckled at the horror look on the elf's pale face. Legolas struggled again against the invisible binds helplessly. "Oh, yes, first I need a strand of hair from you."

He reached over and tug at Legolas's hair until one painfully parted from his scalp.

Legolas cried out, shaking his hair back. "What do you plan to do with me?"

But the demon ignored him for the rest of the ritual. Strange words he spoke, foreign on the lips of a creature so fair. With his hands he brought a glow to Legolas's abdomen, and when the glow grew brighter, he drove the knife deep, eliciting a shriek from the prince.

Legolas kept his eyes shut throughout the period as the pain lasted. Then he opened one eye partially to dare a look at what the demon was doing to him. He caught sight of the golden and silver strands being interwoven, and for a moment he was close to crying as he remembered the nights he spent in Haldir's arms, their long unbraided hair mingled together.

Suddenly the demon grabbed the open wound he had made in Legolas's abdomen and deep inside he tucked the entwined hairs, all the while chanting in a tongue that made Legolas's hair stand on end. The glow around his abdomen, once white, now turned a vivid red that seemed to fill the entire cave, and at that moment Legolas was hurled through a pain unlike anything he had ever felt before.

He knew not whose names he screamed out in his torment, nor was he aware that the demon was laughing coldly. The pain spun around and inside him, centering on a small spot in his abdomen. Finally, when it seemed like Legolas would faint from the intensity of the experience, the pain subsided. The glow dimmed out, leaving behind a thin, barely visible scar on the spot where the demon had cut him open.

Legolas was freely crying, feeling another part of him disappearing along with the glow. This was becoming too much for him to bear; his heart begged not for the first time for Mandos to deliver him of this cruel agony. He tentatively propped himself high enough to study the area on his stomach before turning to look at the leering face of Glorfindel, who resumed to settling himself against the cave wall.

"Do you wish to end your life now," Glorfindel asked, "when inside you beats the tiny heart of Haldir's child?"

* * *

Legolas did not need constraints. After each violation, he was left bleeding in the dark cave, left to scream in agony as he felt the walls collapsing in on him.

Each day the demon was crueler to Legolas, at times draining him of his blood till the elf's own soul seemed to finally able to leave his body. But the drink the demon had forced drowned Legolas's throat ensured that the elf never died, giving the demon a chance to replenish the elf's blood. Legolas did not starve indeed, for he was regularly fed special foods, drinks, and elixirs that aided his body in replenishing the blood supply. He would have refused these offerings had he not had the knowledge that inside him a new life was growing.

But to die was what Legolas wished for most, to be free of the constant excruciating pain and terror that held him in an iron grip. Deep within was a tiny wish for the unborn child to die, to free him of this curse, this added burden.

Every moment when he had his eyes closed he felt strange hands roam over him, heard whisperings of voices of many tongues speak to him, and his mind would set on fire and his body racked with shrieks that he was not even aware of uttering.

And each day, the torment grew worse, and soon Legolas's body could no longer heal the wounds inflicted through his thin frame, could no longer respond to the powerful foul-tasting elixirs he was forced to drink.

The demon did not see this as any cause for alarm. He was too consumed in the bliss of ravishing Legolas any chance he got, never turning down a chance to run his tongue through trails of blood, and never tiring of thrusting deeper into the trembling elf.

The demon used the beauty of Glorfindel to charm anyone he met, oftentimes to use them as part of his sick pleasure. To a group of Orcs he offered them Legolas, and he watched the assault with mirth, growing stronger with each shriek, each rip of flesh, each spill of blood and tears.

He had done the same with a group of men, but to them their lusts needed to dominate all over desires. One by one they used Legolas for their own pleasures, and no action was prohibited. The more they tormented Legolas, the more the demon fed. He kept them under his wicked spell, encouraging them to tear down all their restraints that have held them back in the past. To Legolas there was nothing that they could not do. Each man did as he pleased, bringing out every bit of anger, every forbidden act that they kept buried deep in their hearts and minds. To Legolas he got to see the darkest side of men, and to the demon he enjoyed every moment that he witnessed.

But not all men stayed under the demon's spell. There was one, the youngest of the men, who became aware of what they were doing. He spoke naught to his fellow men, for the spell was clear in their eyes and they would have killed him if disturbed; and the young man was too distracted and disturbed to see the source of their spell.

He rarely saw elves but knew from stories that they were fair creatures, and though Glorfindel was one of the fairest the man had ever seen, there was a fire in his eyes that spoke of evil, a foreign beast that was possessing the elf's strong body.

And a horrible shriek alerted him back to the elf receiving their aggression. His begs of mercy had turned into horrible shrieks that made his body go cold. The elf was dying, the man could sense, and not just in body. His soul was being strangled from deep within, and the man was surprised to realize how deeply he felt the elf's sorrows.

"Someone must help this elf, for I alone cannot fight these men," the man thought. He glanced back at the elf with the demonic grin, engrossed in the brutal display, and he slipped away before anyone would notice his absence. And indeed, no man ever noticed he was gone, not even when they were led far from the bleeding elf and freed from the spell that bound them.

* * *

Pain shot throughout Glorfindel's head. He held his head, rubbing his temples before looking about him. There was an elf, naked and shivering. Glorfindel gasped at the sight of the bruises and cuts that covered the young elf's thin body. A horror ran through him, for he had never seen such atrocities done to an elf before.

He got onto his knees and set a hand on a bony shaking shoulder. "Friend, what is the matter? Who has done this to you?"

The elf looked up. It was no one Glorfindel had ever met, but his heart stilled at the sight of the devastation that swam deep in the elf's eyes. There was much trauma and hurt, and an incredible fear that he could almost taste.

"The elf fears me," Glorfindel thought, growing more confused. "Why does he fear me?"

"What ails you?" he asked, trying to make his voice as gentle as he could lest the elf sought to run away.

The elf kept staring at him with wide eyes filled with a strange madness. Suddenly he grabbed Glorfindel's arms and in a broken voice yelled out, "Help me! Please! The demon-"

But Glorfindel's eyes had already glazed over. The moment his nose picked up the scent of blood, the demon broke out, sending Glorfindel back deep into his mind. The elf Glorfindel only felt his soul rattled inside his body and then was no more, no longer conscious that the demon was pinning Legolas to the ground, laughing loudly and mocking the poor elf crying and screaming for help as his body was torn open. The scent of Legolas's fear intoxicated Glorfindel's mind, blinding him further to the begs for him to stop as he dug his fangs again into the slender neck, drinking the fresh flood of blood that gushed into his mouth.

* * *

Boromir lost count of how many days had passed since they begun their search for Legolas. He was ready to suggest to the group to abort their search and seek rescuing the hobbits.

As Aragorn was studying the trail they have been following, they saw a young man, face pale and full of worry, come hurrying towards them. Gimli gripped his axe, but Aragorn motioned to him to relax.

"Well met," Aragorn greeted the man. "What is your name?"

"Leofwine I am, son of Leofric," the man said.

"I am Aragorn and I travel with Gimli son of Glóin and Bormoir son of Denethor. There is something that troubles you."

"What I have seen is terrible," the man said. "I was traveling with my party when we were suddenly put under a maddening spell. A voice commanded us to do as we pleased to this elf that was offered to us."

Boromir and Gimli glanced at one another.

"How did the elf appear?" Aragorn said. "We are looking for a friend who has been lost."

"Young," the man said. "His hair...I can only guess it was golden once, for he's covered in blood. I cannot describe him in any more words. There is not much else I can say that can identify him as your friend. He's been tormented to the point that I fear for his life!"

"What were the men ordered to do?" Aragorn demanded.

"To have our fun, to inflict all our desires and anger at him. He...he's been taken against his will." Aragorn gave a sharp intake of breath but said nothing. "And we did as told, for many days this has been going on." The man shivered. "I was the first to come out of the spell. We are being controlled by some demon inside another elf, a very powerful elf."

"A possessed elf?" Gimli said incredulously. "I have never heard of such-"

"Take us back to their camp," Aragorn said.

Leofwine paled. "I fear returning...the demon is very powerful."

"You have nothing to fear," Aragorn assured him. He motioned for Boromir and Gimli to ready their sword and axe, and they followed Leofwine.

* * *

The world turned ever the darker around Legolas. Blood continually dripped from him, his body long since having lost the ability to heal. His lungs fought for air, and a sharp pain ran down his spine. He had long given up on crying for help. The men were gone, their game finally over, and Legolas knew not where they went. But a tiny voice continued to whimper for someone to give him mercy, hoping that somehow one of them would return and show him kindness.

He knew not also where Glorfindel had gone, but it mattered not. Soon he would be back, perhaps bringing in more Orcs or men to continue breaking him. With shaking hands he gripped his stomach, wondering if the child inside had yet died.

"How horrible is this life," Legolas thought darkly. "Leave this world before you see its horrors, child! Leave me!" And he cried further, not wishing to be abandoned by the only companion he had.

The door with the strange runes cracked open, and Legolas let out a horrified cry in anticipation of the next round of abuse.

"Why do you fear me so, Greenleaf?" Glorfindel's sweet, mocking voice carried throughout the dark cave. "Have I not showed you nothing but love since I brought you to your new home? Have I not showered you with a love that Haldir denied you?

"But, look! Haldir's own child sleeps inside you. Did you go to him while I had my back turned to you? Such a disgraceful elf!"

His fingers wrapped around Legolas's throat as he said this, and now he squeezed Legolas's neck. Legolas could not stop the tears from falling; indeed, he could no longer fight anything anymore. He let his tears fall, his body trembling under the cold grip of the demon.

"Must I remind you again of what my love grants you?"

The demon bent over to sink his teeth inside him once more, and that was when there was a sudden whoosh heard through the air, and the demon gave a horrified cry, releasing Legolas from his grip.

Darkness consumed Legolas before he could see his saviors.

* * *

Aragorn sheathed his sword Andúril, his face still pale at the monster he had attacked. Never in his life he would imagine the identity of the beast.

"I have known Glorfindel all my life," Aragorn thought, studying the direction to where the elf had fled the moment he slipped from his grasp. "This cannot be the great elf lord acting with his own mind."

He turned to his company. Boromir and Gimli shared equally shocked looks.

"Aragorn, I would say my eyes have fooled me," Boromir said. "But it seems you have seen the elf's face yourself. Is it true then? This is the same elf who I met in Rivendell?"

"Do not think about this now," Aragorn said. "Wait here."

He lit a torch before stepping into the dark cave. He had knowledge of what happened to elves who suffered violation, but it did not stop his heart from wrenching when he saw Legolas. There was nothing left of the elf he knew as part of the Fellowship. He knew little about Legolas, having had little contact with him, but he appreciated the elf for his good spirits and keen eyesight, and for the short time they were friends before Legolas was captured.

He gently called out Legolas's name as he stretched out a hand to touch him. Legolas did not respond to the touch, so Aragorn moved closer to study the damage. There were deep bite marks along Legolas's neck and shoulders. Legolas's face was deathly pale, and the corner of his lips were turning blue.

"_Lasto beth nîn, tolo dan nan galad_," Aragorn chanted. "Legolas, listen to my voice, and return to the light."

Suddenly Legolas gave a horrible cry full of terror. Finally able to control his body again, he sought to kick the intruder away from him.

Startled, Aragorn's arm flew back and the torch toppled to the ground, engulfing them in darkness.

"This is Aragorn who is with you," Aragorn whispered gently. "_Av-'osto, av-'osto_. Have no fear. You are among friends."

Aragorn wrapped the bleeding elf in the grey cloak the Lórien elves had gifted him. Legolas gave a weak whimper and a startled gasp. "You are among friends," Aragorn whispered gently into Legolas's ear again. "Stay with us, _mellon_."

He stepped out of the cave to meet the worried looks of his three companions.

"We must get Legolas back to Lothlórien!" Aragorn told them. "I fear my healing will not be enough for him." He turned to Leofwine. "We are in great debt to you, friend."

"My men's camp is not too far," Leofwine said. "If they have not moved on already, I may get you some horses for your journey. But I fear my men may still be under the demon's spell."

Aragorn sent Boromir to travel with Leofwine while he stayed behind, seeking any way he could heal the elf before they journey back to Lothlórien. He did this without fully exposing Legolas lest Gimli saw the full extent of Legolas's wounds. But this only served to worry the dwarf more.

Leofwine and Boromir finally returned with two horses.

"It is strange," Leofwine said. "My men had no memory of their heinous crimes."

"Do not give them the knowledge of their wrongdoing," Aragorn said. "They were under a spell, and remember you were also part of the curse." Leofwine winced. "I will not punish you for you were acting against your will, as were your friends. Go back to your men and ensure they return to Rohan safely."

"My king will gladly accept you should you travel past our land," Leofwine said.

After he bid them goodbye and left, Aragorn turned to Boromir and Gimli. "Each of us must take a horse. There is much too blood leaving Legolas, and I fear we will lose him if he is not taken to Lothlórien immediately!"

Aragorn mounted on one horse with the wrapped Legolas in front of him; blood was already seeping through the elven cloak. In the other horse Boromir rode with Gimli riding behind him. After taking one final look at the ominous stone door of the cave, they set off.


	6. Chapter 5 : Hands

Hidden beneath the shadows of low trees, the demon watched the men on horseback disappear. He knew to which place they rode. Though his speed was such that he could easily reach them, he feared the sword wielded by one of the men. Its touch was like a fire burning through his very soul.

But more the demon was concerned that the men and dwarf now knew of the body he possessed. He would rip them till they were only scraps of flesh, but his fiery desire to reclaim the elf stopped him. He lusted for the elf still, and to not taste him again stirred in him excruciating pain.

The elf would be protected from him, and all the elves of Lothlórien would be warned about him. But before the news spread to other elven realms, the demon was left with one final chance to get as close as he could to tasting the elf again.

And so he turned north and sped towards Mirkwood.

* * *

No words they spoke as they sped back to Lothlórien. Boromir and Gimli silently watched Aragorn race in front of them on his horse. Very little of the elf they could see from where they sat, but there would not have been much to see even when they had a clear look at him, for the elf was bathed in blood. With a sick lurch in his stomach, Boromir could still see droplets flying past the horse, staining the ground as they rushed back to the blessed land of Lothlórien.

"He will find us easily," Boromir said, breaking the silence.

"It matters not at this point!" Gimli said gruffly, inwardly thinking of how very much he would like to use his axe on Glorfindel. "There will be too many for him to battle alone, and he has to get through me first to get to Legolas!"

Boromir said nothing of the dwarf's devotion to his friend, for the sight of the blood brought him worry. "He will not make it," he said under his breath. "Immortal elves may be, they need blood to live. But I hope I am wrong and he still lives." Though under what condition, neither wished to contemplate.

It seemed Lady Galadriel had been expecting them, for the guards did not stop them when they approached the Southern gates. The guards rushed with them, taking them to a pavilion to set Legolas. In minutes the Lady of Light was there with her husband by her side. Elves who had passed by and seen the bloodied elf all cried out in horror and grief. Even Lord Celeborn's fair face had paled at the sight of the damage on the young elf's body, but Lady Galadriel said not a word. She calmly settled herself on the chair beside the bed, and she began her chant, her slender hands moving over Legolas's form.

"Aragorn, bring me all the healing herbs," she said, and he obliged. Soon,the other healers were each given a task, and in before the hour was gone Legolas's wounds were properly sealed. But he was still deathly pale, his breath shallow, and bruises still marred his thin frame.

After cutting himself over a cloth that contained Legolas's blood, Celeborn offered his open wound to his wife, who took it gently and pressed it to an open wound on Legolas's arm.

"Do you need my blood as well?" Aragorn asked.

"It is a generous offer, but I fear your blood would only hurt him," Galadriel said. Aragorn nodded his understanding.

"I beg of you, let me give him some of my blood!" Gimli said. "Do not let a dwarf stand there and watch his friend die!"

Galadriel considered him for a moment. Then she said, "Give me your hand."

Gimli obeyed, and Galadriel made a small incision in the palm of his hand. Droplets fell on a small dish of Legolas's blood. Gimli watched the procession though he knew not what Galadriel was doing. Nothing had changed in the dish.

"You can offer him blood," Lady Galadriel said at last. The incision was lengthened, and before the blood could seep out in a thick gush, she brought Gimli's hand to another open wound on the dying elf's body. Gimli held as still as he could, his worried eyes scanning over the pale face and bruised body of his dear friend.

"Will this be enough for him?" Gimli asked as he recalled their journey back to Lothlórien.

"Perhaps I may be of value," a familiar voice spoke behind him. Gimli turned, meeting eyes with the wizard Gandalf.

Lord Celeborn ran his finger over the incision in his hand, watching the thin cut disappear into a vague red line. Lady Galadriel had pulled him back when his help was no longer needed. Gimli was sitting beside Legolas. Unlike Celeborn the elf who healed quickly, Gimli's hand required to be wrapped in cloth.

Though he remained pale save for the faint hint of color on his cheeks, Legolas was declared safe from death. His breathing came in a normal rhythm. But his eyes were closed shut, an unusual trait for an elf. Many of the healers had taken this as an ominous sign of his health. Still, he appeared to be in a stable state. He was moved to a clean bed, and the remaining members of the Fellowship sat around him, talking amongst themselves in whispers.

Galadriel had left the healing house only moments before, sharing with him a look mingled with grief of remembrance of their own daughter's illness. The Lórien Lady and Lord were told all of the evils that befell Legolas, and hours later Celeborn's heart was still heavy in his chest. His mind would not leave the past, of looming over the bed where his daughter once lay, screaming in agony of the horrors she had seen. Of the evil that had touched her, eventually sending her beyond the Sea.

A cry of shock startled Celeborn back to the present. Orophin was standing in the doorway, his wide eyes frozen on the sickly form of Legolas.

"I apologize for my rudeness, Lord Celeborn," Orophin said quickly. "I heard the voice of Aragorn and I grew worried. I…I am deeply sorry. I foresaw this event, but I never believed it to be true - ai, Haldir!"

And before Lord Celeborn could speak, the elven guard rushed away.

* * *

Orophin fought with himself to keep his eyes dry. He knew not if he should inform Haldir of what he had seen, for it would pain him to see his brother in agony. But it would not do to keep a secret from his own kin, not one of such importance.

He stopped not once to speak with any elves he met along his journey to the northern gates. For two days he ran without stopping to rest, and in that time a resentment had grown in his heart, for he blamed and hated himself for never once seeking to prevent the dire events.

His heart raced with the thoughts, blinding him to where he was going. And it was not until he reached the talan which his brothers took guard in did he finally stop, then question himself why he had come.

"Orophin! Ai - what has happened?"

Haldir and Rúmil both stood when they saw him, and both had gone cold at the sight of him. Haldir rushed towards him, gripping his arms.

"Has something happened in the city? Are our parents well?" Haldir asked.

Orophin shook his head slightly. Now he was facing Haldir, he no longer knew what to tell him. The words died in his throat.

"I have foreseen it," Orophin finally managed. Rúmil's eyes widened with understanding, and a small cry escaped his lips. Haldir glanced at Rúmil then back at Orophin, giving them both a look of question.

"I apologize deeply, my brother," Orophin said, his voice trembling. "It's Legolas...his friends have returned him." Rúmil shook his head. "He is dying, Haldir."

Haldir's fingers slackened their hold on Orophin. "What ill do you speak of? What prophecy?"

Orophin staggered backwards. "I beg your forgiveness, brother. It was on the day when the Company was to depart. It had been a couple days since you departed to lead the Fellowship to the Southern borders."

"What did you see?" Haldir gripped his arms again.

"I saw nothing," Orophin said. "But I felt a dread spread over me, like a cold presence that threatened to drown me. I knew not what it meant, but I feared for Legolas's safety. Somehow, I knew that it would be Legolas in danger. But Rúmil and I - we were both fools! We did not heed to my premonition!"

Rúmil tentatively stepped forward. "How does he appear, Orophin?"

Orophin hesitated to respond, but Haldir gave him a pleading look. "It appears he had been mangled. There are cuts everywhere. They were sedating him when I saw him. He sleeps with his eyes closed."

"No," Haldir said in a voice so low his brothers almost didn't here him. "No…the demon…could it?"

"What demon do you speak of?" Orophin asked, but Haldir had let go of him and hurried to the ladder.

"Take my position," Haldir ordered Orophin. "I will be gone for some time, for I wish to remain beside him if Mandos had not yet claimed him. Do not follow me but take my place!"

* * *

The entire way Haldir ran back to Caras Galadhon his heart pounded heavily in his chest. Repeatedly Galadriel's words ran in his mind: _You will be reunited with him, sooner than you may expect_. Never had he questioned the implication of her words, but now with the knowledge of what had happened he only felt cold at the remembrance of them.

"A fool I was!" Haldir thought. "I had believed her to mean I would see him after an early end to the war! Much I have imagined our happy union since, that I would see him again under a joyful time. Ai, Legolas!"

He did not stop to talk to any elf when he reached Caras Galadhon, so distraught was he. He made for the healing house when steady hands gripped his shoulder. He spun around to see Lord Celeborn. The elder elf's eyes regarded Haldir solemnly.

They spoke naught for several moments. The situation was too familiar to a horror in his past, one he had thought - had hoped - would be forever gone from memory.

"Please, where is he?" Haldir finally managed to say in a quiet voice.

Celeborn led him away from the healing house. For a moment, Haldir's heart stopped, thinking that his beloved Legolas had passed before he could reach him. He was led inside a room of the pavilion where the Lord and Lady resided. Gandalf had been waiting for him. Confused, Haldir glanced at Lord Celeborn, but he did not reply to Haldir's unspoken question.

"Please take a seat, Haldir," Lord Celeborn said.

Haldir settled before Gandalf. His hands shook, and the speed of his heart had not abated since entering the city. Before Lord Celeborn was fully seated Haldir spoke, "Where is Legolas? Is he well?"

Gandalf raised a hand. "Legolas is alive," he said. He paused for a few moments for Haldir to take a calming breath. "He is resting in a talan we have given him. There is much healing that is required, though I cannot promise that he would ever return to his previous strength."

Haldir's face paled. "What do you mean?"

"Did Legolas tell you of the demon who haunted him since his mother's death?" Lord Celeborn asked.

"Legolas told me of how much the demon had impacted him for nearly ninety years. But the demon was never seen since then; had they run across this fiend after leaving Lothlórien?"

Gandalf studied Haldir for a few moments. "Clearly Legolas has not told you everything. Were you not aware that he had again met the demon in Rivendell?"

Haldir's eyes widened. "I was never told this. Why hadn't he? What had happened?"

He sat in cold silence as he listened to Gandalf and Lord Celeborn relate to him all that had transpired in Imladris. Haldir felt as though he were in a strange dream, hearing the tale of Glorfindel the mighty elven lord possessed by the heinous spirit. But the strange dream turned into a dreadful nightmare as their story turned to the events following Legolas's capture.

"Perhaps you should stop," Lord Celeborn said, resting a hand on Gandalf. They studied Haldir with looks of concern and sympathy.

"This brings too painful a memory for you," Lord Celeborn said gently.

After a long silence, Haldir nodded. "Aye, my lord." With eyes bright with fresh tears he studied his environment. "Much this is like the time when it happened to my mother. Now I understand what it is you meant that his health will never return in full. My mother was never the same since, though my brothers do not know any of my family's past. That evening haunts me still whenever it is released from my deepest memory. Please, let not the news of Legolas's illness reach them, especially my mother. It had taken us so long to help her heal, to prevent her soul from rejecting life completely."

"They will not know," Celeborn said. "Do not think for a moment I will say anything to harm them. I too, after all, have suffered watching a loved one in this state and understand the misery the memory carries with it."

"Lady Celebrían! How did I forget!" Haldir said. "I beg your forgiveness, my Lord."

"There is nothing to forgive, Haldir," Lord Celeborn said. His small smile reminded Haldir vividly of his father the day after his mother's rape: a sad smile ready to shatter under the slightest realization of the severity of their situation.

"How does Legolas appear?" Haldir asked.

"In many ways he is broken," Lord Celeborn said. "Do not let it come as a shock to you if he is nothing like the elf you knew."

"May I see him?" Haldir asked after a long silence.

He was taken to a talan not far away. Silence surrounded them as did a terrible sense of pain and suffering. Even the elves walking past the tree could feel the agony that swirled inside the sick elf's body.

The soft chants of a healing spell greeted Haldir as he neared the talan. Lady Galadriel stood over Legolas, her hands roaming over his abdomen before spreading around his body. She looked up when Haldir was close, and with a final sway of her hand over Legolas's lower abdomen, she brought her arms back to her sides.

"You may stay with him for the rest of the night," she told Haldir. "We will not disturb you."

Haldir thanked Lady Galadriel and sat besides Legolas's bed. The silence was broken only by the heavy pounding of Haldir's heart. He rested his head besides Legolas's shoulder and allowed a few tears to roll down. Then wiping the last of his tears away, he stood up to move closer to the elf.

Legolas's eyes were closed, a manner quite strange and worrisome for elves. Tentatively Haldir brought one hand to touch Legolas's cheek; upon contact Legolas's eyes shot open as he let out a loud terrified gasp.

"It is me," Haldir whispered softly. "You have nothing to fear. You are safe with me."

* * *

Legolas had been dreading this the moment he was aware of his surroundings. Shame and guilt suffocated him. He had failed his father and his entire kingdom of Mirkwood. Humiliated in the vilest of ways, forced to carry a child created by devilry. How could he look up to his family once more, knowing how he had failed the Fellowship, how he had dishonored his father? And how was he to face the elf he had promised his love to?

He touched his belly, flat still save for the barest raise of a line across his lower abdomen where Glorfindel had made the incision. He could not discern if his child had somehow survived. Again his heart prayed the child had died on its own, and again the guilt came for wishing such ill on a life so pure and faultless.

When Lady Galadriel had come in one evening to offer a healing chant, Legolas's thoughts turned to Haldir. And he prayed to the Valar that Haldir would not come see him, though it pained Legolas greatly, for there was not one moment while under Glorfindel's torment that Legolas did not wish he was instead in the comforting arms of the Lothlórien elf.

Tears formed in his eyes. He looked up to meet Galadriel's wise eyes before she looked away, focusing on her chant.

"How now am I to face him?" Legolas thought. "I cannot look upon his face knowing how my body has betrayed him." He squeezed his eyes shut, letting all the tears flow and hoping that the healing sleep would come soon. He shut off all thoughts and focused on the stream of healing words, like a ripple of river passing over his damaged body. His breathing steadied, and the world left him in a state of darkness. Though his sleeps were not without trouble, for he often felt hands crawling over him, he welcomed the sense of leaving behind his body, if only for a while.

He knew not that Galadriel had left him moments before, and when he felt a hand on his shoulder larger than the Lady's hands, he startled awake in fright.

"It is me. You have nothing to fear. You are safe with me," said the soft voice of the one Legolas least wished to see. Trembles began to spread through his body as the shame and guilt filled him once more. Tentatively he focused on Haldir for a few moments, hungrily drinking in the sight of his beloved. But then he recalled his body reacting to Glorfindel's unwanted touches and of the pain and pleasure mingled in a terrible embrace. And with a wail Legolas covered his face in his hands and rolled away from Haldir and slid off the bed.

"Legolas, please." Haldir rested his hand gently upon Legolas's shoulder. Legolas shook his head, crying loudly. "Please, do not shut me away from your life!" Legolas fought to run away from him, though his legs could not support him. He fell to the ground, his legs trembling at the memory of being forced wide apart, spreading him open. It gave Haldir the advantage he needed. He firmly gripped Legolas's hands and pulled them away from the elf's tear-filled face.

"No!"

"Please," Haldir said again. He could no longer hide the torment that stormed inside him. He brought Legolas into his arms, and Legolas winced at the contact for he no longer had trust in his own filthy body, and Haldir's hands felt too large on his back. "You are much thinner than the last time we embraced. But you are safe here. Glorfindel will never hurt you again."

"You know?" Legolas broke away, his face turning paler as he tore away from Haldir. "Who told you?"

"I was told everything by Lord Celeborn and Gandalf," Haldir said.

Legolas's eyes widened. "You know everything?" he said in a small voice. He turned away from him, covering his face in his shame, but Haldir gently pried his hands away and made him to look at him again.

"Everyone in Lothlórien will be alerted to him," Haldir said. "As painful as it is to know a great elven hero has been possessed, we will do everything to protect you and others from the demon's bloodlust. He will not step one foot into this realm. Had I known that you have seen the demon in Imladris I would have asked to journey with the Fellowship. I never would allow harm to touch you."

"Gandalf told me I would be safe so long as Glorfindel stayed in Imladris," Legolas said. "As threatened as I felt, I was told not to mention the demon to anyone, for Gandalf and Galdor would protect me. Then Gandalf fell to the Balrog, and Glorfindel killed Galdor before coming after me!" He wiped the tears from his face. "The Company was attacked at the Anduin, and the hobbits were taken. But Aragorn had the others chase after me. They are set to leave tomorrow in the morning to seek the hobbits, though I doubt they still live."

"It is noble of you to think of others' perils before your own," Haldir said, "but have hope! They will survive this war, for I have seen much strength in these little people."

"There is no hope left," Legolas said in a voice so quiet Haldir had almost missed him.

"Your heart has been damaged by what the demon has done to you," Haldir said. "I see it clearly in you. It is what every elf in your situation experiences, for elves cannot bear the crime of rape. A miracle it is for any to survive it."

"I was taken many times," Legolas said softly. "He gave me a drink that would stop me from leaving my body. It is a curse to survive it!" New tears fell from his eyes as he looked around him. "I wish much to leave this world, but Lady Galadriel told me that the drink will forever block me from entering Valinor. Even if I sail West I would never find it. But I cannot remain here! There is nothing but perils I see here."

"In time you will heal," Haldir said. "Do you remember what I had once said? '_The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and -_'"

"I remember it still, but I do not believe it!"

"In time you will believe it," Haldir said gently. He brought his hand to give Legolas a comforting touch, but Legolas cowered, and Haldir quickly brought his hand back. "Forgive me. I should have known you do not wish to be touched unless you request it."

Legolas turned his head away again, shaking his head. Haldir could feel the intense sadness in the elf, for elves were very empathic of others' emotions. As much as it pained him to feel the agony inside Legolas, it made Haldir love him more.

"How can you be certain that one day I will find beauty in the world once more?" Legolas asked.

Haldir took a deep breath. "I know because I had watched my mother go through the painful path to recovery after she was taken against her will."

Legolas gave a small gasp as his mind relived the image of Ullenn, of her sad eyes and shy demeanor.

"I sensed it in her, but I never knew she had endured this misery."

"Neither do Orophin and Rúmil know," Haldir said. "They were still not born when it happened."

"How did it happen? Who had committed this crime against her?"

"I was just reaching adulthood," Haldir said. "We were traveling to other lands. My father's work lay in carpentry, and he wished to sell his craft to any elf or man who took interest in his work. My mother and I followed him, for we never travelled without each other. While we rested one night, a band of Men had caught sight of my mother and they desired her. By the time my father and I had reached them, my mother had been already violated and tortured under the hands of these men."

Haldir paused to steady his breath. A chill had settled around Legolas, as though he were witnessing the tragedy happen before him. He could almost see Ullenn lying helpless on the cold ground; he could smell the blood pooling around her, and Legolas's heart ached for her.

"I wished to avenge my mother, but my father held me back. Instead we took her to be healed in Lothlórien. Though her wounds were sealed, her heart and mind could not be mend. And for many years she suffered as you do now." Tears brightened the elf's grey eyes.

"How long did she suffer?" Legolas asked softly as he inched closer.

"Elves take far longer to recovery than humans, though both forever carry the burden," Haldir said. "But with elves it is perhaps the greater burden-"

"For we can strongly feel the rapist's thoughts and emotions as they take us," Legolas finished, "for our nature is empathy."

Haldir nodded, his eyes growing brighter. "Yes, and those around the victim can feel their turmoil, as I can feel the pain inside you right now. The years that followed were agonizing for my family. Ever close my mother was to laying her life down, for she was fast fading from us, but not a moment my father spent away from her side. He handled her pain stronger than I could. But I remained with them for I could not bear seeing my mother leave us. Yet still my desire was to find the men. This was how I came into studying law, and I took comfort in them when nothing in the world made sense to me. Law held everything in order and was simple to comprehend.

"Years have gone by. When I dared venture to seek the men, time had already claimed them. Disappointed as I was, I was also relieved to know that the men's deaths would not be my own hand." Haldir gave a small chuckle. "I returned to Lothlórien to comfort my mother. She teetered on the edge of life. One step and she would have entered the Halls of Mandos. But my father was strong. He kept her from leaving. And slowly for many years she regained her strength. Though she never returned to her old radiance, she was seeing the world as beautiful once more.

"By then I had contented to serving Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel as a guard. I took a talan for my own, for I sensed I needed to leave my parents to themselves. I was right to leave them at a time, for one year later I was holding my brother Orophin."

"How many years had passed before then?" Legolas asked.

Haldir hesitated. "Every elf recovers at a different pace. Some cannot bear it, for they turn to Valinor."

Legolas sighed. "Would I have gone to Valinor than to remain here!"

"Do not say such a thing! I would not bear it if you left." Haldir moved closer, wishing to embrace Legolas, but he restrained himself.

"You remained by your mother during her darkest moment when her own pain filled your heart," Legolas said in a quiet voice. "Would you do the same for me?"

"You do not even need to ask me," Haldir said. "Nothing would take me from your side, so long as you wish me to remain by you."

"And would you keep loving a damaged elf?" Legolas looked down at his body. "For there is not much left of me."

"I will greatly treasure you even if a single strand of your hair was all I had."

His face back in his hands, Legolas turned away, hiding himself behind his curtain of long hair. Haldir did not need to look at the shaking shoulders to know that Legolas had dissolved into heavy tears. He inched closer, wishing again to embrace him. But her knew, from a mistake many centuries past, that a victim of such violation could not bear any hand on their skin. Instead he reached out his hand as though in offer.

The action was not missed. Legolas looked up and brought Haldir's hand closer. He studied Haldir's hand as though testing to see if any danger lay in them, his eyes still bright with tears. Then feverishly he kissed each digit, dragging Haldir closer to him before he let go of his hand and instead wrapped his arms around the Lórien elf. Haldir tightly embraced Legolas, feeling the body tremble in his arms as sobs racked the elf's body.

"You must rest, Legolas," Haldir said softly. "You are cold and weak. Come, let me take you back to your bed. Rest tonight. I will come back in the morning unless you wish me to stay by you."

Legolas shook his head. His cheeks had gone pink from his crying, though his skin remained sickly pale and dark shadows lined his eyes. "I have dishonored and failed every one I knew. How will my father take the news of his son's shameful failure?"

"It is not a shameful failure but an attack from an enemy that you have suffered," Haldir said as he smoothed the blankets over the prince. "Any brave warrior would have suffered such as you have. King Thranduil would want his son to rest his wounds."

Legolas's eyes bore into his. Haldir had only become aware of the elf's heart pounding heavily. In Legolas's mind the painful vivid memory returned, of being in such vulnerable position, unable to stand, of a hand pinning him down.

"Release your hand off me," came the meek order from Legolas.

Haldir removed his hand. "Forgive me," he said. "If you need me I will not be far. Rest well my love."

Haldir's eyes pleaded for forgiveness, which Legolas acknowledged with a turn of his head, hiding his shame. He waited till Haldir had left the talan before he turned his head up, studying the doorway with forlorn. How deeply he wished to call out for Haldir to come back. But his body could not bear to be touched, even if it were to be comforted. And fear had settled in Legolas's heart for Haldir did not look the same to him. No one appeared to him the same since Aragorn pulled him out of the terrible cave. Even the Lady of Light carried the thick aura of death and sorrow. A trail of stench filled the earth as though he walked on fresh graves. And it was worse with the Men and Gimli, for they were destined to die and Legolas could see their time looming over them like a black veil.

"Great it would be to die and step into the Halls of Mandos," Legolas thought. His heart yearned for nothing more than to leave Middle-earth for he detested every part of it; yet it was only his love for Haldir kept him rooted to life. Again he wished he could call out to him, to hear again his words of comfort. But then his mind turned to the child inside him, if it still lived, for none who examined him had noted anything strange. A chill ran through Legolas as he wondered what Haldir would say had he known of the curse. Would he treasure _this_ strand of his hair? He placed his hand on his abdomen again, and a small image came to him of a Haldir laughing heartily as he played with a healthy elfling in his arms.

Legolas turned his head up, and that was when he met a pair of yellow eyes staring back at him.

The eyes belonged to a creature covered in shadow, lying underneath a small table beside the door where Haldir had left minutes ago. Legolas felt the cold consume him and he became unable to move. His eyes could not leave the creature before him.

It opened its mouth, revealing yellow teeth stained in blood. And the more Legolas stared the more he realized that the creature was not covered in a shadow. Its entire form was shadowy, but nothing it was like the demon that had come to possess Glorfindel. Perhaps it was once human or elf; its decaying body dripped with blood.

The creature slowly slithered out from its place under the table, its breathing loud and sharp. It kept its eyes on Legolas, its long fingers scraping the floor of the talan. Upon seeing them Legolas was reminded of all the times when he felt hands crawling over him like spiders seizing their prey.

The creature gripped onto the bed with one hand; it was now inches from Legolas. It opened its mouth again and thick globs of blackened blood splattered onto the bedsheets. The creature reached out for Legolas as it uttered that horrible choked cry. And in that moment Legolas found his voice, finally breaking from the binding spell.

His shrieks tore the tranquil night.


	7. Chapter 6 : Chase Away The Demons

**Note:** I cannot express how happy I am to complete a new chapter, after so long being inactive on this story. Hopefully more chapters will be written, though a slow pace is still to be expected (but hopefully not as long as last time!) In this chapter, Legolas still suffers, but the plan is for him to find happiness in a long journey. Thank you to all who reviewed and sent me notes about this story. I am very glad all of you are enjoying this.

Some warnings for this chapter: there are thoughts of abortion. Warnings from previous chapters still apply.

* * *

Seldom did the elves of Lothlórien walk near the eastern part of their realm, for they tarried not near the _talan_ upon which the Mirkwood prince lay. The fear of him and his mind did remain fresh in their minds since the evening when his screams sounded throughout the once-tranquil forest. When the others had come to his aid it was to find the elf covered in his own blood, his fingers scratching as much of his body as he could. His voice had grown hoarse from the never-ceasing shrieks, yet he ceased not in his madness.

Pleadingly he begged all present to catch the enemy - an enemy none could see - that rested in the corner. When one of his friends, having pity, explained to Legolas the images he saw were of his own mind, it was met with more madness, more frantic fighting till even his friends he held dear were victim of his fit. At last a drought to soothe him was forced upon him, and when they left his _talan_ is was only his soft, quiet sobbing that could be heard from his room.

It was said his mind was possessed with ill thoughts, and Lothlórien mourned the prince of Mirkwood who had succumbed to a terrible illness. But Legolas did not need to hear the rumors to realize how others would treat him; he experienced them every waking minute. The elf maidens who helped him bathe let not their hands linger on his bruised body. Every person he met, during the rare moments when he did venture outside his _talan_, would cast their eyes aside, as if pretending he did not exist would ease his pain. And those who did give their attention to him did so in manner as though Legolas were a small child.

Legolas knew no malicious intent was behind their behavior, for no one was ever cruel to him. Yet the pain only intensified at the realization of how very much alone he was here. His every step ostracized him from the rest of elven society. They treated him with respect, but as if he were already deceased and they merely were preparing his body for the funeral.

He did not want their silent respect. He wanted to be held, comforted, to let them hear his screams of agony. After each bathe, sitting alone in his room, Legolas thought of his home, of his father and the tears in his father's eyes when he used to come to Legolas's room, seeking to bring him out to the living and open world. And though the _talan_ was closer to the open air and trees than the deep caves of Mirkwood, Legolas never felt more isolated from the rest of the world.

Mirkwood. His home. The thought of it drove him to madness. How Legolas desired to return home! To run to his father's arms and cry, being wrapped in the comfort of familiarity. He missed his bed, the warm covers and the thick walls that hid him from the world. While he had grown to despise the days he spent there after his mother's death, he yearned greatly for it now, to return to those times of hiding in the darkness of his own bedroom.

But no darkness would keep his family away, and the thought of them breaking that comfort, in search of cheering him, only pained him further. What would they think - his father, brothers, and sisters - what would they think of his experience? Of coming to his room one day and finding his belly swollen with the ill-gotten child inside? How disappointed will they be?

Legolas sat up, breathing heavily as the thoughts came crashing down on him. He was a disgrace to the entire family. Twice he was burned, and so easily. He could not bear death when the others could find the strength to move on. And what of his rape? To be so easily ensnared in the demon's web, his strength drained from him with just a look of the devil's eyes.

His hands slid to his abdomen. How will he handle this forced pregnancy? He let the word slip from his mouth slowly in a quiet whisper, as if to say it any louder would shatter the walls about him. He let the word fill him with its every meaning. It was not natural. There could be no way the child could survive, and even if it did his body would not be strong enough to support it.

In his agony he did not realize that he dug his fingernails into his abdomen. They would think him mad, and perhaps he would be brought back to Mirkwood bound from head to toe. But he needed to do this, to stop further pain for himself, his family, and this forsaken child.

But what would Haldir think if he knew?

Legolas looked up in time to see Lady Galadriel. His fingers were still at his abdomen, digging deeper as though he could simply tear his trouble out of him. He studied Lothlórien's Lady in wonderment if she knew of his state, but she gave no indication that she understood. Silently she eased his hands away from his abdomen and motioned for him to lean back on the bed.

It was not the first time that Lady Galadriel examined his body for any changes, but never did she show understanding of what was taking place inside him. He searched her eyes for answers, hoping she would tell him something of his condition, yet the smile she gave him was without a message. And she would leave him feeling more lonely than before.

"Either the child has died or it is hidden from her senses," Legolas thought, "neither of which I can be certain. Mighty is Lady Galadriel, and any curse inside me she would have long noticed. Perhaps she killed it already and told me not, for thinking I do not know of my own curse. Or she has sensed it and let it live, but she means to keep it a secret from myself. Or she wishes to let me be the first to speak of it."

Each time Legolas held this same conversation with himself, and each time no answer could he reach that would explain Lady Galadriel's silence.

* * *

Legolas was not without company during the days, though in time the number dwindled. The event of Legolas's first encounter with the demon delayed his friends from leaving, for they worried for him and wished to remain beside him as means of support. Gimli had visited him often, though conversation between them was small and awkward, for Gimli knew not how to approach an elf who suffered such a heinous crime. And Legolas, though there was still love for Gimli in his heart, felt contempt at being treated as a fragile doll by the dwarf.

Aragorn and Boromir also payed him a visit, but to both Legolas felt too ashamed to look upon their eyes. They were there the first night that Legolas had seen the demon, and even as they sat with him now in efforts to hold a conversation with him, Legolas saw the demon again, covered in the black blood, grinning at him from beneath the same table Legolas had first seen him. He kept his panic buried, and when the men left, Legolas would throw himself onto the bed, beating his fists against his head in hopes of sending himself into unconsciousness. Yet nothing would dissuade the demon from crawling closer, its hands reaching out for him.

"What do you wish from me?" Legolas demanded. Still the demon crawled closer, and on its face was hunger for Legolas's flesh. And when the cold, sickly hands were on him again, no longer could Legolas bottle in his screams, and once more he was found alone, thrashing and screaming until he was subdued by a drought brewed by the elves.

It was this demon which troubled him the most. None could see or even sense him despite the many times Legolas drew attention to it. He wished not to believe their words that the demon was an imagining of his own mind, for he was certain this same creature was the one who touched him in the darkness, back in the cave where Glorfindel had taken him.

"Did you follow me or were you always here?" Legolas asked the creature after he was subdued and the healers had left his _talan_. "Was it you who was in the cave?" The monster neither answered him nor moved, but he leered at him from across the room, his sharp teeth gleaming bright under the moonlight. Meanwhile as the elves passed underneath the tree, they overheard Legolas's questioning the walls, and they shook their heads in pity and rushed off.

* * *

On the morning of the Fellowship's departure from Lothlórien, Legolas dressed himself, wincing with certain movements. The monster watched him from the shadows, leering in its mocking manner as it always did. Legolas tried to avoid meeting its gaze as he limped out of his _talan_ for the first time on his own. He found Aragorn, Boromir, and Gimli just as they were about to leave, Gandalf having left days before. The sight of their swords and knives, and Gimli's axe equipped with them brought a rush of memories of himself when he was stronger of body and mind.

"Legolas, why do you leave your _talan_?" Aragorn asked softly.

The two Men and the Dwarf reached out to support Legolas, who almost collapsed. It seemed the slightest bit of activity tired him quickly, but he held himself as best he could in his old splendor and spoke to his friends.

"If Merry and Pippin can still be saved, then I must go with you," Legolas said. "I made my vow to be of service to the Fellowship, and this honor I still hold."

Each of his friends gave one another brief glances, and from the looks of their eyes Legolas knew already their answer.

"Please, I may still be of value among you," Legolas said, and he hated how his voice shook.

"Legolas, my friend," Aragorn said. "You are always of great value to us all. But you are injured and must heal. Do not overburden yourself."

"But it is important I go with you," Legolas said.

"We will not be able to sleep with the fear that we are overwhelming your strength!" Gimli said.

"Our love for you runs deep, Legolas," Boromir said. "In short time we've known you we consider you as our brother. We cannot ask you to challenge your strength so soon."

Legolas kept his face masked, though power of their words cut him deep. Honorable they thought him, but the truth was that Legolas wished to venture out and be slain in hopes of ridding himself of the child, and possibly his own body as well. And though he begged to go with his friends, the need to leave quickly was heavy upon them, as the fates of the hobbits were still unknown. And in the end Legolas watched them leave, and with them also was gone his only chance at meeting the merciful arms of death.

When they were away, he abandoned all sense of pride and strength, and falling to the ground he wept and cursed himself and his fate. At last a couple of elves took pity on him, and gently, as though he were a small elfling, they ushered him back to his feet and led him back to his _talan_. Many elves looked away in disgust or pity, and many covered their ears to block out the noise, either Legolas's wails or the gently soothing sounds of the elves seeking to calm him.

* * *

Dinendal had much duty to attend to in Caras Galadhon, but he took to leave to the northern border once he was complete with his task, and in his time in the main city he had witnessed much concerning Legolas and his illness. Grieved he was, and struck with compassion for the suffering elf. The knowledge of Haldir's love for Legolas was known wide among the elves, and Dinendal in particular was saddened at the twist of fate for the lovers. He remembered running across them when Legolas was still well and strong. It was not hard to see why Haldir fell for him, for all the joy and spirit of the world was in Legolas's gaze and his every graceful step. He brought much joy in those whose hearts yearned for it, and his departure with the Fellowship was met with forlorn, for they would miss him and they knew not when would be his next visit.

The treatment of Legolas now could not have been any more different. Secretly several elves of Lothlórien wished the Mirkwood elf had gone, at least back to his own land, for they regarded him with suspicion and contempt. Yet many others took pity on him, such as Dinendal, offering their company if they caught him waddling near the _talan_, looking lost and alone; and his arm was outstretched to the tree, for even walking had become a terrible burden for him to endure. And Legolas refused much of their offers, though he took company of a very few. Haldir was not among them, for he was ordered to remain in his station. But with him Dinendal brought tidings of Legolas to Haldir, hoping it would settle his aching heart at hearing the news. Yet it only worsened his grief, and for the second time Haldir left his station without official leave.

"He refused our counsel and left!" Orophin said to Dinendal. "Surely he will be punished for this!"

"Lady Galadriel is kind," Dinendal said. "Surely she will understand how this is affecting him."

"Perhaps it would be better if Haldir left his guard duties for a time," Rúmil said. "How can one put concentration in their work when there is a greater need to be with a loved one?"

* * *

The stories of Legolas's ill health were worse when Haldir reached Caras Galadhon. Since the broken Fellowship left Lothlórien, Legolas was caught having panic attacks worse than the ones before. The desperate cries for help against the demon still occurred, but now they were mingled with the fits of panic.

Lord Celeborn took Haldir to a _talan_ up the highest tree, so that he could get a view of inside Legolas's own _talan_. There Legolas paced the floor of his room, submerged in another attack, and he shrieked long till his throat nearly tore, and he ripped at his hair and flailed his arms in desperation. The devastation and the utter helplessness of his pleas for Eru to end his agony sent a pain so grievous to Haldir that he nearly fainted. Lord Celeborn helped settle him back to his feet.

"This is why you cannot be here," he said. "Galadriel and I worry for your own health. There is a bond between you, though not solidified by a marriage bond, and being near him in this illness could destroy you along with him."

"But if I do not see him, he will fade completely," Haldir said. Legolas's screams could still be heard. "How long does this go on for?"

"It comes in waves," Lord Celeborn said. "Soon he will tire and he will collapse on the floor, and there he will remain till the next bout of panic seizes him."

"This is grave!" Haldir made to leave but Lord Celeborn grabbed his arm.

"Please, Haldir, consider your own health as well," he said. "Many of the elf maidens who help Legolas daily now leave his _talan_ in tears. Some who have grown fond of him have also fallen into grief. This curse is poisoning anyone who nears him."

"I love him," Haldir said. "I will endure anything for him." Then he left, his heart pounding in his chest.

When he entered Legolas's _talan_, it was to find the fading prince sitting limply in the corner on the floor. Like a broken doll he appeared, beautiful and damaged at once. He stared into an empty space before him as if in a trance, the tears frozen upon his cheeks, and he moved not to look at Haldir until he was a foot away from him. The haunted eyes lingered on him, and Haldir thought the eyes now appeared more grey than before.

"Well met, beloved," Haldir said. "I apologize for not coming sooner. I was insisted to return to my station, as I had told you, but I feel I am needed here more and to be with thee."

Legolas spoke not, yet his eyes told Haldir everything. Haldir's resolve finally broke, and he ran to Legolas. His arms wrapped around the prince and he hoisted him up, and kisses he showered over Legolas's face. The sudden contact triggered another attack, and Legolas thrashed against Haldir and screamed.

"Please, beloved! It is I, Haldir," he said. "I am not Glorfindel. I will not hurt you. Please, Legolas!"

He settled Legolas on the bed, and instantly he placed a hand upon Legolas's brow, and he sent a prayer to the Valar to calm Legolas's heart. He endured the agonized words that poured from Legolas's mouth, and his breaking heart he ignored for the sake of helping Legolas. In time his panic subdued, and Legolas lay limp on his bed. Thus the night passed in this manner. Haldir watched Legolas for the entire night, never falling into reverie himself. And just as Anar broke over the horizon, Haldir noticed that the tray of food set for Legolas the night before was still untouched.

* * *

After that seldom did Haldir let a day go by without spending it near Legolas. And though he was glad for this Legolas also wished Haldir did not see him in his current state. Each time his eyes met with Haldir's, full of love profound and infinite, the sense of his own filth choked Legolas. They will never wed under this situation. He had failed Haldir; he had shamed him, and it bewildered him that Haldir still gazed upon him with much respect and love. But he wished it would end, the calling from his heart to wed Haldir, for it remained still, though it felt no longer like a song beautiful and glad but that of a devastated broken cry.

More terrible still was the life within him, who each night Legolas pondered how he could kill the child, to save himself from the fear and the shame of revealing the news to Haldir.

But in the night, he was thankful for Haldir's company, who sat beside him as comfort. Yet even under his loving eyes, Legolas would see the demon staring at him from beneath the table. Many times he thought to tell Haldir, hoping he would be able to see him. But the hope was gone when Haldir made no inclination of seeing the demon even as it crawled close enough to the bed to sneer at Legolas, close enough for the prince to trace with his eyes the details of the demon's burned face.

The helplessness of his situation seeped into his every pore, poisoning him. Just a fortnight after his friends left to find the hobbits, Legolas no longer could get up from bed, and he refused to eat. But Haldir had no mercy on him. He forced each spoon into Legolas's mouth, begging him to fight the illness. And though Legolas despised him for not allowing him the chance to will his own death, also he was glad for it.

* * *

The nights were the most worrisome for Haldir, for it seemed to be the time when Legolas's illness peaked. He was there on the first night when Legolas was found screaming about the demons. Haldir knew not whether to believe Legolas's tale. Never had there been such heinous creatures found in Lothlórien, not during Lady Galadriel's rule of the land. Though there was Gollum, he did not go deep in the city.

Yet Haldir was hesitant to declare Legolas's claims as mere talk of madness. He could not deny the look of terror on Legolas's face brought fear in his own heart. He would watch, silently, as Legolas's eyes roamed slowly over the room. One night his head was turned as if someone was speaking to him on the other side of the bed, and his breathing was quick and shallow as if he was anticipating an unwanted touch. Haldir in that moment rested his hands on Legolas's shoulder and he gently laid him back on his bed.

Another time Legolas's gaze traced over the walls as if something crawled on them, and Haldir heard the frantic whispers, "Two! There are now two!" And with his heart pounding, Haldir gripped his sword and searched around, seeking for the precise place where Legolas's gaze had been, hoping to find the thing that brought his beloved much terror. He was willing to destroy whatever frightened Legolas, to chase away the demons, but each time he saw nothing, though few times he was staring right into the eyes of the demon without knowing.

No matter whether he himself saw them, Haldir worried for Legolas's stay in the _talan_, and he waited for Legolas to gain back enough strength before he settled on an idea.

* * *

"Legolas, how do you fare this evening?"

Slowly Legolas turned to Haldir, and he wondered - and not for the first time - if the other elf could see the demonic corpse that leered at them from across the room. Legolas's eyes welled with the tears and he glanced away. No matter how many times he attempted to make Haldir understand what he was seeing, it was always met with Haldir concluding it was by his own mind. And a part of Legolas hated Haldir for it, but that hatred was also mingled with love and grief. He wished he would not be alone in being able to see the terrifying monsters.

As Haldir took Legolas by the hand, he noted the clamminess of the skin. Gingerly he stepped closer, allowing himself to embrace the tearful prince. Legolas did not object to the embrace, but he also did not return it.

"You are so very cold, my love," Haldir said. "Is there anything you need? Another robe perhaps? Do you hunger? Would you like me to make for you anything?"

When Legolas did not respond, Haldir spoke again. "Why do you not speak with me? Have I offended thee? If my presence is no longer welcome, then tell me so and I shall leave you at peace."

"I desire nothing," Legolas croaked out. "Please, stay." His eyes glazed around the room once more, obsessively drawing out all around him each angle as if in search for something.

Haldir frowned, wishing Legolas had not this fear. He had worked long and hard to bring Legolas from the fringes of utter ruin. Legolas had grown strong enough to walk, if with a bit of difficulty. But he was not fully healed. He still cried about the demons at night. Also Haldir sensed a change had taken place inside Legolas. Haldir could not place it, but he sensed something was slowly poisoning his beloved even now, weeks since Legolas was rescued from the cave where Glorfindel committed his despicable acts.

Haldir came out of his contemplation, and he noted that Legolas was still turning his head this every direction, checking for signs of a threat. The sight unsettled and grieved Haldir.

"I believe I know precisely what it is you need right now," Haldir said, and he hoped his voice was full of enough merriment to draw Legolas's interest. "Come with me. I have a special surprise to show you. I remember it was something you wished to see when you had first visited."

When Legolas did not respond, Haldir gave a small sigh. He searched for an outer robe to wrap Legolas in, then taking his hand and kissing his brow, he led Legolas out of the _talan_.

Haldir could sense the resistance from Legolas, who hated more than anything being seen by the other elves. Yet Legolas followed him, his back and his shoulders hunched. A defeated image he portrayed, and for a moment Haldir considered being tough on Legolas, shaking him and commanding him to walk with his head high like the prince he was. But Haldir held his tongue, instead choosing kindness and mercy to steer Legolas away from any wandering eye. They slipped through the trees, far away from the main village.

In silence they walked through the forest, the rustling of the leaves their only company. There was a strange comfort in this, Haldir thought, for the forest offered them a chance to clear their mind and rest in solace. However, the darker the night grew, the worst Legolas became. He could no longer follow Haldir as the building of alarm quickly consumed him. He froze and toppled to the ground, his body shattered with the screams and terror ripping inside him. Haldir kneeled next to him, offering a hand or just his presence for support.

When the attack subsided, Haldir helped Legolas back on his feet, but the attacks returned twice more during their walk, and twice more Haldir stopped and allowed Legolas to go through his experience.

"I am sorry. Forgive me," Legolas said after Haldir helped him up for the third time that evening.

"It is nothing to be ashamed of," Haldir said. He stroked Legolas's hair, rubbing his cheek against the top of Legolas's head. The closeness was something he needed, Legolas realized, and he melted into the embrace.

"It is easier to suffer here than in the _talan_," Legolas said. "No one could hear me save for you. No one is watching either. It is safe here."

The pain returned to Haldir as the realization hit him: Legolas was looking for the demons even outside of the _talan_.

"There is nothing out here tonight that will ever hurt you," Haldir said. He could not stop himself from kissing Legolas again, wishing deeply that his kisses could take away Legolas's pain. "There is only beauty tonight, and that I must show you."

He took him to a small glade often used for picnics among the families of Lothlórien. There were none there tonight, and surrounding them were countless of flowers blossoming. Their beauty was unlike anything ever to be seen in Middle-earth, for the kinds were that only ever found in Valinor in Lórien. The sight was breath-taking, and Haldir thought, also romantic. The flowers seemed alive this night, gleaming in vivid silvers, violets, reds, and golds.

There was no need for candlelight to be lit here, for the flowers themselves offered light. The sight was too glorious to invite any fear or demons, and yet Legolas sat without a word or show of emotion.

"What is this place?" he asked simply as he stared at a silvery flower.

"I wanted to take you to the place where my parents always brought me when the flowers were all blossoming," Haldir said. "It was long before Orophin was born. This place always mesmerized me. Even back then, I found it the place I would bring the one I love to share this moment, as I am doing right now.

"You had told me, countlessly before, how much your heart desired to see Lothlórien when it was not in winter. We are at the first dawns of spring. You get to see my home as it is when the leaves have not turned to gold. In all my travels in this world, I have scarcely ever found a place more beautiful than here during this time of the year."

"This is my gift to you. I wish for thee to be with me here tonight."

Legolas was still throughout Haldir's confession. He sat cross-legged and his eyes bloodshot from the tears. But he spoke none to Haldir.

"There is no beauty here," Legolas said at last. His voice was flat and laced with bitterness.

Haldir felt a cold stab through his heart, but when he looked up, he met Legolas's wide eyes. Legolas wiped away at the tears, which did not cease.

"I see no beauty!" he said again. "Where have you taken me? There is only death here. I cannot look upon anything without feeling their mortality! Seeing their death! Even Lady Galadriel I see her spirit dim! They will wither and disappear from this world, but ever is their fate better than mine! I must be chained to this dying world and feel every pulse of her still, yet I must bear to have my heart still beat when deep inside I have long withered and ceased!"

"Legolas, speak not these words!"

Haldir reached out for him, collecting Legolas into his arms. The elf cried fretfully in his protective arms, his shoulders quivering with the agony. And Haldir grieved. He had hoped the sight of sheer beauty would awaken the life and joy inside Legolas's heart, but now he felt foolish for ever thinking it would heal him.

"It was a mistake bringing you here," Haldir said. "Forgive me, Legolas."

"It is no mistake," spoke a third voice. Haldir turned to Lord Elrond, who had just stepped into the glade.

"My lord," Haldir bowed as much as he could while still supporting Legolas.

"Haldir, well met," Lord Elrond said. "Lady Galadriel said I would most likely find you two here, for of course she has seen you take Legolas into these woods.

"Legolas's body is fighting with all he had endured. He will not see beauty no matter their greatness at this point. It was the same with Lady Celebrían. I tried all I could to spark joy in her heart, but none could save her. I had to let her go in the end."

"Is this the fate Legolas must face?"

"He should have died long before now, had this been a simple case," Lord Elrond said. "With the curse put on him, we know nothing of what to expect. But it is clear to us that his mind could break while in this fragile state.

"Haldir, I ask that when the time comes, and it is soon, for you to let go of Legolas. His needs can be given elsewhere at this point. I must take him with me to Imladris to heal him. And the sooner we depart, the better it will be for him."

Though Haldir could not bear the thought of giving Legolas away, he gave a nod for he knew Lord Elrond to be wise in his words.

"You will not be separated from him for long. Lady Galadriel wishes to speak with you before you may join us."

"Yes, certainly," Haldir said as he felt his heart sink.

Back to the _talan_ they made their way, with hearts heavier than before. It was hard to discern how Legolas felt from this news, for he rarely showed any reaction. It grieved everyone to think that Legolas had accepted his illness, and most of all Haldir. His own heart was crushing at the thought of having to let go of his beloved, even if it be a day or a week or a month.

Lady Galadriel joined them just moments after they reached the _talan_. Haldir knew not whether he should remain as the Lady of Light spoke with Lord Elrond, but as neither excused him to leave, he remained standing against the wall. He figured Legolas might need his presence for this little bit longer. Legolas sat on the bed and watched the two leaders deep in their discussion, his head tilted to the side as if he was held by but a string. He turned his head towards Haldir, and a stabbing pain shot through him as he peered into the empty, haunted pools that were Legolas's eyes.

Legolas was moved to lie on his back atop his bed, and Lady Galadriel examined him. It was with such care that she pressed on various points of his body, yet Legolas seemed to slowly shatter more under their gentle probing. When she pressed against his abdomen, a few tears escaped Legolas, and he turned his head away from Haldir and Elrond.

"Is he in pain?" Haldir wondered. "What injury does he hold in his stomach?"

"This too will heal." Lady Galadriel's voice hung in the air long after she spoke the words, her fingers brushing against the small scar on Legolas's lower abdomen. Legolas stared into her eyes for a long while as though to seek an answer silently, but he turned his head away again, wishing to hide himself from all the eyes that were upon him in that moment.

After their examination was completed they spoke of the arrangements, all while Haldir was still ignored. He took the time to study Legolas's face, watching where he eyes went and wondering whether the demons had returned to torment him. But if he was seeing anything, Legolas showed no sign. After his last contact with Lady Galadriel he had fallen into a state of deep reverie, it seemed, and he gave no heed to any words that anyone else spoke. But when Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond had left, and Haldir made to follow them, he caught Legolas's pleading eyes.

"Will you stay beside me tonight?" he asked softly.

"Of course," Haldir said.

* * *

The day of Legolas's departure had arrived. Lady Galadriel had spoken with him privately of his duties, which he accepted. She was not angered by his rash behavior in the recent past, and as Rúmil had hoped, she allowed him to leave his duties as guard to remain with Legolas.

But even with the knowledge that they would be together again, Haldir was finding it nearly impossible to let Legolas go. So vulnerable Legolas was, and so determined Haldir was to keep him under his wing and not let go. But in the end, he led Legolas to the carriage where Lord Elrond awaited them. Throughout their walk Legolas spoke not a word. It had become normal for him to remain silent, at times sending Haldir a notion that perhaps his presence was unwelcome. But Legolas's request for Haldir to stay near him would always come, and Haldir always accepted, though often their moments together were filled with silence, or at times, Legolas's tears, which he sought to hide away from Haldir, was the only sound Haldir would hear during their time together.

"Good morning," Lord Elrond said. He nodded to Legolas. "Are you ready to depart from Lothlórien, Legolas?"

Legolas looked up to meet Elrond's eyes, and his own were filled with tears. "Would I going to Mirkwood instead," he said. "I cannot bear to be here without my family."

The kind smile Lord Elrond wore faltered for but a moment. "I understand your grief of not being with your family right now, my child, but do not worry. You will be among those who love you. You must heal under my care before your father can see you again."

"Will you tell him of all that has befallen me?" Legolas asked.

Lord Elrond hesitated before speaking. "He does not know and perhaps will not for a time. I do not think it wise to break him such news while he is far from you. He fought long over his grief over his wife's death. I fear the news of your illness could be what ends his life."

"So you would let him live in blind bliss that I am well and helping to restore Middle-earth from the evils of this world?"

"That is not our intent."

"But my home is closer to here than Imladris. Why take me back past Moria and the mountains? Bring me back to my family so I may bury myself back in my rooms as I had done after my mother's death. You can treat me there. You are no stranger to my land."

His voice shook from the crying, but Legolas no longer felt shame. He let his tears roll and his body tremble. A large warm hand sought his as another, a different hand, settled on his shoulder.

"Were it in my power, I would take you there," Lord Elrond said. "But the road to your home is very dangerous at this time. As we speak Dol Guldur grows more turbulent. I wish not to risk your life, for you have gone through enough perils already. The road to Imladris, though also not free of its own dangers, teems less with the filth we would find were we to go east. I will protect you there. You need to come lest your grief destroys your body."

After Elrond left them to offer some private time between them, Haldir whispered in Legolas's ear. "I will send your King a letter of your condition. I will not reveal all, but just the information you wish me to reveal to him."

Legolas looked for Lord Elrond, then seeing that the elf lord was not watching him, he pulled out a folded parchment and pushed it against Haldir's hand. Haldir took it quickly and pocketed it.

"I want him to know I am with Elrond, and my wounds are to be healed," Legolas said. "You may read it if you wish. If you give this to him, tell him I apologize for my failure."

"It is no failure, Legolas!"

But Legolas turned and followed Lord Elrond to the open carriage. It was of simple built yet in the eyes of Men it appeared as a magnificent throne for kings, for it was wrought in silver and gold. By the hands of Lothlórien's greatest smiths it was crafted, and meant for Legolas's journey back to Rivendell.

"It will not be long before I join you," Haldir said after Legolas was seated. "You will find me near you for so long you will sicken of me." He watched for the smile that never came. Then unable to stop himself, he reached out for Legolas's hand. "Please, my beloved. Hold on to this life. There is far more beauty in this world than you will imagine. I will not be long, I promise you."

Legolas turned to him slowly, and with his free arm he wrapped it over his abdomen. "Some beauties are a curse."

"Do not say that, I urge you," Haldir said, and studying Legolas's other arm, he wondered again of the injury to his stomach. "I brought you a gift."

Still keeping one hand over Legolas's, Haldir produced a flower from his pouch. He placed it on Legolas's lap. "This I brought from the glade I had taken you to a few nights ago. Take this to remember me, please."

Even when cut the flower seemed to give its own light. Like an intricate object made by hands of great elven smiths it appeared, but no expression was shown on Legolas's face as he studied it.

"It will die soon," he said.

"Then I pray it will take away your pain with it," Haldir said. "I will not tell you farewell for I expect to see you very soon. Please hold your chin up. Your pain will soon end."

Lord Elrond was already settled beside Legolas, and he bade Haldir a goodbye until their next meeting. Then with a command to the horses they were off. Haldir felt Legolas's hand tense, then suddenly Legolas was grabbing Haldir's hand as if to mean not to let him go. But in a few moments his hand slipped away, pulled away from Haldir by the carriages. Haldir caught Legolas staring at him for a moment before his head turned in the direction of Mirkwood. To that place he kept his gaze till he was out of Haldir's sight.

Alone in the glade, Haldir stepped back till he was against a tree, and silently he let his tears fall.

* * *

His affairs Haldir was certain to be done with as soon as he could. He spoke with Orophin and Rúmil, and to them he passed his duties as captain of the guards in the northern borders.

Before he left, he read over the letter Legolas wrote to his father the King Thranduil. Haldir was uncertain how to proceed, or indeed how Thranduil would react to a such a letter. Little did Legolas write in it, but even Haldir thought the letter spoke of many things that none had yet knowledge of, and this concerned him.

_Father, _

_I was wounded while in the service for Lord Elrond. I am under his care, and my wounds are not fatal. I will tell you more upon my return. Forgive me of what I may bring to you. _

_Legolas_

Haldir debated whether he should send the note, uncertain if this indeed was an appropriate note to send to the king. Were he King Thranduil, he would have left immediately at news of his son's perilous injury.

At the very last moment, Haldir took the note with him and sought one of the younger guards of the northern borders.

"This note must be given to King Thranduil," Haldir said. "Tell him nothing more of what had happened, but assure him, if he inquires, that he is healing and doing well."

The guard nodded. He placed the note in the pouch of his carry-bag, and off he went.

"Perhaps I should have gone instead," Haldir thought. "But the road to King Thranduil's halls would take many days, perhaps longer with the growing danger, and I promised to join with Lord Elrond and Legolas as soon as I could, and several days have already passed." Thus he prepared for his journey and left, bidding a goodbye to his parents and to his brothers last before mounting his steed; giving the command, he rushed off.

* * *

To King Thranduil the note was never received. The guard had journeyed well, and though young in years he knew to pick a path free of the danger that plagued the other roads. But the path provided an illusion of safety, and as he passed by a thicket of trees, he caught sight of a mane of golden hair before he was mauled to death.

His fingers still covered with fresh blood, Glorfindel kneeled beside the fallen elf. And in his hands he read, and reread over obsessively, the note Legolas wrote to his father. With the blood on his fingers he smeared across Legolas's name


	8. Chapter 7 : Prayer of a Fading Elf

On the first day of their journey, all was quiet between them. Legolas sat with his head turned towards the direction of his home, which pained Lord Elrond though he decided not to comment on the matter. But when the carriage turned left and Mirkwood lay behind them, Legolas turned back around and rested with his head in his hands. The soft sobs could be heard but vaguely every now and again, but Lord Elrond waited for their first break to speak.

"Please, dear Legolas, you must eat," Lord Elrond said. "You need to relax. No harm will follow you here."

Legolas shook his head, and the small slices of bread and cheese was rejected.

"Not even this small amount? This food only fits the palm of my hand - can you not eat this? That is all I ask from you."

"I desire nothing."

"But you need your strength for the journey."

"I do not want to reach Rivendell. I want to die here."

Lord Elrond settled the pieces down on the plate and he regarded Legolas with somber eyes. "Surely you do not wish this, Legolas. There is much good in this world. Your family and your home, and the love you found in Haldir of Lórien. You have so much to live for. In time the clouds will part and your heart will be lightened again."

"How can you promise this? Did you promise the same to Lady Celebrían?"

Lord Elrond regarded him again, and for a moment Legolas winced in regret of his words. But the prince remained silent, and finding this first conversation a failed attempt, Lord Elrond gather their supplies before commanding the horses to pull the carriage once more. Legolas fell into the silent agony of before, and Lord Elrond, though not angered by Legolas's earlier words, was finding it difficult to reach out to him. There was much that troubled him, and so much of it Legolas kept away from them, Lord Elrond sensed. To get him to reveal all would take a very long time, and even then, not all secrets may be known to him. He needed only to give his utmost support and love to the suffering elf.

When the sun settled and the night grew dark, a madness seemed to settle inside Legolas. He glanced about him in frantic worry, muttering under his breath. Lord Elrond watched quietly, waiting to see what he may gain from this observation. He had heard and watched Legolas a few times already during his panic attacks, but never could he gleam anything beyond the same mad mutterings of previous episodes.

"What ails you, prince?" he whispered, for he could no longer bear the sight of Legolas under so much pain. He placed a hand on Legolas's shoulder and he brought his other hand before Legolas's eyes. "Do you see this? This is Vilya, one of the three great elven rings. It will protect us. There are no demons here to hurt you so long as I wear this."

But the words did nothing to calm Legolas, so lost was he in this terror. And the longer this went, the more grieved and desperate Lord Elrond became. The sight before him was far too familiar. He was moved to embrace Legolas. "Weep not, child," he said, and in his mind he played out again a once painful scene similar to this: "Weep not, Celebrían my love, weep not."

* * *

The journey was long and tiresome for Legolas, whose body could not bear travel over so long a distance. In time he accepted Lord Elrond's meals, who urged him to eat if only a little. It was all his body could accept, and strangely he was glad that elven bread could satiate him over a long time.

Yet still Legolas wished for the death of his child, and as they crossed more perilous paths he imagined orcs shooting at his abdomen arrows dipped with poison. Yet the thought of losing the child also grieved him, and in particular whenever he thought of the fair face of Haldir. His confusion in combination of everything else maddened him so deeply he wondered how he managed not to fling himself off the carriage. Something kept him rooted to his seat though his heart screamed to end his life.

There were times when he feared looking out the carriage, especially during the night, for he knew the demons were still following them. And when his body fell into reverie, he often imagined the hands groping for him. And the panic as the memory of the cave would seize him. He awoke a few times to seeing that in his sleep he had attacked Lord Elrond, who very patiently had sought to calm him.

"Please, Legolas. There is nothing to hurt you here," the elf lord reminded him.

"You do not understand," Legolas thought. "They follow me as a shadow, but no light can chase them away."

He would shun out Lord Elrond, but also at times he pulled the elf closer to him, and in his arms he would weep and tremble. He heard Lord Elrond call him mistakingly Lady Celebrían and it grieved him further. He knew of the tale of what happened to Imladris's Lady, and he envied her for she was lucky to be able to sail to Valinor. He would remain here despite his spirit's wish, and with each moment the agony intensified.

"Will there ever be a deliverance for my pain?" he asked Lord Elrond one night, perhaps the first time he initiated the conversation. It pleased Lord Elrond so much that he stopped what he was doing to give his full attention to Legolas.

"Yes, there will be," Lord Elrond said. "That day will come, fear not, and you will be all the more happy for it. Your life will have been any sweeter!"

He smiled, but the look Legolas gave him was cold and emotionless.

"A complete cure to this misery? I do not believe you. This disease will eat me alive! Greatly does my spirit desire shedding this flesh! Why can I not have this relief? Why must I suffer in this body? Away with it! It is damaged! It is useless! It must be done away with! I no longer love it nor the trouble it has given me! My life is nothing but a string of agony! A death in my family sends me ill for decades! Getting fucked by dozens of men and orcs is enough to shatter me! Tell me, Lord! Why do I bother still to live? Nothing am I but a shame to my kingdom!"

Legolas tracked his nails across his arms, but Lord Elrond's hand gently pried him away from further damaging himself. Legolas swat at Elrond and just then another attack seized him. He cried and shrieked, not caring if his voice would attract orcs or any servant of Sauron. And he cursed all of Eä and the Valar, and from Eru he pleaded for death. He ripped out his hair and shrieked till he wore himself out. Then he collapsed unto the floor of the carriage, crumbled in a heap, and the sound that followed was a soft sobbing that rubbed - like salt to a wound - the ringing silence that followed after his shrieks.

During all this Lord Elrond merely watched him, saying nothing for he was stunned into silence by the display of utter helplessness before him. The only thing that moved in Lord Elrond was the tear rolling down his cheek.

* * *

Elladan and Elrohir arrived in Imladris about a day before Lord Elrond had come. The others told them of where their father was, and in confusion and worry they sat waiting for him.

And so it was that they, while leaning against the rail of a balcony, he watched as a silver and golden carriage stopped before the Last Homely House, and Lord Elrond led a limping elf inside.

"What have we just witnessed, brother?" Elrohir said.

"I know not," Elladan said. "From far away I cannot tell who this elf may be, but did you sense the agony inside him? Surely the bitterness of death is at hand." His voice trembled lightly, and Elrohir nodded.

"I fear what befell our mother befell this elf as well," Elrohir said. "In soon time the _fëa_ shall depart from the _hröa_."

"Where is Arwen?"

"Do not worry. I spoke with her just this morning, so it is not her. She is safe." But as to the identity of the elf neither could find an answer, and both growing worried, they set out to find their father.

They followed the sound of their father's voice; though he spoke softly to the damaged elf, the keen hearing of the twins were still able to pick up the whisper, and it was not long before they stood by the doorway of the patient's room. But in that moment they were seized by a sudden shyness, for they were uncertain if they knew the elf nor whether they should probe into the privacy of the victim. And looking into each others eyes they silently agreed to wait for their father to come out.

It was some time before Lord Elrond left the room, the scent of lavender upon him and the air. He caught sight of his sons, whose eyes rested on him with desperate questions. And the elf lord was jolted back to a time hundreds of years past, when a similar scene played out, and the twins and Arwen waited for him to speak of their mother's state.

Finally Elladan spoke. "Who was it this time, father?"

Lord Elrond shook his head and said gently. "I must speak to you both. I fear there is a mission neither of you will enjoy but must partake."

* * *

The fire in the hearth could not bring warmth in Elladan or Elrohir. They sat in silence for a long while, digesting all their father had told them. In their hearts were agony at the thought of what their father had asked from them, and Lord Elrond knew how this mission would affect them. He could guess what each of them thought as they sat in stunned silence, remembering the days of their youth running into the arms of a gentle, spirited Glorfindel; and off they would go envying the golden locks, wishing their hair was golden rather than dark as night. Indeed Glorfindel was the light of Rivendell in the olden days, a great elven warrior but an even greater friend. It pained Lord Elrond to know what had befallen a close friend and ally to him. It was doubly painful for the twins; though they were ready to chase after the orcs who tormented their mother, to chase after Glorfindel was an entirely different affair for them.

"If Glorfindel knew of the curse that poisoned him, he would want his life to end, for only that will end the possible suffering of others," Lord Elrond said.

"I cannot bear to think of sending an arrow to his heart," Elrohir said.

"He will kill you if you hesitate! As more people learn of the demon inside him, he will not spare anyone! The demon requires the freedom to gorge on whatever victim he chooses; he was discovered already by many of the Fellowship, and should he seek revenge on them the quest will have been all for naught. All of Lothlórien knows. All of Imladris will know. This is for the safety of others more than anything. Do you want there to be more suffers like Legolas? For surely rape is one of the things this demon enjoys being in the body of Glorfindel.

"It will pain you to hear this, but Lord Glorfindel's spirit is just as much destroyed as Legolas at this point. He will not want to suffer if he knew what his body had done against his own free will. I urge you both to seek him in the wilderness and end his nightmare. He will be thankful for it, I assure you."

Then slowly Elladan and Elrohir stood up in agreement. They took an oath to find Glorfindel, but the words spoken were broken by the agony of having to kill a close friend. Then they left to think more of the manner, and Lord Elrond, feeling the weight of the past several days finally hit him, collapsed back on his chair, and he rubbed his temples with shaking fingers.

* * *

No time did Lord Elrond waste once they had settled in Imladris. There were many things of knowledge that the elves, descended from the Noldor, had here, many of which it was said was knowledge brought from the Blessed Realms. And he set to work on the scented reeds, which when placed in Legolas's room gave an aroma that settled his nerves greater than any droughts he had thus far drunk. Many of these were placed near his head on the bedside table, and their effect was so great that Legolas fell into deep sleep that sent a calming spell on him.

His periods of rest were filled with dreams, neither beautiful nor terrible. It was as though the scented reeds wished him to recall all from his past, and he would return to Mirkwood of being in his mother's arms while just a small elfling, to gently pushing Haldir against a tree as his lips sought his.

At first he woke with tears in his eyes, though it was not from any anguish that Glorfindel nor the demon had inflicted on him. And he would lie there, numb and unfeeling, and recall the snippets of his past. So vivid they appeared in his dreams that he awoke to the sound of his sister laughing only to find himself in the empty room. And he wondered how this was to be part of his healing.

One morning he awoke to the presence of others close to him, and he was startled, thinking them the demons of Lothlórien having found him. But his mind cleared and he saw they were Elladan and Elrohir. They spoke with him for a time, and he welcomed their company though also he sensed there was tension between the twins. He prodded them and soon he came to learn that they were stalling to leave Imladris to hunt down Glorfindel. Hearing the misery in their voices as they confessed this set his heart ablaze.

"He has damaged more than any elf or man or any free being can be damaged!" Legolas said. "A merciful death is the least he deserves!"

"You did not know Lord Glorfindel from before he was possessed," Elrohir said. "You would have loved him. He was greater than even what the tales said of him."

Legolas thought of the sneer on the wicked elf's face as he shoved his member deep in Legolas's throat, laughing coldly as Legolas gagged and fought for breath.

Elladan had to pry his brother away as Legolas shrieked at them, thrashing in attempt to strike Elrohir for his defense of Glorfindel.

The twins, sensing no reason to remain, finally left Rivendell after their talk with the prince. Legolas watched them from the balcony of his room, his eyes bloodshot with the recently shed tears. He had no time to apologize for his petty behavior, and the twins seemed to avoid looking at his direction.

Among the ones who bid them farewell was Arwen, and she seemed to have sensed Legolas's gaze upon them, for she turned and met the sad eyes of the elf. And in her eyes Legolas saw deep compassion. All too soon she broke the contact and slipped back into the house. Legolas turned back to the twins, and he worried for them, for he did not think either were still willing to strike Glorfindel when the time came.

The thought of the twins still holding love for the wicked elf grieved him, and as he wept he did not hear Arwen approaching him.

"Do not cry, beloved prince," came her voice, a soothing salve to his wounded spirit.

"Why did you come here? Do I not repulse you as well?" Then looking up he felt her spirit and a dawning came on him. "You are more mortal than the others! What has happened?"

Arwen did not answer him, but she took his hand and gently led him to his bed. "You need rest. I know how terrible your pain is. Do not fault Elladan and Elrohir. They grieved for you, and when they decided to leave it was so no further suffering will befall anyone. They will hunt for Glorfindel."

Legolas settled down. "They did not appear glad to do it."

"Neither would I be glad if I was asked to kill someone I saw as kin," Arwen said. "But they will do this, for you, for they love you as if you are one of their brothers. And I love you and wish for you to rest."

She motioned for him to rest his head, and Legolas reluctantly obeyed. Arwen poured more lavender oil to the small tray, allowing the scent to fill the room. Then she returned to Legolas's side; and settling on a chair beside his bed, she placed her hands upon Legolas's brow. The touch was cool and wet, and Legolas perceived that Arwen had dipped her fingers in the oil.

Gently she rubbed from the center of his brow to his temples, then she slid her hand through his hair, careful not to cause pain for the hair had been tangled from the lack of care Legolas took on it. Legolas winced in embarrassment for neglecting his appearance, but it did not bother Arwen. With a smile, she searched for the hairbrush through the cabinet, and she returned to her task. His scalp was rubbed in slow circular motions that released the tension in his shoulders. Arwen did this with one hand as the other brushed through his hair, and she sang quietly. As soft and gentle as her voice had always been, it was now more soothing with this song. And with the scent of lavender everywhere about him, and the coolness of the oil rubbed against his scalp, Legolas was lulled into reverie.

His memory took him to the forest in which he ran. Very tall the trees were in the eyes of the small elf child who laughed as he sped on, chasing the sunlight that peeked through the gaps in the canopy of green leaves. In his excitement to glimpse more of the sun he did not see where he was going, and he tripped over a protruding branch which had broken from a nearby tree. His cheeks brazed against the sticks and leaves, and feeling the sting on his cheek, he could not stop his lips from quivering. The tears fell.

His name was called out and soon he was pulled to a sitting position. Glancing up he saw his father and mother, both looking very much worried. When they deemed he was not seriously hurt, his mother collected him into her arms and sang softly as she and her husband resumed their walk. Legolas clung to her, and over her shoulder he regarded the trees with fear and hatred. This his mother sensed, for she approached one of the trees.

"They will not hurt you, Little Leaf," she said.

She placed his hands on the tree trunk, and Legolas then felt, rather than heard, the voice of the tree singing lovingly to him. And he felt bad for thinking so lowly of the trees before, and he reached out to kiss it. The elvenqueen laughed at her child's affection, and she carried him over to where the king sat, who watched them with eyes full of love.

Legolas settled in his mother's arms and watched them, admiring how beautiful they looked. His father, proud and mighty with his crown, and his mother with her hair like honey under the sunlight. He was lulled into sleepiness by their gentle voices as they spoke amongst themselves and by his mother stroking his hair, which had already grown past his shoulders.

And the scene changed, and the one who was now stroking his hair, her soft voice humming a tune, was not his mother but Arwen. Legolas lay still and tried to hide the tears.

* * *

The tears were not lost to Arwen. She finished her song, deeming her task complete. She spoke to him once more, assuring him that his pains will subside. Then she left him to mull over everything he had seen in his dream.

It troubled her that he slept with his eyes shut. Not even the half-elven slept like mortals, and she wondered if this was a sign of him having lost the grace of the Eldar.

She vowed to remain beside him and help him during this troubling time. And Legolas welcomed her, though she caught him studying her with much sadness. Whether it was because she had chosen the path of Men or because she was neither his mother nor sisters, she was uncertain.

"I know I can not replace them, but I will do all I can to help you," she thought. She helped him to bathe, at least to aid him from getting up from bed and walk to the bath. She helped with washing only if he asked; and as he soaked in the water, she busied herself in his room. The bedsheets she aired out, and she made the bed and laid out fresh clothes for him. Scattered about were also her things, for she spent much time in his room. Seeing this, it both made her father glad and sad, for the memory of Lady Celebrían's suffering was reopened with the fresh wound of this new victim.

Among the things Arwen brought with her were books, which she offered Legolas. Legolas took them gladly yet it seemed he took too long a time to read just one page. This was rather unusual for him, for Arwen remembered him to be a lover of stories.

One of her earliest, and fondest memories, of Legolas was crawling onto her lap, excitedly peeking at the pages she was reading. He was still too young to read, but the pictures pleased him. Yet on this particular page was an illustration of Celebrimbor's body as he was carried during the Battle of Last Alliance; and Arwen placed her hand over the illustration in fear of it frightening the elfling. Instead she pretended to read the tale to him, changing the events to turn Celebrimbor into a great hero who defeated the villain, married a fair maiden, and had many heirs.

She smiled as she recalled that day while the small tears rolled down her cheeks. The memory was broken suddenly at the small cry of pain. Legolas leaned against the doorway. Though his wounds were healed, his strength was minimal. Even on the days when he ate, it seemed his body's strength was failing. He had lost too much weight, and Lord Elrond and she hoped Haldir would return soon, for he alone seemed to push Legolas to feed enough to grow strong.

Seeing Legolas now, she rushed to him and patiently walked him back to his bed.

* * *

Arwen's company Legolas much appreciated. She never flinched when she touched him, unlike the maidens who helped him wash in Lothlórien. Though gentle she was, there was a strength inside her that he felt clearly now. In many ways she was human, one who endured and reformed with the waves of stress. How lucky the mortal men were, Legolas thought, to be flexible as to change and reform their lives. The elves were far too rigid that enough pressure could snap them in half.

There was also a sadness in her that he could detect, but it was not caused by him. For hours at a time they would sit quietly in his room, him resting and Arwen sewing nearby, and each were occupied with the thought of the one they loved most. He told her tidings of Aragorn despite the memory of the Fellowship's rejection still paining him.

"Elladan and Elrohir were to meet with him along with some of the Rangers from the North," Arwen said.

"Will they now?"

Arwen tensed. "That I do not now know."

"They had a change of plans, I know." And Legolas did not ask further.

* * *

There was some blessing in being in Rivendell, Legolas decided. Lord Elrond and his children were half-elven, and their blood that which came from the line of Men brought them immunity to the anguish that Legolas's soul breathed into the world. And even outside of them, many of the residents were of the old great Noldor, and they had seen so much peril in their time that Legolas's own sorrows did not crush them the way it had with the elves of Lothlórien.

But perhaps what Legolas loved most about them was that in their eyes was none of the pity or disgust from the wood elves, but great respect as though he were their equal even in illness. They spoke to him as though he were still a mighty prince (and is still a mighty prince, they would often remind him), and this brought peace in him in ways he had not felt since his rescue from the cave. He was not a patient here but one of them, one of the elves who went about their days during the final eras of the elves on Middle-earth.

From their love and acceptance, Legolas found enough strength to leave his rooms to roam among them. They aided him only when he asked for it. In time, he found the strength to move on his own despite the fatigue pulling him down. When he did not spend time with Arwen, he ventured out to the library of Rivendell, and there in the stillness of the vast reading rooms he would pull up any book and read.

But reading was not the activity that it once was. Many times he turned down the story if it was too sad, wishing to instead find stories with a happier ending; but seldom did the history of the elves have a happy ending, and no hope could he wish to find in the pages of a book. Yet he kept them close and read them, or studied the illustrations in mesmerization. By chance he came across an illustration of Celebrimbor's body impaled on a pole and his body stricken with arrows. He studied the picture intently, tracing the lines of blood and the staring into the anguished face of the elven smith. Too grievous was this tale, and till now he preferred the story Arwen told him hundreds of years ago. But he read the actual story now, realizing with a strange pang in his gut that he had bore witness to the single ring that Celebrimbor fought against; and even more, had laid his eyes on one of the rings the great elf had forged.

"If a mere ring can protect the realm of elven kings, then is there not a ring capable of ridding evil inside oneself?" Legolas thought. "For then what good is a protected land if one of its inhabitants is suffering?"

Legolas turned to watch the light drizzle of rain prattling against the glass windows. He thought of the Fellowship who had become his friends, united by an evil ring. And also he thought of how, for not this ring, he would have never met Haldir. "Perhaps the terrible ring could bring good into the world," he thought. "But it is cruel, for I found my heart's twin yet I cannot be his, for an evil has stricken me!"

He remembered Haldir holding his hand before they parted, and his heart cried out for the elf. "Oh, where is Haldir? He promised not to be far behind us, but it has been more than a week since we arrived in Rivendell and still he has not come!" And he agonized through the evening whether Haldir was killed while on his journey, or if he chose not to come at all.

Thus went the sessions in the library. Legolas was slipping back into his madness. Though he did not see the shadowed demons, for he was often asleep or focused his conversations with Arwen or Elrond when he was awake, he sensed their presence near him constantly. He did not need fingers reaching out for him to feel cornered. They were still there, beside him. Leering and waiting to get him.

During one afternoon, the fear rose inside that suddenly he may see them, for he was alone and sat isolated far from the others in the library. He covered his face in his hands. Long he wept, for the desperation of his situation and for Haldir's absence and for the constant fear of the demons. He thought he could feel someone approaching him, and he froze, unable to move yet unable to stop his tears.

The voice that spoke was low yet pleasant and very elven. "I was looking for this book that you have here. May I borrow this and trade you for this one instead? I need it for only today."

Legolas mumbled, "yes," and he looked up only when Erestor had his back to him. He watched as the elf walked away and glanced away only when Erestor disappeared from his view.

Legolas had spoke little with Lord Elrond's Chief Counsellor throughout the years, but their relationship was peaceful and their friendship mild and distant. Something about his condition seemed to bring a change in the elf. In effort to get him to gain weight, Legolas was invited to dine with Lord Elrond, and there also sat Arwen and the many elf lords and counsellors, as well as guests to the land. A few times he caught Erestor scrutinizing him. He was not one for showing grand displays of emotion, but neither was he stoic. Before his rape Legolas found Erestor to be rather pleasant in his own way. He was discreet in his speech and dedicated to his work. Mild-mannered he was and also factual, if not at times a little pessimistic. Yet Legolas trusted him, for Erestor was not one to twist tales or boast of his own achievements, which Legolas heard was many though Erestor never spoke of them.

He turned to the book Erestor left on his desk. Here was something he was unfamiliar with regarding Erestor. Was there meaning behind this action? Noticing the bookmark protruding from the pages, Legolas wondered if this was meant for him to see. But what book was this? There was no title visible on the cover, and neither any illustration to indicate what could be in it.

Legolas slipped his index finger into the page with the bookmark, and with his thumb he clasped a corner of the book. His heart raced at the thought of what he may see inside. Was there a message written for him only; or perhaps inside was the story of Glorfindel's deeds meant to change his mind about the rape. Or perhaps Erestor somehow discovered the identity of the demons and wished for Legolas to read the article. After his time spent in darkness and uncertainty Legolas liked not the idea of not knowing. He wondered if Erestor had a darker streak in him and perhaps wished to traumatize him with an illustration of a fell beast.

But Legolas pushed that out of his mind and took a deep breath. He flipped to the page. Before him were stanzas written in Quenya. Though not a language he normally spoke, he understood it for it was taught to him in Mirkwood. His fingers traced through the words that made up the stanzas, and he surveyed the length of this piece, which was surprisingly shorter than the others in the book; then bringing the book closer towards him, he read:

_Eru Ilúvatar, hear Thee my cry! _

_Fill with Thy light the emptiness _

_Which plagues my heart, _

_Become my hope for I have none left, _

_Become my strength for I am weakened, _

_Become my deliverance for I have grief._

_Thou has become my last flicker of light!_

Legolas read the prayer again, and he wiped the tears away. The words, though simple, were quite beautiful; they seemed to have bore straight into his heart.

It was a prayer written by a fading elf, one who suffered just as he had. As Legolas held the book close to him, he wondered as to the identity of the elf, of what he or she had experienced, of the agony that breathed such profound words to repeat, over and over, to the One. And here he was, Legolas thought, who had cried out for Eru to take him away from the world, rather than call for His aid in his path back to good health.

He searched for a spare sheet of parchment, and gathering around ink and a quill he copied the words to the parchment before leaving. He did not see Erestor to thank him, but he made a mental note to do so the next time he saw Erestor.

He knew the prayer alone would not cure his illness. The words of one of his teachers long ago reached his mind: "Eru does not correct our wrongs, but He may show you the way, if you ask and ask deep enough in your heart." So Legolas slipped into his room and reread the prayer, then once more, this time by uttering the words out loud, his voice like a humming of a bee in his empty room. He repeated the prayer, speaking slowly and from his heart till the tears would not stop. Then setting the paper aside, he raised his palms up to the heavens and whispered, "Please, Eru, I cannot take this. Please, help me. Let me rest in Your palms and feel no more sorrow. If I am to fade, then let me leave this world soon. But if my fate is not to die, then show me what I must do, for I am lost in the dark."

Then casting aside the parchment, he slipped under the bedcovers. As he waited for sleep to come, he hummed quietly to himself. Before the tranquil darkness overcame him, he wondered again where Haldir was, and how very much he wished he was there to hold his hand.

* * *

After bidding farewell to his loved ones, Haldir left Lothlórien without another glance. The thought of Legolas's agony propelled him on, and he stopped only when his horse Faeloth grew tired. The roads he could see, from his many ventures outside of Lady Galadriel's land, had changed much since the war stirred. The roads were darker and occupied by foul orcs and uruk-hai. But he was trained well in the Lothlórien army. He knew where to rest and keep himself invisible to the orcs.

But the number of enemies grew by the day, and Haldir was finding his journey dragged down by the frequent instances of forcing to change his route. One evening he settled Faeloth well hidden away from the path, and after speaking softly to his horse, his hand stroking the grey horses's silvery mane, he left his steed behind. Haldir climbed up the tallest tree of the vicinity, and from a high branch, hidden behind the thick leaves, he located a gathering of orcs. He could not discern if anyone innocent was trapped among them, but it bothered him still. They were gathering in mass amounts. In a few days they would be able to ambush Lothlórien.

He cursed under his breath. Trapped he was between his homeland and Legolas, between an entire village whom he protected and a single elf who needed him. It had been too long since he left, yet Imladris was still too far from him. Legolas depended on him to arrive just days after them, and already he was a week past his promised date. He needed to keep Legolas's trust, for he feared losing it could prove to be detrimental to Legolas's healing.

But he could not leave the lives of many Silvan elves at the mercy of the orcs. And especially not when - and Haldir's heart clenched at the thought - that Orophin and Rúmil were among the first elves that would meet the orcs head-on. He needed to do this if it meant protecting them.

And so he pulled an arrow from his quiver, and he nocked an arrow, pointing it to the leader of the pack. His heart pounding, he knew that there was a chance this battle would lead to his death, which would surely devastate Legolas. "But there is much at stake if I do not do this," he thought.

He loosed the arrow, and it went straight through the skull of the orc leader. Terrible roars erupted, and Haldir loosed a couple more arrows in the group. Moving swiftly he slipped from one tree to the next, showering more arrows. The desired effect came; the orcs cried out and shook their swords and their clubs at the invisible elven army that had dared them. Haldir kept himself hidden, but he sent more arrows, this time moving northward, leading them far from either Imladris or Lothlórien. But his supply of arrows was limited, and the weather worked against him that night for it began to rain during the chase; and his visibility, though better than any of the orcs, was still limited. He could find no place he could have them all gather for their final doom, but in time he realized that nature was working in his favor. For the showers of arrows and the heavy rain caused them to become frantic, and they slew each other and fell into the nearby river, which frothed and overflowed in the great storm. The ones who survived continued on their northbound run.

Seeing that his mission was successful, Haldir ran back to his camp, shivering but slightly in his clothes. The rain had shimmered down to a drizzle by the time he relocated the bushes he left Faeloth. He called out his horse's name, but no reply came, and then a sense of dread crossed him and he ran to the place where he left Faeloth.

Some of the orcs, in the madness of the chase, had slew the steed, and all Haldir could do then was to stare at the remains of one of his loyalest friends. He knelt down and prayed for Faeloth's peace in death, and for the remainder of the night he huddled up the tall tree.

He peeled off the wet clothes and slept in only his leggings. When the morning arrived, he laid out his clothes to gather the warmth of the sun. It was impossible to bury Faeloth, but Haldir covered him in as much dirt as he could, for it pained him to think his steed would soon become the food of vultures.

He uncovered his belongings, and for the remainder of the day he rested against the tree to write his letter. He located a messenger dove to deliver his warning, and he sang softly in his Silvan tongue, which lured the bird to him. Eagerly she took his message and flew off. And as he watched her disappear over the treetops he hoped she would reach his brothers in time. Closing his eyes he sought to reach Orophin or Rúmil's mind to warn them of the coming orcs, but he was uncertain if he was successful. A communication over such a distance was rare among the elves save for the more powerful ones among the Eldar.

His clothes now dried, he slipped them back on. He sifted through his belongings and chose what to discard. Then packed with only the essentials he needed for the journey, he trod on. This time he stopped for no rest, even when his body finally began to wear out from the journey and begged him to sleep. But he would not waste a minute being idle. He nibbled on bread as he walked, and when his mind protested, he allowed himself to fall into reverie yet still walk on, conscious of the world only through a small part of his mind.

Imladris loomed in the near distance, a beautiful valley glowing in the evening when he reached there. His legs nearly gave out underneath him, but he could not succumb to rest. He made his way to the Last Homely House. One of Elrond's councillors, an elven woman who had seen the fall of Gondolin, was the first to set eyes on him, and instantly she took him to Lord Elrond. He was just leaving the Hall of Fire, a book clutched beneath his arm, but upon seeing Haldir and the state of his appearance, he thanked his counsellor and ushered Haldir back into the Hall.

"Forgive me, my lord," Haldir said. "I meant to come sooner, but I was waylaid by an army of orcs."

"I know of this already," Lord Elrond said. "Lady Galadriel has received your warning, and you can rest assure that your people are safe." He smiled at Haldir before motioning for him to take a seat. "Your body is starved. The servants will bring your a meal right away."

Haldir thanked Lord Elrond, yet he found he had little appetite. But not to appear rude he sipped small amounts of soup and tore small portions of the bread. "How is he?"

"He appeared to be recovering for a time, but also he has slowly regressed," Lord Elrond said. "It has been a chain of good and bad days. His panic attacks have subsided for now. The room I placed him in can be locked as not to allow a draft in. From that I filled his room with the scent of lavender. It initially worked, but as your absence continued he appeared to have grown a resistance to it."

Haldir grimaced. "I am sorry. Forgive me."

"Do not apologize," Lord Elrond said. "I was expecting him to, thus I alternate his therapy. I use many other oils for their scent, but also he is subjected to prayers. Arwen helps me with this, as she's grown close to him since he arrived. Elladan and Elrohir were sent to kill Glorfindel. It will be the only option we have, and I am sure Glorfindel would have preferred this to happen than to continue harming others."

Haldir nodded in understanding, yet Elrond's words did not lessen the chill that overcame his heart.

"Has Legolas had any episodes about the demon?" Haldir asked.

"Yes, unfortunately," Lord Elrond said. "And especially in the past few nights. We hear him screaming, but there is nothing inside by the time someone comes to his aid. Neither I nor Arwen are there when he is having a fit. Perhaps the absence of a friend nearby sends his panic into delirium. It is hard to say at this point; I questioned him about it, especially after the first episode. I suspect he had no vision during our travel to Imladris, and neither the first week while he was here."

Haldir thought of the times when he stayed by Legolas's side and watched as Legolas's fear-filled eyes followed the invisible terror crawling the walls. But he did not mention this to Lord Elrond. He needed time to mull over the strange events. He was certain he felt something that day when he searched Legolas's room for the thing that terrorized him.

"And how is he now?"

"A little bit better and a little bit worst," Lord Elrond said. "Every little victory is overshadowed by a new grief. That is expected with this illness. I intend to heal him as well as I can. It is my greatest wish to be more successful than my last attempt."

The last few words were more to himself than to Haldir, but he heard the words nonetheless. He could find no proper words to say, and they carried on in silence for a time before Lord Elrond spoke again.

"Perhaps it will interest you to know that Legolas has been fighting his illness. Though still plagued with the depression, he has turned his pleas of death to prayers of deliverance. Arwen noted that she found a sheet of a prayer Legolas has recorded. It is a little known prayer for its words bring grief to all, but the words resonant with those who are fading. I know not how he came into possession of it, much less preserved in its original Quenya. It had to have been someone here who showed him the book, and to whoever that is, they have my sincere gratitude. It has broken a barrier, although small. I cannot be more thankful. There is still hope for Legolas."

And hearing this, Haldir found himself unable to be away from Legolas any longer. He finished his meal, this time with more enthusiasm, and he followed Lord Elrond to Legolas's room. But before he entered, Lord Elrond kept his hand to the doorknob.

"You appeared glad when I told you of Legolas's prayers, but the truth still remains that we are up against a terrible thing to battle. Something is troubling him greatly - something of which we have not identified yet - and he speaks none of it, I am afraid. And what that is will destroy him. He may pray during his every waking minute, but no blessing will he receive until he learns to unlock the one door that is preventing him from recovery. That door is sealed by this other hidden illness.

"You will understand when you see him. Even with all of his victories he is still slipping from our grasps." Then he unlocked the door and bid Haldir a good night before leaving.

Haldir made his way to the bed. Legolas still slept with his eyes closed tightly shut, but Haldir did not think that would change any time soon. There indeed seemed to be a difference about him, though Haldir was uncertain what exactly it was. The blanket was pulled down to reveal one thin arm draped over his abdomen. Haldir picked up the blanket and brought it to Legolas's chin.

"Well met, my beloved," Haldir whispered. "I returned as I promised. I am sorry I could not come sooner." He glanced about the room. Arwen and Legolas had spent time making crafts together. Lord Elrond had told him Arwen conducted many sessions where they just sat and created art, and the evidence could be seen throughout the room: Pillows were varnished with embroidery with delicate tiny beads in intricate paintings of flowers and birds; parchment scrolls with the elegant brushstrokes of well-known elven songs and proverbs; and there were also candles altered from their original shape, and flowers were woven around them.

But what really interested him were the dolls. Scattered across the bed and floor were small dolls each the side of one's palm. They were simple in design, but each one was unique. Haldir curiously studied them to guess their identity, and he was surprised to find that not just he but also his brothers and parents were made. There was Gimli, Aragorn, and the rest of his friends. Also were Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir, and Lord Elrond; and also all of Legolas's family including the elvenqueen. But one doll was missing, and deciding to surprise Legolas, he gathered the materials.

The dolls were not hard to make, and in no time the Haldir doll now had another doll settled next to him, and about their tiny arms was wrapped a string of yarn. Haldir placed them atop Legolas's bed side, so Legolas would see them upon waking up.

At last, sleep and fatigue caught up with Haldir. He rested on the chair beside the bed, and he held Legolas's hand in his. He studied his beloved for a while before the reverie crept over him. His head rested on the bed as his mind entered other realms.

* * *

Legolas woke with the sensation of hands on him. At first he tensed, fearing that in his negligence of watching out for the devil, he was finally grabbed and would be dragged to a world of agony. But moments passed and the confusion faded, and he realized the hand that held his was soft and warm. His heart leapt, but it was fearful to have hope. Slowly he opened his eyes and saw that he held hands with a sleeping Haldir, who still wore his day clothes, spread out exhausted on the edge of his bed.

He held Haldir firmly, not wanting to slacken his grip and also fearing that squeezing it would jolt Haldir awake. As gently as he could to reduce the chance of waking him, he stroked the flesh, telling himself over and over that Haldir was here, that he returned. He was not dreaming.

You arrived," he said so softly his lips barely moved. "You came as you promised." He became conscious that his other hand rested on his abdomen. The memory of the agony returned, but he sought to chase it out, preferring instead to focus on the sensation of love from the elf who held his hand


End file.
